Chapter Twenty-One
Keeping hold of my hand, Finn leads me away from the celebration and the music, toward the summit beyond our tents. I wonder if we’re going to talk about what happened at the waterfall. Or if he might try to kiss me again. I wish he would. And I wish I could kiss him back without hurting Sebastian.
“Where are you taking me?” I ask.
“Somewhere I think you’ll like.”
We walk in silence for a while. I don’t pull my hand from his, and he doesn’t let me go. It’s not until we approach a steep, grassy incline that I hesitate. “Finn?” I glance down at my gown and consider my slipper-clad feet beneath. “I’m not exactly dressed for hiking this evening.”
“It’s not far,” he says. “And if you get too tired, I’ll carry you.”
That just makes my cheeks burn hotter, but I nod and let him lead me up the hill. I don’t complain once about being tired or about how useless these slippers are. I don’t dare. I’m trying to resist temptation here and I don’t think I’d succeed if Finn scooped me into his arms.
“I’m sorry the priestess made us delay our visit,” I say, if only to distract myself. “I’m sure you’re anxious to get to Mab.”
“I am,” he says softly. “But more than that, I’m worried that the priestess might refuse to see me altogether.”
“Why? I thought that was why you brought me. As long as the power of the throne is with you, she’ll agree to an audience.”
“She can’t refuse the power of the crown—not without risking the wrath of Mab and having the very magic of her position turn on her. But she could make it difficult or refuse to let me stand by your side. To spite me.”
“Why?”
“Remember when I told you that I blame this whole mess on myself for not stepping up when my father was in the mortal realm?”
How could I forget? Finn’s guilt is so heavy. That night in the stables at Juliana’s estate, I finally understood a piece of why that is. “I remember,” I say softly.
“Well, it’s a little more complicated than that. I’d been rebelling against my father for years—ever since I fell in love with Isabel and decided to make her my bride. My father didn’t care that I was involved with a changeling—many of the nobility have affairs with humans. But when he found out that I planned to marry her, all hell broke loose. I was to be king and needed a proper queen by my side.”
He focuses on the path ahead, but I know that if I could see his eyes, there’d be pain there. “I wanted to spend my life with Isabel. To rule beside her.” Finn sighs. “My father forbade it, but I was young and in love, and I didn’t care. My stubbornness cost me in so many ways—with him, with my court, and with the High Priestess.”
“Why did the High Priestess care?” I ask.
“Because I was supposed to marry her daughter.”
I frown. Isn’t the priestess’s daughter— “Juliana?”
“The one and only. She’s the one my father picked for me to marry. We practically grew up together, and our parents were thrilled when we became good friends. I knew I was lucky. In a world like ours and in positions like ours, friendship in marriage is more than most get. Sometimes it’s built over time, but too often . . .”
I watch him, waiting, and his jaw ticks. “Too often what?”
He sighs. “Too often, the hate ruling couples feel for their spouses rivals what they feel for their kingdom’s enemies. I saw it in my grandparents, and Pretha will tell you the same about hers. But after I met Isabel, I knew I couldn’t marry Juliana. I couldn’t do that to either of them.”
“You loved Isabel from the first moment you saw her?” I ask.
He takes my hand and helps me up over a rocky ledge, and when I’m on level ground with him again, he’s smiling. “I think lusted might be a better word. She was the most beautiful thing I’d ever seen.”
Finn doesn’t release my hand as we start walking again. Instead, he laces his fingers with mine.
“You’d never seen a human before?” I ask.
He laughs. “Oh, I’d seen plenty of humans, and I’d met plenty of changelings, but I’d never met any like her. Attraction is strange like that. It’s like we don’t even get a say in it. Just— boom. It didn’t hurt that she looked at me like I was a god. Her own personal salvation.”
“Hero worship does it for you, huh?” I ask, arching my brow.