I’m exhausted and impatient, my instincts at war. Half of me wants to sleep forever while the other half wants to set out to help the Unseelie children right now. But I don’t have the first idea where to go or what I’d be walking into, and I need sleep desperately.
I return to my room, strip off my dirty gown, and scrub my skin until it tingles.
As I continue washing, I notice the emerald hanging between my breasts. Sebastian gave this to me for our bonding ceremony. It seemed like such a thoughtful gift—a piece of jewelry to match the dress my sister designed for me—but now it’s a cold reminder of his betrayal. I’m tempted to tear it off and toss it into the trash, but I resist. I don’t have any money, and I might need something I can sell down the road.
I swipe the washcloth over my breastbone, ignoring the rune inked into my skin, the sign of my life-bond with Sebastian, right above my heart.
It’s been only a day since I last bathed, but it feels like a lifetime has passed since I prepared myself for Sebastian and our bonding ceremony. I was filled with such joy and anticipation; now all I feel is the burning ache of betrayal, the steady lapping of his emotions through the bond, like waves against a crumbling seawall, threatening to overwhelm me.
Love you. Need you. Forgive me.
But forgiveness feels as distant and impossible as a return to my life in the human realm.
Sebastian stole the last of my ability to trust when he bonded with me. He made me believe he wanted the bond because he loved me. I tied my soul to his so he could protect me from those who would end my life to steal the crown. And he let me. He let me bond with him, coaxed me into it while feeding me carefully selected bites of the truth paired with tidy, alluring lies. He took my bond even though he knew the curse and his Unseelie blood would kill me, even though he knew I’d have to take the potion and become fae to survive.
And he did it all for power. For the very crown he condemned Finn and Mordeus for pursuing.
Sebastian’s no better than the rest of them, and now I’m tied to him forever. For my entire immortal life. Now I can feel him, as if he’s part of me.
I push it all away. His feelings. Mine.
It’s too much. Too big. And yet too small all at the same time. There are whole camps of children being drugged and locked away for the queen’s nefarious purposes. Innocent children who have no more power over their circumstances than I had when I signed the contract with Madame V so Jas and I wouldn’t end up on the streets.
When I found out about the camps, I was sick. Finn told me that when the golden queen’s guard caught shadow fae in her territory, she’d separate the children from their parents and put them in camps, where she’d brainwash them—teach them that the Seelie were better, more worthy, and that the Unseelie should serve them.
Every instinct in my heart warned that those camps were a sign that I shouldn’t trust the golden fae, but I let Sebastian’s promise that he “opposed” the camps placate me. I won’t be a fool again. I won’t stoop to Sebastian’s level and obsess about my own problems when I’m capable of helping. I won’t be like him and turn a blind eye to his mother’s evil deeds. I will do whatever I can to help those children—if only because doing so will disrupt whatever Sebastian and his mother have planned.
I’m stuck here. I’m fae. But I am not powerless, and I will never be like them.
Exhaustion makes it easy to turn off my spiraling thoughts. I want to sleep like this, clean skin on clean sheets, but I make myself put the new clothes on. The moment that trap springs, I don’t want to waste time dressing. I need to be ready to go.
When I crawl into bed, I barely make it under the covers before I fall asleep.
I dream of darkness. Of gazing up at a comforting blanket of sparkling stars. Of Finn’s voice behind me.
Abriella, every star in that sky shines for you.
The flutter in my chest turns to flapping wings, and I’m flying, soaring through the dark night sky, a tiny hand squeezing mine. I’m not even surprised when I look over to see Lark’s silver eyes, her wide smile. Finn’s niece has come to me in my dreams before, usually to warn me about something or share some sort of cryptic prophecy. This is the first time, I realize, that doing so won’t shave days off her life. The golden queen’s curse was broken the moment her son took the Unseelie crown. Now the shadow fae can use their powers without sacrificing their immortality.
At least something good came of Sebastian’s betrayal.
The silver webbing on Lark’s forehead glows as we fly through the star-studded night sky, but then suddenly we swoop down and the peaceful night disappears. We’re in some sort of infirmary.