My heart twists as I look up into those eyes and see the ache and longing there. I felt those same things not so long ago.
His gaze drops to my mouth and he leans in, but I press a hand to the center of his chest and nudge him back before he can come closer.
“Bash, that’s not who we are anymore.”
“I don’t agree,” he says, his voice rough. “It’s who I am. Loving you is part of who I am. Do you know what it was like? To not know if I’d get there in time? To have to let him help you when we returned? Do you have any idea what that does to me?”
“I do. And I’m sorry.”
I drop my gaze to the polished stone floor. It’s too hard to see his face, to look into those beautiful eyes and block him out. “Finn told me you were the one who was able to track the fire fae in the mountains—that you saved so many people.”
“With Riaan’s help, yes. But so many were still lost, Brie.” He stares toward a window at the end of the corridor and watches the rising sun with tired eyes. “They died because of her. Because of my mother. I need you to believe me when I tell you I’m not working with her. That I will go to war with her kingdom before I let her destroy the Unseelie.”
“I know.” I swallow hard and drop my voice. “I feel it. I feel you. I know you.”
He swallows. “I’m so sorry if any of my decisions ever made you think I’d support her in any way. But now it’s as if she’s trying to punish me—trying to turn my court against me before I even have a chance to take the throne. And I . . . I don’t understand why.”
I squeeze his forearm. “You’re doing the right things. Just keep working with us—with Finn and his people, with me. We’ll figure this out.”
“Good,” Sebastian says, then eyes the room behind me. “Now that you’re better, we can move you to my room.”
“We probably shouldn’t share a room, Bash.” I bite the inside of my cheek, then force myself to meet his eyes. “I want us to work together. I want us to be friends, but I can’t offer anything beyond that.”
His fair cheeks flush, and his eyes darken. “But you don’t mind sharing a room with him? ”
Blinking, I look over my shoulder. I didn’t know this was Finn’s room, but it makes sense—the way his wolves lounged in the corner, the way the sheets smelled like him. The Midnight Palace would’ve been his home before Mordeus stole the throne, and the palace is big enough that Finn’s chambers were probably untouched when he returned.
When my thoughts stall on how I just slept in the same bed where Finn’s spent countless nights, I cut them off and shrug. “It doesn’t matter. We’re leaving today.”
He slides his hand down my arm and squeezes my fingers. “Come back to me—after? Give me a chance to win you back?”
“Are you two coming?” Pretha asks from down the hall. She’s smiling, but her expression is tight.
“The others are waiting in the briefing room.”
I gently extract my hand from Sebastian’s. “We should go.”
We follow Pretha into a room I’ve never been in before where Finn, Misha, Kane, Tynan, Riaan, and Jalek are gathered around a large table. There’s a glass of water at each spot, right next to an empty glass. Down the center of the table are three separate decanters of amber liquid, as if this is some sort of whiskey-tasting party and not a meeting to plan our strategy to protect this court from a power-hungry queen.
Good to see you on your feet again, Princess, Misha says in my mind.
I flash him a quick smile. Glad to be on my feet.
“Nice of you two to join us,” Finn says, his gaze skipping over me and stuttering for a beat on my hand—which Sebastian has taken in his again. Finn turns to Riaan. “What’s the status of the queen’s forces in the mountains?”
“They’re in a holding pattern right around the border,” he says. “Their numbers are growing, but there are no signs of them advancing.”
“And why should we listen to him?” Jalek asks. “He served Arya.”
Riaan’s eyes blaze with anger, but he leans back in his chair. “I served my prince, ” he says. “And continue to.”
Sebastian releases my hand and approaches a vacant chair. “I think Riaan proved himself when the capital was attacked. Without his help, we wouldn’t have been able to end that fire fae legion as quickly as we did.”
But you don’t trust him, Misha says in my mind as the others continue to talk.