“I saw you kissing him,” he says softly. There’s no judgment in his voice.
I swallow. “That was a mistake. He caught me off guard, and the bond made it . . .”
He closes his eyes, as if this explanation makes it worse. “I imagine it was quite intense with the bond. I’ve heard . . .” He sighs and shakes his head. “It doesn’t matter why you kissed him or if you plan to do it again. Contrary to any comments I may have made that day or after, it’s not my business.”
“Maybe not, but I wanted you to know. Nothing’s changed since the day I left the Golden Palace.
He deceived me twice, Finn.” I shrug. “I’m not sure if our relationship could ever come back from that. Even if I wanted it to.”
He cocks his head to the side and stares at me. “Why’s that?”
Because he’s not you. Because I can’t stop thinking about our kiss or the way you comforted me last night. Because though my bond with Sebastian might heighten the things I feel about and with him, none of it compares to the way I feel when I’m close to you.
But I don’t tell him any of that. Finn’s been honest about what he wants—about his motivations and his priorities. He’s attracted to me, yes, and maybe he’d even welcome me into his bed. But he’s here for his people, not for me, and it’s not fair for me to wish for anything different from him. “I don’t trust anyone,” I finally say.
Finn nods and turns to leave, but he stops with his hand on the tent flap. He doesn’t turn around as he speaks. “You can trust me, you know. I realize my word doesn’t mean much to you, but it’s still true.”
I bathe, eat some of the bread and cheese prepared for us, and attempt a nap, but every time I drift off, I hear something outside the tent and jerk awake, thinking Finn might be returning. There’s so much we need to talk about. I still haven’t confessed that I spied on him and Juliana last night or asked about what the tethered are.
But he doesn’t come. Instead, the servant who helped with my bath returns to the tent in the late afternoon and tells me that Finn would like me to dress for our outing and meet him at the stables.
This afternoon we travel to a sacred spring and make an offering to Lugh so that the priestess will agree to see us tomorrow.
I let the servant help me into one of several dresses that were waiting in the tent when we arrived.
It’s the same red as I was wearing this morning, with thicker sleeves and a higher neckline.
I’m dreading a return to the rainy day, but when I step out of the tent, the sun is shining. I wonder if I’ll regret the heavy dress and the extra layer of socks beneath my boots.
The servant directs me toward the stables, and the moment I see Finn standing next to Two Star, I remember why the term tethered as a relationship between two people sounded familiar.
Misha and Amira told me that Finn’s grandfather Kairyn was the tethered match of Queen Reé, the last ruler from Mab’s line. I didn’t ask what that meant and had assumed it was some sort of pledge between a queen and her second. But if Finn thinks we might be tethered, it can’t be that.
“Did you have a nice nap?” Finn asks.
“Yes, thank you,” I say, smiling through the lie. Admitting that I spent the whole time wishing he’d join me will only sound pathetic.
“Good.” He pulls the saddle cinch tight and pats Two Star’s flank. “Kane and Pretha will be joining us. We can be there in an hour if we move quickly.”
The other two mount their horses, and I frown. “Where’s your horse, Finn?”
He grins at me and strokes Two Star again. “You and I are riding together.”
I scoff. “You’re kidding.”
Finn arches a brow and shifts his gaze to the servant waiting at attention behind me. Right.
Because we’re supposedly betrothed.
“I’m just saying,” I say, schooling my features, “I don’t mind riding alone.”
“It’s safer this way,” he says. “I’m not taking any chances after what happened in the capital.”
“Lucky for us, the sun came out,” Pretha says from atop her mount, tilting her face toward the sky.
“Feels like summer again.”
Kane nudges his horse forward and comes to a stop beside Pretha. “You probably should’ve dressed in something cooler,” he says, looking me over.
I shrug. “I’ll be fine. How hot can it get in the mountains?”
Really damned hot. Especially considering my too-thick clothing and the heat of Finn riding behind me. The sun beat down on us as we rode along the mountain paths, and by the time we stopped at the spring to make offerings to Lugh, I was flushed, sweaty, and miserable.