Three months in, she offered to let me use her computer. I could check my e-mail, the news, social media, whatever I wanted. The laptop sat at her desk, beckoning, but I had no urge to answer. What was waiting on the other side? Lapsed insurance notifications, wedding announcements, sleek travel photos posted by strangers I used to admire. You couldn’t swipe left or right on me anymore. What difference did it make that Congress was still gridlocked and Rachel was pregnant with her second? The machinery of the world had kept churning without me, I without it. I told her thanks but no, thanks. Her eyes shone. She pulled a cell phone from a desk drawer, dangled it in front of me, and asked if I’d like to call anyone. A former coworker, perhaps? A neighbor? Natalie?
For the first time in my life, I was content. I had finally stopped reaching for my phone. What could I hope to gain from one call anyway? I had Jeremiah and Raeanne and Ruth and my students, I told her.
I have you, Teacher.
24
Kit
OCTOBER 2019
I STRODE INTO Teacher’s office, a clipboard tucked under my arm, at four o’clock sharp.
“The gutter on the west side of the house has been repaired.” I checked my notes. “Same with dryer number four. Sanderson left to make the grocery run. I reminded him to double up on nonperishables in case the storm is worse than we expect.”
Teacher peered up from the legal pad on her desk. “What would I do without you?”
I warmed at her praise like a lizard on a desert rock.
“As for my students, I think nine of them are ready to move on to intermediate courses.” I turned the page on my clipboard. “Jocelyn is doing particularly well. Yesterday she set a new guest record in the pool—sixty-five laps without stopping.”
“You hypnotize me, you know that?”
After three months here, I had gotten used to the intensity of Teacher’s attention, though it still made my stomach flip.
“What about the tenth student?”
I frowned. “Should we re-enroll him in the beginners’ course with a different instructor? He’s still showing up late to class, not making much of an effort.” I tugged Mom’s scarf tighter. “Jeremiah searched the student’s room like you said. He found a cell phone in the desk drawer.”
“Send him home.”
My eyes widened. “But—”
She slapped her own face, hard. I gawked. “That’s what sneaking a phone here feels like to me. The program has to come first. We don’t do three strikes.” She calmed. “You know that, Kitten.”
I swooned. She had never used a nickname for me before. She rose from her desk chair and gestured for me to join her on the velvet couch. We sat close together. The right side of her face had a red handprint where she’d struck herself. She rested her hand on my knee, danced a finger in little circles around the bone. My spine tingled.
“I have to be able to count on your judgment if I’m going to bring you on as an employee.”
I gasped. She bit back a smile.
“Seriously?” I had hoped this would happen but knew Teacher preferred to keep her staff small. According to Jeremiah, the only reason he’d been brought on was to organize Wisewood’s finances. He claimed Teacher didn’t even like him that much—the disarray of her bookkeeping was that bad.
She pointed at my clipboard. “You practically are one already. I think it’s time to make it official.”
My head spun. “So I would live here . . .”
“Indefinitely. You won’t have to leave when your six months are up. You won’t have an income but you’ll get a free room, free meals, free course work. No more worrying about taxes and the rest of the government’s headaches. We’ll help with the student loan. We’re here for you.” She squeezed my knee.
I considered what I’d be leaving behind: happy hours with my coworkers, walks through Central Park, mirrors, the internet, Domino’s at two a.m. When I came here, I never intended to stay.
I had spent the past weeks reimagining my career. Maybe the key was avoiding office gigs. I thought I’d like working outside or with animals. I’d toyed with moving to Colorado or Wyoming. I could become a nature guide, host white-water rafting trips. When I’d mentioned my ideas to Teacher, she’d told me the world beyond Wisewood wouldn’t care about my Maximized Self. No matter where I moved or what job I took, they would try to change me. At the time, I was deflated. But she could’ve been grooming me for this job all along.
Teacher’s face had turned stony. “If you’re not interested, I’ll find someone else.” She gripped my knee. When I squeaked in pain, she released me and shifted away.