It’s so crazy to think about how shy I was the night of Eli’s birthday. How I could barely look at him because he’s so handsome, and now I’m at a point in my life where I couldn’t care less if I flash him my boob. I actually welcome it. I welcome all of him.
“Cool,” he says before pushing his shorts down, revealing his black boxer briefs, and then climbing into bed. I switch off the light on the nightstand, and instead of turning toward him like I normally do, I keep my back to him, and I scoot closer.
“Mmm, I can feel your warmth already,” I say as I snuggle my back into his chest.
He makes an incoherent sound before I take his arm and wrap it around me.
“I look forward to this at night,” I say, bordering friendship and what I want. “Some human touch. You know? The days are long and just knowing I have this comfort for when I get home, it’s nice.”
I move in closer and press his hand to my stomach.
Once again, he’s stiff at first, but after a few seconds and some deep breaths, he’s melting right into our hold.
“Is, uh, is this nightgown new?” he asks, his fingers slowly dragging over the fabric. The movement—which is so small—makes me fully aware of how much I need a man right now. Not just any man, but this man.
“It is. I told you I had to get some new bras. Well, the girls and I went to the lingerie store, and I found these. They looked so comfortable, and they are. Do you like it?”
“Uh, yeah, I mean . . . it’s nice on you, and it feels good.”
“So good, and they’re just long enough that I don’t have to wear underwear.”
“You’re”—his voice cracks—“not wearing underwear?”
“No. It’s gotten so uncomfortable recently. I think I’ll be forgoing it altogether. But the new bras I got feel like butter wrapped around me. I wore one with my shirt today. Did you notice?”
“Hard not to notice, Penny.”
I turn just enough so I’m on my back, looking up at him. “You say that as if it’s a bad thing?”
“It’s not.” His hand doesn’t lift from my stomach. If anything, his grip on me grows wider, stronger. “You just . . . well, you looked really freaking good today.”
“Aw, thank you, Eli. I’ve been feeling so good lately. So you liked the dress? Not sure how much longer I’ll be able to wear it.”
He shakes his head as his eyes grow heavy. “No, the shirt. I really liked the shirt.”
I knew he would. Eli is a type A alpha. It’s written all over his personality. He’s sweet, kind, and an extrovert, but he also has this alluring, domineering side. I knew if I wore his name on my back, he’d not only find it sexy. Hopefully, he’d find peace that I’m communicating, in some ways, that I belong to him too.
“Oh yes. I liked it too. Wearing your name . . . it felt special.” His breathing picks up as he swallows hard. I have him right where I want him. “Anyway.” I lift and kiss the side of his cheek. “Good night, Eli.”
And then I lower back down to rest my head on my pillow.
I try not to hold my breath as I listen for any indication that he might crack. Break. Maybe even bend. I’ll take a bend at this point.
I know I’ve played with his head enough tonight. I’m just waiting to see the effects of it.
But when he doesn’t say anything, when he doesn’t even make the slightest move, disappointment rips through me.
What is it going to take for this man to do something? To break that promise with Pacey? To give in to his obvious desires?
There’s got to be something—
He shifts behind me, and his hand slides up my stomach so his thumb rests right below my breast. My breath seizes in my lungs.
Oh God, is he bending?
Out of pure fear that I’ll scare him away, I hold my breath, waiting . . . hoping . . . begging.
He’s so close.
I barely hold in a moan.
His fingers dance so dangerously near me that I can feel the heat coming from them.
And I want it.
I want him.
I want him to touch me.
One more shift. One more inch.
One more breath.
Anything.
Please, just anything.
And then his thumb moves, the tip rubbing gently across the underside of my breast.
Yessss.
My eyes squeeze shut as a wave of arousal pools between my legs instantaneously.
Just like that. I’m ready for him.
I just pray it wasn’t an accident . . .
Chapter Twenty-Five
ELI