I walk back into the living room, keeping my phone close, and I attempt to figure out where she’d go just as the front door opens. She pauses when she sees that the lights are on.
“You’re awake?” she asks.
“Jesus, yes, I reached for you, and you weren’t in bed, so I looked for you. Where the hell were you?”
She steps all the way into the apartment with a brown bag. “I went to find a donut,” she answers casually. “I wanted a chocolate one. You’d be surprised how hard that was to find. I went to four different stores.” She holds up the bag. “Don’t worry though, I got a dozen.”
“You . . . you went to get a donut at three in the morning?”
“Technically, when I left, it was two, but the answer is yes. I didn’t think I could sleep without one.” She takes a bite of one. “You look sweaty. Are you okay?”
“Penny, you didn’t take your phone with you, so I didn’t know where you were. Please don’t fucking do that to me again.”
“I didn’t do it on purpose,” she says, taking another bite. “I just really needed a donut, Eli. You can understand that.”
“Babe, ask me to do it next time.”
“Uh, no. I’m not going to do that. You don’t need to be parading around Vancouver looking for donuts. Trust me, I had it handled.”
I step up to her and take the bag. Gripping her chin, I say, “Next time, wake me up, or there are going to be some serious problems.”
“Are you . . . threatening me, Eli Hornsby?”
“Yes.”
“Ooo.” She smiles. “And what exactly is the punishment? A solid spanking?”
“No . . . your punishment would be no more sex.”
Her face falls. “You can’t do that to a horny pregnant woman who needs the help of your penis at least three times a day.”
“And you can’t scare a frightened boyfriend who loves you deeply and wants to protect you.”
She taps her chin. “I can possibly see your point.”
Chuckling, I wrap my arm around her. “God, Penny, you’re going to drive me so fucking nuts.”
“Good thing you love me, right?”
I kiss the tip of her nose. “Good thing.”
“Do we really have to paint? I kind of like the motif we got in here.”
“Penny,” I deadpan, looking around the room. “It looks like a freaking crime scene in here.”
“Crime scene would need red. I used gray. I think it’s quite fetching, announcing him in here. Don’t you think it has this avant-garde look? Very original.”
“It has a psychopath was here look that I’ll not allow my son to live in. We are painting.”
She groans and then takes a seat on the floor. “Well, at least take your shirt off and make this interesting for me.”
“No,” I say as I pour the dark gray paint she loves into the paint pan. “Every time I’ve attempted to paint this room, you’ve asked me to take my shirt off. I’ve obliged, and then you’ve somehow managed to get your hand down my pants, we have sex, and then the painting is forgotten. Not happening this time.”
“Wow, so you’re just going to deny me of the finer things in life now?”
“Flattery is not going to work in your favor as well.”
“Well, what if I get undressed, just lie here naked, maybe grab that clit stimulator you love using on me so much when your tongue is tired?” She waggles her eyebrows at me.
“Do what you want. If I have to paint this room with a goddamn erection, then I will. We have one month, babe. We have all this stuff from the baby shower. We have to start nesting.”
“Aw, look at you using the terms.”
“I’m serious.” I dip the roller in the paint and soak up the gray. The room has already been edged and taped off. I just have to get the main space of the walls done. It shouldn’t take me that long, at least that’s what I’m hoping. You can never tell with the woman sitting in front of me . . . now circling her nipples.
“Oh my, look at this, my nipples are getting hard.”
I pause and turn toward her. “Penny?”
“Hmm?” she asks while waving her legs open and shut.
“Why don’t you want me to paint this room?”
“I told you,” she says, exasperated. “The room is unique.”
“That is not the reason, and you know it.”
“Well, that’s the reason I’m giving you.”