Penny: Slightly morbid, but I’ll go with the questioning. I’d probably have to choose a cinnamon bun.
Eli: Have you ever been to Denver?
Penny: No. Are they known for their cinnamon buns?
Eli: Lol, not that I’m aware of, but there is a place here that Posey and I go to called The Denver Biscuit Company, and they serve these giant cinnamon buns that are impossible to eat by yourself. If I had known this was your favorite breakfast food, I’d have brought one home to you.
Penny: My mouth is watering.
Eli: Next time we’re here, I’ll grab one for sure.
Penny: Why do you ask?
Eli: Just a good thing to know. Get some sleep. I’ll see you in the morning.
Chapter Twelve
ELI
I roll out of bed quietly, making sure not to wake Penny, and I head out of the bedroom, closing the door behind me.
I’ve been up ever since Penny woke up at four with a bout of nausea. She dry-heaved into the toilet a few times, but that was it. I sat next to her the entire time, unsure of what she really needed, so instead of talking, I just made sure she knew I was there for her.
When she was feeling better, I helped her back into bed, and as she drifted off to sleep, I lay awake until my phone buzzed with a notification from my Uber Eats driver, letting me know that the food I ordered was delivered.
I move to the entryway of her one-bedroom apartment, across the semi-creaky floorboards, and over to the front door, where I quietly open it to find a paper bag of food on the doormat.
Perfect.
I scoop up the bag just as my phone buzzes again. I glance at the screen and see a text from Penny.
She’s awake?
And why is she texting me? Maybe she needs something. With the bag in one hand and my phone in the other, I bring my phone into view and read the message.
Penny: Oh my God, Blakley. I’ve had to fart so bad, and Eli finally left the room. Why is this happening to me?
I snort so hard, droplets of snot fly out of my nose. Oh shit, she’s going to be absolutely mortified when she realizes she sent the text to the wrong person. And we just moved past the awkwardness. I have a feeling this might set us back.
But . . .
I chuckle.
Why didn’t she just get up and go fart somewhere in private? Why did she have to wait for me to leave the room?
Something I’ll probably never know because no way in hell am I going to bring it up.
Nope, I’m going to pretend I read nothing. Ignorance is bliss.
I take the food to the kitchen just as my phone buzzes again. A grin spreads across my face as I reach for my phone and read it again.
Penny: I just farted again. I’ve never felt so light in my life. Do you think all the gas I’ve been having lately is the reason for the nausea? I think I’m going to ask Dr. Big Pecs.
Dr. Big Pecs?
Who the hell is that?
She never mentioned her doctor having big pecs, but then again, why would she mention that to me? And I know I shouldn’t care if she thinks her doctor has big pecs because that’s none of my business, but . . . how big are we talking?
Bigger than mine?
I have some decent pecs. I know I look good with my shirt off, so could they be bigger than mine? They have to be if that’s his nickname. So what is a doctor with big pecs doing sniffing around women’s vaginas? In my head, her doctor was some crusty old man who has to push his glasses up on his nose every few seconds because he never thought about getting them fitted properly. Where is Dr. Old Man? Also, is Dr. Big Pecs single?
I know I said ignorance is bliss, but . . .
Now I’m itching to have a conversation with her to get more information on this doctor, but then again, that would probably make her want to crawl in a hole and die of humiliation. I don’t want to humiliate her, but God . . . I want answers. Are his pecs real? Has she touched them? Has he offered to let her touch them?
Can I fucking touch them?
Jesus Christ, one mention of big pecs, and I’m losing my goddamn mind.
No, this isn’t about me. It’s about Penny, and even though it’s painful to set aside my big pec paranoia, I’m not going to make this about me—offer me praise, everyone—and I’m going to let it go.
I pull out the three boxes from the bag—two cinnamon buns and an assorted fruit medley that will be plenty for us to share. In addition to what I ordered, I make myself a quick protein shake because even on my day off, I need to be smart about how I treat my body.
After scouring the cabinets for plates, cups, and silverware, I pull the food out of the boxes, arrange them on the plates, and then set everything on the table. I considered making Penny some sort of warm beverage, but I’m not sure what she likes or what she can have, so I can always make it when she comes out here.