She shakes her head. “No, take Holmes for instance. He is very humble and doesn’t parade around like a buffoon searching for compliments, and he’s one of the best in the league. Some might say he’s paving his way to the Hall of Fame.”
I’d be shocked if Holmes wasn’t considered for the Hall of Fame whenever he retires. He has a while until that happens, but it just goes to show how great he is.
“You think I act like a buffoon?”
She smirks. “Sometimes.”
“Yeah, well . . . you slept with me.”
That makes her laugh out loud. “That’s the best comeback you can muster?”
“Unfortunately, it is. My brain is only partially functioning at night.”
“Well”—she tucks a strand of hair behind her ear—“that would explain all the late-night hookups.”
“Haven’t had one since you,” I admit, which of course wins her undivided attention.
“You haven’t had sex since the night we were together?” she asks in such a stunned tone that I almost find it mildly insulting.
“I haven’t.”
“Seriously? Wow, I mean, I’ve hooked up with at least eight guys since then, all of them far more endowed than you.”
“Is that so?” I ask. “And when you say you’ve hooked up with eight guys, do you mean eight flag poles? Because that’s the only thing bigger than me.”
She howls out with laughter and shakes her head. “Guys are so predictable. You mention penis size once and they claim they have the biggest penis in the hemisphere.”
“What can I say, I’m not all that different from the rest, other than my obvious good looks, addicting charm, and killer skills on the ice.”
“To name a few.” She scratches the side of her nose. “We all know what you’re good at, so why don’t you tell me something you’re not good at, or something you’re insecure about?”
“If you’re looking for a flaw, you’re going to need a magnifying glass, because you won’t find one without.”
She makes a gagging noise. “If you need help, I’m more than happy to offer my opinion.”
“Oh, you think I have flaws? Please, delight me with what’s wrong on my person.”
“Are you sure? I don’t think you’ll be able to handle the truth.”
“Try me,” I challenge her.
“Okay, well, besides the snoring . . .” I roll my eyes and she giggles. “I’d have to say your strength in skating backward is average at best.”
“Excuse me?” I say, sitting up on my elbow so I can look down at her. “Okay, I thought you were going to say something like I make weird noises when I eat, but you’re going to lie there and insult my skating?”
“I warned you.” Her smile stretches across her face. It’s adorable. It’s refreshing. It makes me believe that we’re going to be just fine. That we could very much be good friends.
“There’s no way I believe you, not unless you have concrete evidence. I fell for the snoring, but I’m not going to believe you when it comes to my skating.”
“You do realize I grew up helping Pacey get to where he is, right? I spent many weekends out in the driveway shooting slapshot after slapshot at him until it was too dark to see anymore. I’ve also dated a few hockey players in the past, not to mention I’m an avid fan. I wouldn’t second-guess my knowledge. I know a lot more than you probably think.”
Uh . . . now I’m starting to think she’s actually serious.
Quietly, as if I say it too loud, the hockey gods might hear me, I say, “Wait, are you being serious? You really think my skating needs work?” When she just gives me a slight shrug, panic swirls in my chest. “Is it my weak calves? I fucking try to build them up as much as I can, but I can’t seem to make much of a dent without causing issues with my ankles. Do you think that’s it? Fucking weak-as-shit calves.”
She slowly brings the blanket up to her mouth, covering it from view. Why is she blocking her mouth? Why are her shoulders slightly shaking? Wait . . . is that a smile I see?
I tear the blanket away from her mouth to see a grin spread so far over her face that I actually gasp. I gasp way too loud, as if I just caught my lover cheating on me. But instead of a lover, it’s a new friend trying to shit on my hockey skills.
“I swear to God, woman, if you’re joking, I’m going to make sure your life is a living hell.”