‘Hello,’ the little girl says.
Cibi takes a step towards her, aware of the SS officers lingering close by.
‘Hello,’ Cibi says, hesitantly. ‘My name is Cibi. Do you have a name?’
‘Irinka.’
‘That’s a beautiful name, and you’re a beautiful little girl.’
Irinka smiles shyly and opens her mouth to say more, when a nurse approaches. ‘There you are. Come along now, Irinka. You know you’re not meant to be outside.’ The woman’s tone is sickly sweet.
‘Bye, Cibi,’ the little girl says, taking the nurse’s hand.
Cibi’s stomach turns as she watches the little girl disappear through the hospital doors. The fresh air feels cloying suddenly, the sun a furnace. Cibi hurries back inside the post office, where Volkenrath is patrolling the room. Cibi can see she is in a good mood.
‘What’s going on with the children in the hospital?’ Cibi asks, nonchalantly, as she pulls a stack of letters towards her. She begins to open them methodically, noting down the names and addresses of the would-be recipients.
‘If they’re in the hospital, then they must be sick,’ Volkenrath replies.
‘They don’t look sick, or act sick,’ says Cibi, lightly.
‘Well, they are. I’ve been on the wards and they are all in bed – some of them are definitely receiving treatment.’
Cibi nods, acknowledging she won’t get anything more out of Volkenrath. Maybe it’s better not to know. Maybe it’s better they’re in the hospital: most of the children arriving in Birkenau these days are sent to the gas chamber immediately.
‘Can I tell you something?’ Volkenrath moves closer and Cibi’s skin crawls.
‘Heinz and I want to have a baby,’ begins Volkenrath, in a low voice. ‘That’s why he’s always here. I cuddled some of the younger ones next door, and there was this one little girl – she can’t have been Jewish, she had beautiful blonde hair – do you know what she asked me?’
Cibi shakes her head slowly.
‘She asked me if I had an egg. She wanted to eat an egg. That’s strange, isn’t it?’ Volkenrath’s voice is wistful and Cibi finds this intimacy disturbing.
A few days later Cibi unpacks a box of food and finds a hardboiled egg. She thinks of the girl who wanted an egg and takes it into Volkenrath’s office. ‘Look what I found,’ she says.
Volkenrath doesn’t look up. ‘What?’
‘It’s a hardboiled egg. You said there was a little girl .?.?.’
Volkenrath is out of her chair in seconds, holding out her hand for the egg. ‘Thank you, I’ll take it to her straight away.’
A short while later, Volkenrath storms back into the post office and heads straight for her room, slamming the door behind her.
The girls glance nervously at one another. Cibi takes a deep breath and decides to find out what has happened. She opens the office door very slowly and peers inside. Volkenrath is sobbing, her head on the desk.
Cibi enters the room and pulls the door closed behind her. ‘Are you OK?’ she asks hesitantly.
The officer sniffs loudly and looks at Cibi. Her blue eyes are red and her cheeks bright pink. Strands of blonde hair have escaped their braid and stick to her face in damp clumps.
‘No,’ she says. ‘I’m not OK.’
‘Was she not there?’ Cibi asks with genuine compassion.
‘She was there. I found her and handed her the egg.’
‘So that’s good. Isn’t it?’
‘She started screaming and wouldn’t take the egg. Then she ran away and hid behind one of the nurses. She wouldn’t even look at me.’ Volkenrath begins to cry again.
‘Oh .?.?.’ Cibi feels somehow responsible and suddenly very anxious. ‘I’m really sorry. I shouldn’t have given it to you.’
‘It’s not your fault. Now leave me alone.’ The officer turns away from Cibi, wiping her eyes with her fingers.
Cibi shuts the door behind her and turns to face her watchful co-workers, all of them waiting for an explanation. ‘You know she wants a baby. I think she gets upset when she sees the little ones,’ Cibi offers.
She waits all morning for her punishment, but none comes. Volkenrath appears a little later, her usual grim smile back on her face.
‘Have you heard?’ Rosie whispers, later that same day. The girls in the post office mostly work in silence, opening boxes, sorting contents, setting aside items of value. Cibi can lose herself in these tasks; she can almost forget where she is at times.