‘I will be moving to Auschwitz,’ Volkenrath tells her one morning. ‘To run the post office. Would you like to come too?’
‘Why not?’ replies Cibi, with a sarcastic smile. ‘You know what they say about a change being as good as a rest.’
‘Very good. I will sort it out.’
That night, Cibi tells Livi she has put both their names on a list to return to Auschwitz, where they will work in the post office.
The next morning, Cibi is more alert than Livi has seen her in weeks. ‘We’re not going to Auschwitz,’ Cibi announces.
‘Why not?’ Livi asks, sleepily.
‘Last night Mumma came to me in my dreams. She told me to stay in Birkenau.’
‘It was just a dream, Cibi! I want to go to Auschwitz! I want to work in the post office. I hate being a messenger. Don’t you know what it’s like to see the trains every day? Watch them send everyone to the crematoria? Please, Cibi, please can we go to Auschwitz?’ Livi pleads.
‘No.’ Cibi is firm. ‘I have to find a way to take our name off the list.’
‘Because you had a dream about Mumma?’
‘Yes.’
‘But what about me, Cibi?’ Livi is furious. ‘I’m not a dream, I’m real!’
‘You have to trust me; we must stay here. I don’t know why but we must.’
The fire has gone out of Livi’s eyes and now she just looks miserable. ‘I am only here because you have kept me alive, Cibi. I wouldn’t have survived without you.’ She looks at her boots. ‘If you say we should stay, then I guess we should.’
Cibi clutches Livi’s face in her hands. ‘How many times do I have to tell you, you’re stronger than you think. It’s your strength that keeps me going.’
‘How did Mumma look when you saw her in your dream?’ Livi suddenly seems very young to Cibi.
‘She looked happy, kitten. I could smell her perfume. She was playing with her wedding ring. You know how she was always twisting it on her finger? She said it made her feel like Father was still with us.’
‘We’ll stay here then, Cibi, don’t worry. Mumma is always right.’
*
Three days later, it is Livi’s turn to wake Cibi. Cibi has been more like herself in the days since she dreamed of Mumma, and Livi is relieved.
‘Happy Birthday, Cibi,’ she whispers.
‘How do you know it’s my birthday?’ Cibi says, sitting up.
‘Two days ago, I saw a calendar on one of the Nazi’s desks, so I asked him what the date was, and then I worked out that today is your birthday.’
‘Thanks, Livi.’ Cibi gives her a tired smile. ‘I guess we can celebrate the fact that I’ve survived to see another birthday.’
‘Do you want to make a wish?’
‘Not really.’ Cibi grins at her sister. ‘Every single wish I’ve made over the last couple of years has bitten me.’ She waves a hand around the room. ‘We still wake up every morning in this place.’
Livi nods her head slowly. ‘Well, maybe you can tell Volkenrath it’s your birthday and she’ll let you have some food from one of the parcels.’
‘I don’t think she’ll care too much that it’s my birthday.’
‘OK, then. All you’re going to get is a “happy birthday” from me. Happy birthday, Cibi.’
Cibi hugs her little sister for a long time. ‘Am I really twenty-one?’ she whispers into Livi’s ear.
‘My big sister is twenty-one.’
‘Wow.’
*
As Cibi heads towards the post office, Leah hurries up to her. Leah is from a different block, but Cibi knows her from Vranov. She was transported to Auschwitz a few months after Cibi and Livi arrived. Cibi knows Leah works in the crematoria, although they have never discussed exactly what she does there.
‘Cibi, wait. I’ve been looking for you. I’ve got something to tell you.’ Leah is breathless, excited, bursting with her news.
‘Tell me.’ Cibi’s heart constricts.
‘It’s Magda! I saw Magda!’ she says, grinning.
Cibi freezes.
‘I’m telling you, it was Magda. I’m sure of it.’
Cibi swallows hard, heat fills her face and for a moment, her vision swims. She grabs Leah by the arms and shakes her. ‘Why didn’t you tell me sooner?’ Cibi yells at her. ‘Tell me where you saw her!’
‘Let go of me, Cibi.’ Leah shakes herself free and rubs her arms. ‘I told you, I’ve been looking for you. I saw her three days ago.’