“You’ve been having lots and lots of sex,” she finishes for me, her words crystalizing.
“Yeah, and we ditched my therapist’s suggested rules.”
Her mouth falls. “You did not.”
“They were suggestions,” I emphasize this part.
“Did you tell Dr. Banning? Did you let her in on what you’ve been doing or have you and Loren kept this from everyone?” Well Daisy knows…but I don’t throw my youngest sister under the bus. Her loyalty must be rewarded.
“It’s our sex life,” I say softly. “We thought we had it under control.”
“Now you’re pregnant,” she snaps. “How is that under control?”
Tears start to brim, and I wipe them quickly. “The test could be wrong…”
When she sees my tears, she rolls her eyes but stops attacking with every weapon in her arsenal. “How much is a lot?” she asks, planting her hands on her hips.
“I don’t know…” I blink, trying to recall the amount. “Maybe two times, three, sometimes four.”
“Every day?” The word is laced with acid.
My answer won’t bring kind sentiments and good cheer, so my lips stay closed. I just nod.
“For two years, Lily?” She looks like she’s going to cry. Maybe because I never trusted her with this information.
“I’m sorry,” I whisper. “It was working…” Until now. I can’t touch my abdomen. Is there really something in there?
“I’m surprised you haven’t been pregnant ten times already.”
“The test could be wrong,” I exclaim, sticking to this one bit of hope. How can I tell Lo? It will send him off a cliff that I’ve been trying to draw him away from for months.
“I’ll schedule an appointment for you so we’ll know for sure,” she says.
I nod, and my gaze drifts to the counter where her test lies. She is fixed to the floor, too scared to confront her own fate. So I do it for her, approaching the pregnancy stick.
Two lines.
Just like mine.
I shake my head, a weight lifting off my chest at a single thought. “These tests have to be broken, Rose. What’s the probability that we both got pregnant at the same time?” It’s all wrong. We’re okay.
“Not impossible, obviously,” she says, her body rigid like a board. “I’ll schedule an appointment for me too.”
I blow out another breath, this time it quakes my chin. “I can’t tell Lo,” I realize. Even if it’s true, I don’t know if I can tell him right away either. It’ll crush him so much. I don’t want to cause him any pain.
“I know,” she says. “I’m not telling Connor.”
My mouth falls. “Why?” He wants children. They’ve been married for a little over a year, and they’ve withstood a lot together, with no signs of parting. They channel power from the universe that only nerd stars can access. I’m sure of it.
The galaxy is on their side.
“He’ll be happy.” She says the word like it’s disgusting. “And I want to process the awfulness of this situation for as long as possible without him gloating and grinning.” She raises her chin like a declaration. “If he’s truly as smart as he claims to be, he’ll figure it out on his own.”
I wonder if she really just wants to pretend like it’s not happening for a while. It’s weird, but Connor will probably like the challenge. Then again, maybe it isn’t so weird. He’s Connor Cobalt.
She appraises my mental state for a second, returning her worries back to me. “We’ll help each other,” she says. “And we won’t tell anyone else until you’re ready to tell Lo.”
“If I’m pregnant,” I say, but the waterworks have already begun again. Rose is usually right. She’s the smart one, so the fact that she’s not even considering an inaccuracy in the test—it makes it more real than I want it to be.
She rips off a piece of toilet paper and hands it to me.
I dry my eyes, realizing that if we’re going to have any chance at hiding this, I can’t leave the bathroom distressed and upset. I sniff.
“I’m here for you,” she says in that icy, Rose Calloway voice. Strangely, it’s become more than comforting. “We won’t let each other down.”
I nod. In the end, I have to do what’s best for Lo. Even if it hurts.
{ 50 }
2 years : 01 month
September