“I don’t know,” I admit. It feels weird.
“Well…I don’t like it.”
I glare at the phone. “Good because it’s not happening again.”
“Thanks,” she says. I can’t tell if it’s for the advice or for my last statement. “He’s walking over here…I’ll call you later ton—”
“Tomorrow,” I force.
“Right,” she says distractedly. And then she hangs up first.
I slide Lily’s flip phone down the counter, to the coffee pot, away from us. “No more sisterly or brotherly interruptions.” I announce this as a fucking rule. Ryke has called three times tonight to ask how I’m doing. I spent last New Year’s Eve in rehab. It’s not like I’m going to grab a bottle of champagne because the day of the year tells me to.
“Do you remember before we were together?” Lily asks as I unbutton her jeans.
I freeze. “You mean when I was piss drunk?”
“No, I mean…yes, but that’s not what I meant.” Her skin blotches with dark red patches.
I lace my hand with hers. “I’m listening.”
Her shoulders rise with confidence as she speaks. “You used to do this with me all the time,” she says. “Pin me in the kitchen, toy with me…” She smiles at the memories. “I liked it, even when we weren’t together. But this is rare now.” Her eyes dance around our bodies. “I just wondered if you’re afraid of teasing me.”
I lift her chin so her gaze meets mine. “If I was afraid, I wouldn’t be doing it tonight.”
“But we’re going to have sex,” she says.
“Yeah?” I frown, not understanding what she’s getting at.
“So you won’t flirt with me unless we can have sex. Because you’re afraid of me.”
I glare. “Can you stop saying that? I’m not fucking scared of you, Lil.”
“Then you’re afraid of enabling me.”
I shake my head. All I’ve wanted is to be with her completely, fully, without compromise. But maybe there’s a signal in my brain that says: Don’t touch her like that. Don’t make her hornier than she is. Don’t tempt her. Not unless she can have something more afterwards. “Can you handle me?” I ask lowly.
“I want to start trying,” she says, her chest elevating at the proclamation. “I want to have everything we had without all the bad.”
I’ve never been more in love with her. “I’m going to trust you to stop on your own then.”
She nods repeatedly. “I will. I can. I know I can.”
“Yeah?”
She smiles. I kiss her deeply, her body pulling towards mine with the embrace, and I pin our clasped hand to the cupboard above her head.
As she catches her breath, my forehead rests against hers. Softly, I whisper, “I believe in you, love.” This is a goal I’ve never heard her make. It’s one I’ll entertain and help her reach.
But tonight—I want to fit perfectly against her with no room for hesitation or fears. I slip the jeans off her legs and step out of mine.
She slides her hands underneath my shirt with a heady gaze. “Can I take your shirt off?”
“You don’t have to ask,” I say.
Her lips curve up, and she hungrily raises the fabric over my head. Her fingers comb through my brown hair. “Closer,” she whispers.
I grab her legs and yank her towards me, my cock between her legs. The fabric of our underwear is in the way. She holds onto my bare shoulders like I’ve already started driving into her. This is the only time that I’m glad she bites her nails. Otherwise, she would draw blood.
She clings to me so tightly that I have no chance of removing her V-neck shirt unless I ask. I’d rather keep her in my arms, like this, than have her completely naked.
Lily rests her cheek on my chest and whispers, “Closer.”
I suck on the base of her neck, and she whimpers and gasps at once. Her ass barely rests on the counter. I support most of her weight with my body. If someone wanted to tear us apart, they’d have to claw her off of me.
I grin as I kiss her lips. Heat gathers between us. The nerve-splitting sensations start before I even push in.
“Closer,” is all she can say.
Almost.
I take off my boxer-briefs and slip off her panties. Her need is apparent when I distance our bodies. She squirms like she hates the empty air.
Her arms hook underneath mine, and her beautiful green eyes remain fixed on my amber irises. Overwhelmed. Both of us.