“It must have carried the trap with it.”
“Just use your nose,” Connor says. “Dogs have the best sense of smell.”
I actually laugh.
“Fuck off,” Ryke retorts.
I’m pretty sure that Ryke can handle Connor’s digs. Even when Connor pisses him off, it seems like the comments never really eat at him. Ryke is the strongest person I’ve ever met. Stronger than me.
It’s why Connor taunts Ryke and praises me.
I don’t know if Ryke realizes it or if Connor recognizes how well I understand his relationship with me. But I see how Connor spends his time trying to build me up—so I believe that I’m just as worthy as my brother.
I’m not. I won’t ever be as good as him, but it’s nice to have a friend try to remind me of it.
Connor pulls his phone out of his pocket and starts texting. Less than a minute later, he asks, “Is Lily having more sex than usual?”
I stiffen. Keeping a secret from a guy ten times more intelligent than me is hard. But not impossible. I spent three years pretending to be in a relationship with Lily. I’ve got this.
“She’s not having it, but she wants it.” I fist the black trash bag and rise, my legs aching in this position. “This whole fucking reality show puts her on edge.” It’s the truth, but we’re fucking a lot more than people would like. Most of the time, we screw in her car, away from cameras and thin walls where people can overhear. I layer on everything he’ll expect, “And she medicates her anxiety with sex, which means I’m not getting laid for the next week, and she only gets my fingers.”
I find the nearest camera, hanging on a ceiling rafter, and I wave my fingers. And wink, just for further effect. Maybe it’ll distract Connor.
The cameramen are on lunch break, so fixed cameras are the only thing shooting us.
“So you’re not having sex?” he asks.
I can’t read the tone of his voice at all. I fucking hope I’m selling this well enough.
The longer he stares at me, the more I realize I may have overestimated my ability to lie to him.
Heat gathers on my forehead. I rub the back of my neck as I weigh the options in my head. I have to partially come clean. “No, I mean…” Just go with it. “We fucked the other day. She was a little compulsive afterwards, so I want her to abstain for three or four days and see how she does with that.”
She wasn’t that compulsive. She stopped herself from continuing past her limits, and there’s absolutely no goddamn way we’re abstaining. But I think it’ll appease him to hear a plan.
Not too long ago, I even asked him to keep an eye on us—to make sure we were keeping to a twenty-four-hour schedule. Sex every night, nowhere in between.
“And you used condoms?” he asks.
My lips part in shock, not expecting this. My stomach flips, and I slam my fist on the wall. “Ryke, hurry the fuck up.” I don’t want to share all the details of my sex life. Connor barely shares his. I need to keep something private, for fuck’s sake.
“Lo,” he says.
I spin to him, my eyes flashing hot. “This conversation is over.”
“I’m trying to imagine what Lily will look like pregnant.” His tone is conversational, not spiteful. “Would her entire body swell or just her belly?”
My chest rises with irritation and with something so dark. I’m selfish. But I don’t ever want to be that kind of selfish—to have a kid, knowing he or she could be plagued with this lifelong struggle.
“At least I’m getting laid,” I say, my voice like razors that physically pains me. But I keep going. “How long have you been fucking your hand?”
“My hand and I go way back,” he says easily, a warm smile attached.
My muscles loosen. It’s a mystery why people keep me as a friend.
“I’m not your brother.” Connor nods to the crawl space. Ryke is still searching for the traps. “I’m not going to curse you out for doing something stupid. But I am dating your girlfriend’s older sister, so my own balls are on the line here.”
Right. I nod. “The repercussions of getting into bed with a she-devil.”
“And I fucking like her,” he says, “so make my life easier and use a condom.”
I completely relax. I can imagine how annoying it must be having Rose in his ear all day. I contemplate whether or not Lily and I have been safe. I think we have. She’s on birth control. I mutter, “I’ll be better about it.”