Connor pours coffee into his mug. “I’ve tried talking to Rose, but she believes that Lily needs to work this out on her own.” He waits for me to add something, and I realize that he brought me down here to see where Lily’s head was at. Maybe to gauge how long this tension will last.
“I think Lil just needs some time,” I say, not sure how much time. “She’s going to her therapist every other day now.”
Connor sips coffee from his mug, and I notice his ring on his left hand. Lily and I discussed our living situation with Rose and Connor after their wedding, and it lasted about two minutes. They don’t feel comfortable moving out, even though they both should be closer to Philly. Their work is there, like Cobalt Inc.
Connor stopped pursuing his MBA so he could take over as CEO. The only tie they have to Princeton is Lil, who’s still in college.
Since the paparazzi have increased exponentially after the reality show and now Rose’s sex scandal, they both said: “it’s best if the four of us still live together.” A united front—or whatever. I didn’t refute. Because even though it’s harder with them here, I like having Connor around for advice. And Lily needs her sister.
He rests against the center island, facing me, and he stares at his mug with a lost look in his eyes, one I don’t see often from him.
“What is it?” I ask.
“My mother is dying,” he says out loud. “She’ll be gone within the week. Breast cancer.”
My jaw slowly drops. I can count on my hand the number of times he’s mentioned his mom. She stepped down from her position as CEO of Cobalt Inc. a few days ago. Now I know why. “I’m sorry,” I say, my brows bunched in confusion and a bit of hurt for him.
I can’t read his expression. He’s not letting anything pass through his features for me to hold onto. All I see is a blank surface, my own emotions ricocheting back at me.
“Don’t be,” he tells me. “She wouldn’t want your apology.”
“She sounds…”
“Cold,” he finishes.
“I was going to say like Rose, no offense.”
His deep blue eyes rise to mine. “They’re not alike. Katarina doesn’t have the capacity to love someone other than herself. If anything, she’s more like me.”
“Was…like you,” I say. He’s finally admitted to loving Rose.
He smiles. “Love still seems like an irrational concept to me.” He pauses. “But in believing in it, I’ve become like everyone else.”
“Are you okay with that?”
“More than okay,” he admits.
I nod, happy that he’s not such a cynic on a matter that seems obvious to the rest of us. “Are you going to the funeral?” I scratch the back of my neck. “I mean, when it happens…” I cringe. Everything sounds wrong. Is there even a right way to talk about someone’s mother dying?
“She doesn’t want one.”
I open my mouth to ask why, but he cuts me off.
“She doesn’t want people from Cobalt Inc. to waste their time mourning a corpse when they should be working. Her words.”
Ouch. I change the topic as soon as I see stress tightening his shoulders. “How’s the lawsuit?” I ask. They’ve been trying to take Scott Van Wright to trial for weeks, or at least come to a settlement out of court. A whole team of lawyers gathered evidence while they were on their honeymoon.
“It’s complicated,” he tells me. “The videos are already online. Winning the lawsuit won’t win us back our privacy. It may destroy Scott, but it doesn’t gain me anything.” He sets his mug on the counter. “I’ve never had to use so much energy on an outcome that has no direct benefit for me.”
I frown. “The benefit is watching that douchebag burn.”
He lets out a short laugh and rubs his lips. When he drops his hand, he says, “Revenge isn’t a benefit, Lo. It’s self-gratification, an emotional response with very little logic and even less reward.” He exhales and shakes his head. I’ve never seen him this conflicted. “I’ll figure it out. I always do.” He flashes his billion-dollar smile, reminding me in one single second how different we truly are.
And how grateful I am to have him as a friend. And a roommate.
{ 39 }
1 year : 01 month
September
LILY CALLOWAY
“Should we walk?” I ask my bodyguard, whose mammoth body occupies two cushions on the couch. Garth reads a gardening magazine （I don’t question it） in the break room of Superheroes & Scones. “Or maybe we should drive? Have you seen the crowds outside? Are they big?”