The silence is too uncomfortable, so I get dressed as quickly as I can. I stand up and wince.
“Are you okay?”
I nod my head. Ares’s eyes land on the couch behind me and I follow his gaze. There’s a small but noticeable bloodstain. Ares seems to pick up on my embarrassment.
“Don’t worry, I’ll have it washed.”
I twist my hands in front of me. “I-I should go.”
He doesn’t object; he doesn’t say “don’t go” or “why are you leaving?” He doesn’t say anything at all, so I start walking toward the door. My heart is in my throat, and I feel like crying, but I won’t let the tears form in my eyes. I grab the doorknob, and he suddenly speaks.
“Wait!”
Hope kindles in me, but it shatters right away when I see him walking toward me with the phone box in his hand.
“Please accept it.”
And that gesture makes me feel even worse, like he’s paying me back for what just happened. Unruly tears fill my eyes, and I can’t speak. I open the door and hurry out.
“Raquel! Hey! Don’t go like that! Raquel!” I hear him shouting behind me.
Before I know it, I’m running to the exit. I bump into the redheaded girl again, but I ignore her and continue on my way.
Out on the street, tears run down my cheeks. I know I’m responsible for what just happened. He didn’t make me do it, but that doesn’t make me feel any better.
I always thought that my first time would be magical, a special moment, that the guy I was with would value and appreciate it, that he would at least have feelings for me. The sex was wonderful and increased my feelings for Ares, but this meant nothing to him. It was just sex.
And he warned me, he told me clearly what he wanted, but I was stupid and gave him what was most precious to me. I keep running until my lungs burn. When I get home, I throw myself on my bed and cry inconsolably.
SEVENTEEN
The Message
“Nutella?”
“No.”
“Strawberries with cream?”
I shake my head. “No.”
“Ice cream?”
“No.”
“I know, how about all of them? Ice cream, strawberries, and Nutella?”
I just shake my head again, and Yoshi adjusts his glasses.
“I give up.”
We’re alone in an empty classroom. The last class just ended, and Yoshi is trying to cheer me up. It’s Friday, and I’ve spent the week dragging myself around school. I haven’t had the courage to tell anyone what happened, not even Dani. I’m so disappointed in myself. I don’t think I’m capable of talking about it yet.
“Come on, Rochi. Whatever happened, don’t let it bring you down. Fight,” he advises me, caressing my cheek.
“I don’t want to.”
“Let’s go get some ice cream. Give it a try, okay?” His pretty eyes plead with me from behind his glasses, and I can’t say no to him. He’s right. I can’t do anything to turn back time.
Yoshi extends his hand to me. “Shall we go?”
I smile at him and take his hand. “Let’s go.”
We buy ice cream and sit in the town square. It’s a beautiful day. Even though it’s after four o’clock, the sun is still shining as if it were noon.
“Remember when we used to come here every afternoon after elementary school?” Yoshi asks.
I smile at the memory. “Yeah, we became friends with the lady who sold candy.”
“And she gave us free ones.”
I laugh, remembering our cheeks filled with sweets. Yoshi laughs with me.
“That’s the way I like it. You look prettier smiling.”
I raise an eyebrow. “Are you admitting that I’m pretty?”
“More or less, maybe with a few drinks in me I would try to win you over.”
“Only with a few drinks? Nah!”
“What about Dani? I haven’t seen her at school,” he says as he eats a spoonful of ice cream.
“That’s because she’s missed two days. She’s helping her mother with a project at the agency.”
Dani’s mom runs a very prestigious modeling agency. She’s a total badass. She started her own business when Dani was a kid, and it has only grown since. Now her modeling agency is one of the most important in the state. Dani’s dad on the other hand is more of a relaxed and go-with-the-flow type. He’s a college professor in the art department at a nearby community college. I feel like Dani got a good combination of both her parents’ personalities. She’s fierce like her mom, but also empathetic and relaxed like her father.