“I don’t think you should do anything unless you know you want more. Maya’s the sweetest. She doesn’t need someone who isn’t willing to go all the way. Like make sacrifices for her.”
My fists tighten in front of me. “I can try. I never even wanted this before. But seeing her all the time, from far away, I feel terrible. I struggle to not go up and talk to her, or even kiss her. I want a chance. But I need your help.” I glance at Sophie.
She looks at me with a genuine smile and warm eyes, the opposite of how she was when the conversation began. “Share with me what you have planned. I’ll see what I can do on my end.”
I’m nervous because I don’t know if Sophie will hold up her end of the deal. Hell, she concocted half of the plan after she deemed my original one unfit. Once I told her I seriously wanted to date Maya, Sophie became a lot more willing to help, coming up with a few ideas she thinks Maya would like. She nixed my original plan to show up at the Prix after-party, telling me Maya doesn’t function well past 12 a.m. Lucky for me, Singapore Prix weekend includes events until the following Monday because they love to party over here.
I sit at an empty table at an exclusive restaurant. Sophie secured a private room that will force Maya to give me her undivided attention for at least an hour, but I hope for more if I buy a good bottle of wine. Because who can resist that? My fingers tap against the table, a nervous tick I picked up from the fidgeter herself.
Finally, after what feels like forever, someone knocks on the door.
“Okay, you guys. This is the strangest dinner plan ever—” Her voice cuts off when her eyes land on me sitting alone.
Her eyes widen while her mouth drops open. She’s dressed up in a sexy black cocktail dress with her dark hair flowing around her face in waves, adding to her gorgeousness. I take a deep breath to settle my own nerves.
I stand and walk up to her slowly to prevent her from fleeing.
“What’s going on?” Her eyes dart around the room, taking in the two seats, before they land on me.
“Let me explain over dinner.” My hand clutches hers as I walk her toward the chair across from mine, hoping she decides to stay. I pull out her seat and usher her into it. A compliant Maya may be my favorite version of her.
“I’m confused. I’m guessing Sophie is in on this plan?” She lets out an adorable soft curse under her breath.
“Correct. Let’s order a drink first because we both can use one.”
We get situated and order our food right away at Maya’s persistence. I take her biting on her lip as a guilty yes that she wants to leave as soon as possible.
I sigh before speaking. “I had two months to get you out of my system. And trust me, I tried.”
She flinches at my words.
Fuck, come on. I suck at expressing myself. “Not like that. I mean, I had to sit with my own decisions.”
She relaxes in her chair. I take another deep breath, calming my nerves. Think before you speak.
“I thought it would get easier with time. But you avoided me, which sucked. I went from seeing you every day, and talking to you and spending time together, to nothing.”
“I wasn’t trying to ignore you.” Her eyes flick across the room.
I give her a pointed look.
“Okay, fine. I was trying to a teensy bit. I told you what I wanted, and you rejected me. I can’t expect you to change any more than I expect myself to. It’s not fair to either one of us.”
“Well, I have changed, and I want to try to give you what you want. Spending all that time alone, I realized I want what you want. To spend time with you before and after races, like going on dates, hanging out at events, being lazy in bed together after mind-blowing sex. Give me all the strings attached.” The thought of rejection makes my stomach drop.
Her eyebrows dart up. “How do I know you won’t back out the moment you get scared?”
I don’t blame her for being skeptical when I haven’t exactly proven myself yet. “You don’t. And I don’t either. But it’s what I can give you for now. The real question is are you willing to take it?”
She can back out at any moment. I can tell she thinks hard about it by the way she works her bottom lip between her teeth.
She looks down at her hands. “I guess we can give it a try. What changed your mind?” Something warm spreads through my chest, eating away at the uncertainty and nervousness from before. Her agreement is all I need.
I lift her chin up, craving eye contact. “I mean it when I say I spent a lot of time alone. I reflected on what was stopping me from trying this out with you. Our chemistry is—” her lips capture my attention—“explosive. But I also know there’s more. I like being around you, especially when you give me all your attention. I like when you film me without asking because you’re afraid of me saying no, even though you can get me to agree to anything. I love the way you laugh almost as much as the way you find your shoes interesting when you get nervous. I really like the special noises you save just for me when I kiss you, or the smiles you give me when no one is looking. I’m serious about trying it all with you. No holding back. I even met with someone to talk about my own issues and reservations, because when I do something, I go all in.” Clearly came down with a severe case of word vomit.