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Tomorrow, and Tomorrow, and Tomorrow(25)

Author:Gabrielle Zevin

Though it took Sadie years to admit this to Sam, Marx did prove incredibly useful that summer. No, Marx wasn’t a game designer. He wasn’t an ace programmer, like Sadie, and he couldn’t draw, like Sam. But he did almost everything else for them, and his contributions ranged from the pedestrian, but necessary, to the creatively essential. Marx organized workflow, so Sadie and Sam were more aware of what the other was doing and what they needed to be doing. He made long lists of supplies they would need. He was more than liberal with his credit card—they always needed more memory and storage, and they were regularly burning out graphics cards—and he must have made fifty trips to the large computer store in Central Square that summer. He opened a bank account, and an LLC, Go, Ichigo, Go. He arranged for them to pay taxes (which saved them money in the short term by making their business purchases tax-free), and if, at some point, they needed to hire people, which he knew they would, he set them up for that, too. He made sure everyone ate, hydrated, and slept (at least a little), and he kept their workspaces clean and free of chaos. He was an experienced gamer, and as such, made an excellent level tester and bug spotter. Beyond all that, Marx also had taste and a sense of story. It was Marx who suggested the famous “underworld” sequence in Ichigo (“Ichigo needs to be as low as possible,” he said), and it was Marx who turned them on to Takashi Murakami and Tsuguharu Foujita. It was Marx, with his love of avant-garde instrumental music, who played Brian Eno, John Cage, Terry Riley, Miles Davis, and Philip Glass on his CD player while Sadie and Sam worked. It was Marx who suggested they reread The Odyssey and The Call of the Wild and Call It Courage. He also had them read the story structure book The Hero’s Journey, and a book about children and verbal development, The Language Instinct. He wanted the pre-verbal Ichigo to feel authentic, to have details that came from life. Marx saw Ichigo as a homecoming story, but also a language story. How do we communicate in a world when we don’t have language? This story compelled Marx, in part, because his mother had never fully spoken Japanese, and he believed that was why she had spent most of her adult life lonely and sometimes depressed. It was Marx who began to understand the game on a sales level, too. It is one thing to have made a great game, but there will inevitably come a time when someone needs to be able to articulate to other people why it’s a great game.

By the middle of August, Sadie and Sam had rough versions of six of Ichigo’s eventual fifteen levels, and this was, in large part, a result of Marx’s organization. In a way, Marx found producing for Sadie and Sam to be not entirely different from just being Sam’s roommate. Without calling a great deal of attention to himself, he made things easy for them. He fought fires. He anticipated needs and obstacles before they arose. That is what a producer does, and Marx would turn out to be a very fine producer.

But the best thing Marx did for them was this: He believed in them. He loved Ichigo. He loved Sam. He was growing to love Sadie, too.

“So, what’s the deal with you and Sadie?” Marx asked Sam on a sweltering night in early August. The air-conditioning had gone out in the apartment, which was already hot from the computer equipment they were running. To try to keep cool, Marx and Sam were wearing nothing but their boxer shorts and pressing cold bottles to their foreheads. It was rare that the three of them weren’t together, but on this night, Sadie had left the house to meet with a friend from high school who was in town and, possibly, to escape the heat of the computers for a while.

“She’s my best friend,” Sam said.

“Sure,” Marx said, “I get that. But is it, you know—I hope this isn’t weird that I’m asking this—is it romantic? Or has it ever been romantic?”

“No,” Sam said. “We’ve never…It’s more than romantic. It’s better than romance. It’s friendship.” Sam laughed. “Who cares about romance anyway?”

“Some people do,” Marx said. “I guess I’m asking because…well, would you mind if I ever asked her out?”

Sam laughed again. “Ask Sadie Green out? Go for it. I doubt she would say yes.”

“Why?” Marx said.

“Because…” She hates you, Sam wanted to say. Because she thinks you’re an idiot and she resents that you’re even here. “Because she knows you date a lot,” Sam said.

“How?”

“I mean, it’s not exactly a state secret. You’re always with someone, and never for more than two weeks. Actually, now that I’m thinking about it, I don’t think it’s a good idea if you ask Sadie out. Not because I feel that way toward her, but because we’re all colleagues, aren’t we? I don’t want anything to get in Ichigo’s way.”

“No, you’re right,” Marx said. “Forget I mentioned it.”

The “two weeks” figure Sam had given was an exaggeration—Marx’s usual relationship lasted around six. Marx was great at being in love, for a bit, and certainly, no one ever left a relationship with Marx feeling abused or hurt. He had the gift of letting people think it was their idea to end the relationship, thereby converting most of his ex-lovers into friends. It was only weeks, months, sometimes years later that Marx’s ex would think, “Hmm, I think Marx may have broken up with me.” That said, Marx could not set foot in Harvard Square without running into an ex, and usually, that person was happy to see him.

If Marx at twenty-two had a problem, it was that he was attracted to too many things and people. Marx’s favorite adjective was “interesting.” The world seemed filled with interesting books to read, interesting plays and movies to see, interesting games to play, interesting food to taste, and interesting people to have sex with and sometimes even to fall in love with. To Marx, it seemed foolish not to love as many things as you could. In the first months she knew him, Sadie disparaged Marx to Sam by calling him “the romantic dilettante.”

But for Marx, the world was like a breakfast at a five-star hotel in an Asian country—the abundance of it was almost overwhelming. Who wouldn’t want a pineapple smoothie, a roast pork bun, an omelet, pickled vegetables, sushi, and a green-tea-flavored croissant? They were all there for the taking and delicious, in their own way.

Among the many people who had dated Marx since he’d been at Harvard, it was said, sometimes bitterly, that the only real relationship Marx had was with Sam. Marx did love Sam, but he did not want to have sex with Sam. Sam felt like his baby brother. He would protect him to the death.

Sadie, however…Marx felt that she was another story. Sadie was like Sam, but she was not Sam, and this was deeply attractive to him. To Marx, there was something richer and more interesting and complicated about her than the people he typically dated. He was not foolish—he knew that she didn’t seem to like him—this was rare for Marx; everyone liked Marx!—but still, he wanted to know what it would be like if she did like him. He wanted her to talk to him the way she talked to Sam. Marx was a prodigious reader, and he felt like Sadie might be the kind of book that one could read many times, and always come away with something new. But Marx was attracted to so many people that when Sam told him not to pursue her, he didn’t take it especially hard.

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