I cringe and rub my hand over my eyes. Gryphon's eyes shifted the other morning when we had sex. I told him, but he said he didn’t feel anything… that nothing had changed in him. I think… I think maybe his bond took over for a second and then went back to sleep, maybe? It all happened so fast, and because he didn't feel anything and dismissed it, I didn't say anything. I'm sorry—
North cuts in before I can start rambling. It's not your fault, Oleander. None of this is your fault. As Nox said, he doesn't think that you're changing anyone, only that they're waking up.
I let out a breath, some guilt that I had been feeling melting away a little. It's a relief to know that I'm not doing something to my Bonded without their permission. Taking away options from them is unthinkable to me, and the idea of it sickens me.
When we finish eating, I help clear everything away and then strip off my weapons to attempt to get some sleep. Gryphon is still busy, his eyes staying that same brilliant white, and I don't really want to sleep while he’s up working.
North is immovable about forcing me to rest. “We have to be up in six hours for a debrief and final plans to move out. Get sleep while you can. Gryphon will be fine. He's trained for this.”
I find my sleeping bag has moved to be wedged between Atlas and Gabe’s. When I fuss about getting into something more comfortable to sleep in, North is quick to shut me down.
“I will get Gryphon to knock you out if I have to,” he says as he catches my arms and pulls me into his body for a tight hug. I lean forward to press my face against his chest, overwhelming my senses with him to try to block some of my anxiety out, anxiety over everything except the work we have to do tomorrow.
The work to deal with this camp and finally bring Silas Davies to his knees. It's been a long time coming, and that’s the one part of all of this I’m still eager for.
I lie down with Gabe and fail to sleep, lying there quietly so that no one calls me out on it. It takes until midnight for Gryphon to finish wiping the bad feelings out of the entire TacTeam personnel that we’ve brought with us.
Nox and North both decide against going to sleep themselves, instead they pore over one of the strategy maps that North brought from the command tent back to ours, and they murmur quietly between themselves.
No matter how much Gabe coaxes me, I can't go to sleep. Eventually, he tucks me into his arms as he tries to lull me into slumber. It takes a long time, thanks to the anticipation crawling under my skin, but with his arms around me, I fall asleep.
Atlas wakes up feeling better but still uneasy about the new abilities of his bond.
Gabe, Nox, and I stay in the tent with him to try to get a handle on it before he heads out with us for the afternoon debrief. North and Gryphon have made the call that we are moving out on our mission tomorrow morning, so we're running on limited time.
“We can't wait around here for much longer now that they've already made two moves against us. One of their Transporters came and saw the bodies. She transported a couple of pieces back to the camp, so it's only a matter of time before they start bringing in reinforcements.”
My stomach is a pile of knots at the thought of what reinforcements North might be talking about, but we always knew that this was going to happen. Right now, the only thing I can do is to help Atlas get control of the bond.
It's a bit of a steep ask, considering mine still does whatever the hell it wants.
“Well, what does yours feel like, Ardern? We already know that Oli's is stronger than any of the rest of ours. She's the Central Bond, and her god has been awake for years. How do you keep yours in line?” Atlas asks in frustration when he tries and fails for the third time to get his bond to even speak to him.
Gabe shrugs and scratches at the back of his head, looking awkward. “Mine doesn't really speak. It's more of a… feeling. The way you’d imagine an animal would be like inside their minds. The only time it ever really talks is to Oli, and that's just when it’s declaring its devotion to her.”
My cheeks heat a little and I grin at him, trying to find some lightheartedness in this moment.
I do have another perspective on the god bonds, but I don't want to discuss Nox's history with them, so I keep my mouth shut. Luckily, Nox is determined enough about wiping out the Resistance and figuring out what's going on within our Bonded Group that he's quick to offer his own perspectives. “Don't fight it. Fighting with your bond is only going to cause you years of misery like North's did. There's no way to get rid of it or force it into submission, so you need to learn how to work with it. It will always protect you, first and foremost.” He stops and tilts his head a little. “It'll protect Oleander first. Then you.”
Atlas stares at him for a second before he nods. “Well, I guess that's not a bad thing. I can definitely live with that. What do I do if we get there tomorrow and it doesn't come out to play and I'm just useless? I don’t really have time to make friends with it.”
Nox shrugs. “We never accounted for this ability in our plan, so it doesn't change anything. No one's expecting you to know how to control it or use this stronger Gift tomorrow. We haven't even factored Gabe’s dragon into the mix because it doesn't always play along.”
Gabe looks irritated at this, and I reach over to press my palm against his cheek. “My bond doesn't listen to me either, don't worry about it. The best I can ever hope for is that it will stick to killing the right people from now on.”
My throat closes up a little to even admit that much, and Gabe nuzzles into my palm a little before he turns back to Atlas. “I’m not worried about my dragon tomorrow. There's going to be so many of the Resistance running around everywhere that it's inevitable, I think. Your bond didn't even like the Resistance being that close to Oli when there was a shield in-between them. You really think it's going to allow her to walk into the camp without showing up to the fight? No chance.”
Atlas blinks at him for a second before he smiles, punching Gabe affectionately in the shoulder. “You're a lot smarter than any of us give you credit for, Ardern.”
Gabe smiles back at him. “It's not my fault that none of you can see past my pretty face.”
By the time we step out of our tent and head towards the command tent for the official debrief and communication on what tomorrow holds for us, Atlas is calmer and secure in his skin once more. It's a good thing, because everybody stares at us as we make our way over there.
Nox takes the lead and spends a lot of the walk staring people into submission. They scurry off like terrified little beings at the very sight of a grumpy Draven. It’s almost comical to watch fully grown men, armed to the teeth and trained to kill, turn on their heels and practically run away from him as though the hounds of hell are on their asses. The women are a little more staunch, most of them just gulp and avert their eyes.
He’s the perfect buffer between Atlas and the world.
If you had told me only a few weeks ago that this would be our reality, I would have laughed in your face, because Nox Draven has never liked Atlas. Even after Atlas had proven himself to the rest of the Bonded Group, Nox had refused to believe he would be anything other than loyal to his family.
The name ‘Bassinger’ was all that Nox needed to know about him to make that call.