6.
“Shadow Man”
KIMBERLY NOLAN:
There was someone standing outside our building, night after night, the later the better, holding down the buzzer for our flat. This piercing, mechanical noise, constantly going off at two or three or four in the morning. That went on for most of October. You’d answer, you’d ask who it was, and no one would say anything. It might stop a few seconds, maybe a few minutes, then start up again.
Looking back, there were so many warning signs we missed. Like how much Zoe said she was enjoying her classes, how much extra time she was spending on them—she’d leave for the day saying she was workshopping, showcasing, auditioning, taking extra lectures, you name it. Just doing so much more than the rest of us combined. Then there was how close she seemed with her tutor, Hannah Docherty. I’d never even heard of lecturers taking that kind of interest in students before. I thought, Maybe she really is special? Like, she must have had this incredible talent all along, and I’ve just been too jealous to see. I worried about that a lot. We’d been drifting apart for years, but it was so undeniable there. I suppose her disappearance felt like the logical conclusion to that.
And then there was Andrew.
We never really talked about him, but she must have noticed me backing away from her once they got together. I worried about the way I felt for him, I didn’t want to say or do anything stupid—I didn’t want to ruin things. And I was busy. Unlike Zoe, who could go out all night and still point to this acclaim and incredible attention she was getting from tutors, I really had to put my head down to get the work done.
Anyway, that’s all a long way of saying that, sifting through it all with hindsight, there was one thing, looking back, that I always felt sure about, and it was that buzzer going off in the night. It started after Zoe got with Andrew, although thinking about it, it never happened while he was around.
It was the last Sunday of October. I remember because I had to be up early on Monday morning, on Halloween, and it had gotten to the point where I was too annoyed to answer. The buzzer went, I got out of bed, opened the front door, went straight to the lift and pressed for ground. This is gone midnight and for once all the halls, the lift, everything, was deserted. I was shaking, wondering what the doors would open on to when I hit the ground floor, but it was just the empty lobby. The lights had gone out, which they always did, but there were lampposts outside, so I could see the shine across the battered plastic floor. I walked to the entrance and opened it and saw someone, just this shadow man, walking away. I shouted after him and he stopped and turned and looked at me. All I could see was the shape of him, but I knew he was looking right at me. It had been raining, and I had bare feet, so I didn’t go outside. After a few seconds, he just backed off into the dark and disappeared.
I’ve always been convinced that if I’d taken four or five steps into the light, I would have seen him, this man who went on to take Zoe. And I’ve always been convinced that I annoyed him, like, I pissed him off by going down there that night, because after that, all hell broke loose.
From: [email protected]
Sent: 2019-01-23 10:19
To: you
on Tue, Jan 22, 2019, Joseph Knox [email protected] wrote:
Hey, yes, I am still reading, but it’s definitely not me calling you at three in the morning （no matter how many stiff ones I might have had）。 Not enough hours in the day rn sorry.
And I think a lot of people feel that way about writing their second book. After the first, your talent’s just a rumor, then with the second you’ve got to find a way to try and prove it. From what I’ve read so far, you ARE proving it so keep going.
I’ve been through the stuff referring to the tower and the weird kind of presence in those rooms. I find it interesting that both Lois AND Harry mention their keys being stolen early on. Just read the Shadow Man chapter, which is v unsettling. Do you know who it was? Does she??
Maybe we should both unplug our phones tonight?
Jx
# # #
Hey—well thanks for that, Knoxy—sometimes I think the rumors of my talent have been greatly exaggerated.
Re: Shadow Man, no I don’t know who it was, Kim says she doesn’t know either, but just wait until you see what the mad fucker did next.
Ex
7.
“High Notes”
The below is an uncompleted, tampered-with assignment found on Zoe Nolan’s laptop on October 31, 2011:
I have always been fascinated by popular music and its culture from a young age. Although I would like to think my interest is natural I have also been encouraged by my family who are also musical. I have mostly been encouraged by my father, who was a professional musician himself for many years. I learned basic piano from him at a young age and was specially inclined to singing. I began to play the piano and sing at family gatherings, where I learned that I also enjoyed performance. This is because I believe that music is a “language” that exists to make people feel, and I enjoy watching these feelings take place as I perform.
Although I studied music at college and passed with a B+, I am less interested in theory than I am in practical music. I sing at a Grade 8 level and am now improving my piano skills, which are currently at a Grade 5 level. However, my main focus remains on performance. I have performed as part of choirs, ensembles, and rock groups. I have accepted many offers of paid singing work in and around my local area. I feel that this has given me good insight into life as a musician and
And…？
And what, Zoe? You never quite finished your thought.
There are too many pronouns here, sweetheart—I this, I that, I the other—although I can understand the urge. You’re Zoe Nolan, after all. I wonder if you realize quite how lucky that makes you? To look the way that you look and contain the gifts you contain. I’m inside your room as I write this, but I’d like to be so much closer to you than that, because I can never—I can never—get close enough. If I could, I’d be inside your brain, and I’d be inside your body. I want to see you throw that head back with your mouth wide open, I want to hear you really hit those high notes. Because if it were up to me, sweetheart, I’d be wearing you. I’d peel you from top to bottom with my shiny then stitch myself into your skin. I’d go out into the world with your face on over mine. I want to see out of your skull. There’s more but I think you might be coming. Well, you and me both, darling ;） xx