My stomach fluttered when Alex walked in with Rhys on his heels. He carried a distinctive black-and-white striped box.
“Cake?” Stella perked up. She’d warmed up to Alex over the past month after seeing he was “capable of human emotion after all.”
“Cupcakes,” Alex confirmed, setting the goodies on the table.
My friends dove for the box like treasure hunters diving for gold.
I smiled and tilted my head up so I could kiss him. “Thank you. You didn’t have to do that.”
“It’s just cupcakes.” He returned my kiss before sitting next to me and curling a protective arm around my waist. “Figured you could use the sugar rush.”
I peeled the wrapper away from my red velvet cupcake with a small frown. It would take a long time to get over what Michael did. I wasn’t sure I would ever get over what Michael did. My entire life was a lie. Sometimes, I’d lie awake at night, so anxious I couldn’t sleep or think straight. Other times, like now, I’d look around me and comfort myself with the knowledge that I would be all right. That old saying was true: what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. I’d almost died twice in my life—that I knew of—and I was still standing. I’d continue to stand tall, long after Michael rotted in jail.
Thanks to a nudge from Alex, who knew half the judges in this town, Michael was locked up with no bail until his court date. He’d sent a message asking me to see him, but I refused. I had nothing left to say to him. He’d shown me his real face, and I would be happy if I never saw it again for the rest of my life.
But yeah, sometimes a girl needed a cupcake or two to get her through the rainy days.
Part of me was grateful Michael and I had never been close. If we had, I wasn’t sure I’d be able to take the heartbreak. That was why I worried about Josh, who was his real son and who’d had a much closer relationship with him. But Josh insisted he was fine, and there was no arguing with him. He was even more stubborn than me.
We ate in silence for a while before Stella cleared her throat. “Um, thanks for the treat, but I should head out. I have a brand collab I need to shoot.”
“Me, too,” Bridget added, picking up on Stella’s cue. “I have a political theory paper to write.”
After Stella, Bridget, and Rhys beat a hasty retreat, Jules announced she had a date tonight and needed to get ready. She swept up the stairs, taking half the remaining cupcakes with her.
“You know how to clear a room,” I teased, running an absentminded hand down Alex’s arm. What would I do without him? Not only had he helped me confront my father—I mean, Michael—but he was helping me deal with the aftermath, including all the financial and legal webs I was now tangled up in. Most of Michael’s assets had been frozen, but luckily, he’d already paid my tuition for the year, and I had a steady income from my job and side gig. The commission I received for selling the Richard Argus piece to Alex helped too. Josh, who’d received a full-ride scholarship plus living stipend for the duration of med school, was also set money-wise. At least that was one less thing we had to worry about.
“It’s one of my many talents.” Alex captured my mouth in a searing kiss, and I melted into him, letting his tongue and taste and touch carry me away to a land where my troubles didn’t exist.
God, I loved this man, and he didn’t even know it. Not yet.
My pulse thundered in my ears when we pulled apart. “Alex…”
“Hmm?” He brushed his fingers over my skin, his gaze still locked on my mouth.
“I have something to tell you. I—” Tell him. It’s now or never. “I love you,” I whispered, my heart beating fast, my confession a breathless rush.
A beat passed, followed by a second. Third.
Alex’s hand stilled, his expression fierce and strangely haunted. A wisp of unease niggled at my stomach.
“You don’t mean that.”
“Yes, I do,” I said, hurt and a little angry at his reaction. “I know what I feel.”
“I’m not an easy person to love.”
“Good thing I never cared much about taking the easy road.” I sat up straight and looked him straight in the eyes. “You are cold and infuriating and, I admit, a little scary. But you are also patient and supportive and brilliant. You inspire me to chase my dreams and drive away my nightmares. You are everything I didn’t know I needed, and you make me feel safer than anyone else on the planet.” I took a deep breath. “What I’m trying to say—again—is, I love you, Alex Volkov. Every part of you, even the parts I want to slap.”
A smile ghosted his mouth. “That was quite the speech.” The smile faded as quickly as it had come, and he dropped his forehead to mine, his breath ragged. “You are the light to my dark, Sunshine,” he said in a raw voice. His lips brushed against mine as he spoke. “Without you, I’m lost.”
Our kiss was even deeper this time, more urgent, but his response played on a loop in the back of my mind.
You are the light to my dark. Without you, I’m lost.
Beautiful words that made my heart pound…but I couldn’t help noticing none of them were “I love you too.”
31
Alex
The iron gates slid open, revealing a long driveway lined with northern red oak trees, their branches bare and brown in the harsh cold of winter, and the large brick mansion looming in the distance.
My uncle’s house—my house as well, before I’d moved to D.C.—stood behind a virtual fortress on the outskirts of Philadelphia, and that was the way he liked it.
I hadn’t wanted to leave Ava so soon after the shitshow with Michael, but I’d put off this meeting with my uncle long enough.
I found him in his office, smoking and watching a Russian drama on the flat-screen TV hanging in the corner. I never understood why he insisted on watching TV in here when he had a perfectly good den.
“Alex.” He blew a smoke ring in the air. A half-empty cup of green tea sat before him. He’d been obsessed with the drink ever since he read an article that said it helped with weight loss. “To what do I owe this surprise?”
“You know why I’m here.” I sank into the overstuffed chair opposite Ivan and picked up the ugly gold paperweight on his desk. It looked like a deformed monkey.
“Ah, yes. I heard. Checkmate.” My uncle smiled. “Congratulations. Though I have to admit, it was a bit anticlimactic. I’d expected your final move to go off with more of a…bang.”
My jaw tightened. “The situation changed, and I had to adapt.”
Ivan’s gaze turned knowing. “And what about the situation changed?”
I stayed silent.
I’d labored over my revenge plan for more than a decade, moving and manipulating every piece until I had them where I wanted them. Always play the long game.
But even I had to admit I’d gotten…distracted these past few months. Ava had swept into my life like a sunrise after dark, awakening creatures within my soul that I thought had died a long time ago: guilt. Conscience. Remorse.
Making me question whether the ends justified the means.
Around her, my thirst for vengeance slaked, and I almost—almost—gave it up, if only so I could pretend to be the man she thought I was. You have a multilayered heart, Alex. A heart of gold encased in a heart of ice.