She rolled over to find the bed beside her empty. She could hear the sound of Jack splitting logs in the backyard. She rinsed her mouth and rubbed his toothpaste against her teeth. A light blue, long-sleeved denim shirt hung on a hook in his closet and she put it on, sniffing the collar, smiling at his scent on it. It more than covered her; she was drowning in it. She went to the back door and stood watching him heft the ax and bring it down. Thwack. The air was clear and sharp; the rain was gone and the huge trees were washed clean. She watched him heft the ax again, and bring it down. His shirtsleeves were rolled up to the elbows and his biceps rippled under the weight and force of the ax.
Then he looked in her direction. She lifted a hand toward him and smiled.
He dropped the ax at once and came to her. As he stood before her, she put her hand on his chest. He ran the back of a knuckle against her pink cheek. “I think I roughed you up a little with whiskers.”
“Yeah. Don’t worry about it. I like it. It feels right. Natural. Good.”
“I love the way you look in my shirt,” he said. “I love the way you look out of my shirt.”
“I think we have a little time,” she said.
He swooped her up into his arms, kicking the door closed behind him, and bore her gently to the bed.
Eleven
The morning air was cool and foggy as Mel drove to her cabin. The front door was open, letting in the crisp June morning air. She kicked off her muddy boots on the porch and when she went inside found Joey sitting on the sofa, a quilt wrapped around her, a steaming cup of freshly brewed coffee on the table beside her.
Joey lifted a side of the quilt for Mel and Mel went to her, cuddling beside her, resting her head on Joey’s shoulder. Joey pulled the quilt snugly around them both. “You okay, baby sis?” Joey asked.
“I’m okay. I lost it last night.” She turned her head and looked up at her older sister. “Why didn’t I see that coming? You did.”
“The anniversary of deaths has a reputation,” she said. “Even if you don’t remember the exact date—it’ll sneak up on you and knock the wind out of you.”
“It sure did,” she said, lying her head back down on Joey’s shoulder. “I knew what day it was. I just didn’t expect such a dramatic event.”
Joey stroked Mel’s hair. “You weren’t alone, at least.”
“You just wouldn’t have believed it, even if you’d seen it. I was completely out of control, standing in the rain, screaming. I screamed for a long time. He just held me and let me. He kept telling me to let it out. Then he took care of me like you would a stroke victim. Undressed me, got me into dry clothes, gave me a brandy and put me to bed.”
“I think Jack must be a very good man…”
“Then I invited him into bed with me,” Mel said. Joey said nothing. “We made love all night long. I’ve never had so much sex in my life. I mean—never.”
“But you’re all right,” she said, and it was not a question.
“When I lifted the blanket for him, all I could think was, this will numb me. Rub out the pain, give me escape.”
“It’s okay, sweetie.”
Mel looked at Joey again. “It didn’t exactly work that way,” she said. “Maybe if he’d been average, I could’ve closed my eyes and just gone to a happy place. But he’s not average. Holy shit, he’s astonishing.”
Joey laughed a little, sentimentally. Sisters. They had talked about sex since they were teenagers. Laughed about it, told dark secrets about it. With Mark’s death, Joey had feared these kind of talks would never happen again.
“All he wanted was for me to have pleasure. Wild, blinding, crazed pleasure.”
Again Joey laughed. “Did it work?”
“Oh, yeah,” she said in a breath. Then she turned and looked at her sister. “Do you think he just felt sorry for me?”
“Well, you were there. Do you think that?”
Mel smiled. “I don’t care,” she said. “I just hope he feels sorry for me again, real soon.”
Joey smoothed the curly hair away from her sister’s pretty brow. “I’m glad you have this in your life again.” And then she giggled, and so did Mel.
“How did this happen, Joey? That I went from wanting to die, to wanting Jack? Wanting him so much I was almost a maniac? Wouldn’t you think that would be impossible? That I wouldn’t be able to even think like that?”
Joey took a breath. “I think when your emotions reach a pitch like that, it follows suit. You just feel everything more intensely. I think it makes stupid sense, actually. Haven’t you ever noticed that some of the best sex seems to follow a big fight? I’m pretty sure I conceived Ashley on the same night I told Bill that if I didn’t just leave him, I’d at least never speak to him again.”
Giggles.
“I haven’t even asked you how long you can stay,” Mel said.
“I can stay as long as you want me to, but a truly kind sister would pack up and get out of your hair right now.”
“No,” she said, shaking her head. “I’ve missed you so much.” She smiled. “It’s a sacrifice I’m willing to make for you.”
Joey hugged her close. “A few days, then. If you’re sure.”
“I’m sure.”
“Mel?”
“Huh?”
Joey revisited a topic from their earliest discussions on this subject, reaching back to their high-school and college days. “Do you think there’s any truth to that old wives’ tale that you can tell from the size of a man’s foot?”
“Uh-huh.”
“So. What size boot do you think Jack wears?”
Giggles.
“Twenty-seven,” Mel said.
Mel took Joey with her to Doc’s that very morning. Joey cozied up in the kitchen with a book while Mel and Doc saw a few patients. The three of them had lunch together at the house, then the girls went to Grace Valley where they visited June and John at the clinic. There were no patients scheduled for the next day and Doc wore his pager while he went to the river to fish, so Joey and Mel drove all the way to the coast, having lunch in the adorable little Victorian town of Ferndale.
They visited the shops—there were things that Joey thought would be perfect for Mel’s cabin—a throw for the sofa, some accent pillows, a wall clock, colorful place mats. They stopped off and bought a small barbecue for the yard and wooden salad bowls. A vase that would complement the table. On the way home they went to the market and bought some groceries and fresh flowers.
It seemed like a quick beer at Jack’s was in order and they went into the bar arm in arm, laughing because Mel had whispered, “If I catch you looking at his crotch, I will slap you.” Which almost guaranteed Joey was going to find the temptation irresistible. Then they invited him to come out to the cabin for dinner, and he not only eagerly accepted, he brought a six-pack.
They told stories from their childhood and teenage years that had him laughing right along with them till almost midnight.
When Jack was getting ready to leave, Joey slipped discreetly away so Mel could say good night to him in private. Outside, on the porch, with only the filtered light from inside the cabin, Jack stepped down a step so that he could be eye-to-eye with Mel. She draped her arms over his shoulders while he encircled her waist with his large hands. She leaned toward him and teasingly nibbled at his lower lip.