The official blustered before catching sight of Nasir and deciding his chances of persuasion were slim. He stormed off in anger.
Altair jogged to them. “Yes, good, great talk,” he said with false cheer, tugging on Nasir’s sleeve. His stare was fixed at the open window, where another wave of ifrit gathered. Lana, Kifah, and the rest of the Nine were nowhere to be seen. “I love words, don’t you? Let’s share some later. Now, yalla.”
“Front courtyard. Horses. Meet me at the Asfar trading house,” Seif shouted, sprinting back toward the palace.
“I can’t leave her,” Nasir said, stopping inside the gates. “Not like this.”
Altair dropped a hand to his shoulder, and Nasir took a fortifying breath when his gauntlet blades hummed. “Some honors must be forfeited so we may fight another day. If anyone can understand that, it would be Zafira.” He worked his jaw. “And Benyamin. I will never forgive myself for leaving him there, but we had no choice. That throne is yours by right, and I need you alive to put you on it.”
The horde thickened, and the crowds continued to thin as people either fled or fell. A fire rippled to life, casting the dead in orange. He was neither soldier nor general, but even he could see that this battle would not be won. As long as people remained in the courtyard, the ifrit would attack, but the Lion was no fool: He wouldn’t harm anyone beyond these gates. Not yet.
Nasir dropped his shoulders. He left behind half of his soul and the whole of his heart.
* * *
The horses were glad to flee the Lion’s dark kin. The dappled coat of Nasir’s steed glowed in the moonlight, reminding him of silver silk. Fear tainted the city, rumors slipping from loose tongues even at this hour, but he and Altair paused for no one as they raced through the streets.
Nasir was numb and aware of nothing. Only his inhales that would never be matched with another’s. Only his exhales that would stretch for the rest of his days.
Altair led the way to the Asfar trading house—a narrow building with a bronze gate, two camels idling just inside, a third asleep behind the low swaying shrubs. Nasir dismounted with a wave of exhaustion. A gentle breeze looped through the blue-black sky, slipping beneath the hair brushing his neck. Moments ticked by with his heartbeat, each one playing out Zafira’s death afresh. They’d been in such a hurry before, every instant leading to something else—the medallion, the feast, Altair.
Time had no meaning anymore.
Haytham’s son approached as if Nasir were a wild animal and said, “Shukrun.”
Nasir stared back.
He hated him, this innocent boy of eight. He hated his pale skin, hated his lilting accent. Hated that he still had a father. Anguish tore from Nasir’s mouth.
She was gone.
Altair gently led the boy to the camels with a murmur. When he returned, he couldn’t mask his pity quickly enough, and anger flooded Nasir’s veins, sudden and blinding. He shoved Altair against the wall, gripping fistfuls of his tattered shirt.
“This is all your fault.” His voice was breathless, raw. He was losing his mind.
Altair didn’t fight back. “What could I have done to stop it?”
Nasir clenched his jaw at Altair’s gentle tone. As if he were a child.
“Tell me, Nasir. Beat me, if you must. Tear me to shreds, if it will ease your suffering.”
“You could have used your light. Destroyed them the way you blasted the doors. You could have—”
He dropped his hand with a sob, and Altair pulled him to his chest. Nasir stiffened at the first semblance of an embrace he hadn’t had in years. Then he dropped his brow to Altair’s shoulder.
They stood like that as Nasir’s vision wavered. As his father lay on the cold hard tile near the throne he had never truly ruled from. As his fair gazelle lay beneath the moon, an arrow through her heart.
“I thought I could earn his trust. Hinder him in some way,” Altair said softly. “I swallowed bile as I indulged him, as I searched for anything that could bring him down. I thought for certain I’d gained an upper hand when you told me of the black dagger, but then Aya took his hand. I lost a daama eye. I was shackled. Drained of power as they used my blood.”
Nasir focused on the rumble of his words through his chest.
“Just standing upright requires more effort than I can summon. It was chance that broke the doors, not me. I tried, habibi. I did. You are not the only one who loves her.”
Loved, Nasir corrected in his head. Words so recklessly thrown in the present were now rooted in the past.
“Ghameq?” Altair ventured.
Nasir couldn’t answer, not without the frayed edges of his sanity unraveling, but Altair understood.
The general sighed. “May the remainder of his life be lived in yours.”
Nasir pressed his lips together. Life, however much or little was left, would be long indeed.
“In any case, you must acknowledge the great blessing permitting you to remain by my side yet another day,” Altair announced as the streets stirred with approaching horses. “There is no greater honor.”
Nasir drew away, but his retort faded when Altair’s face sobered.
“Do you understand, brother? You’ll have me. No matter how thick the night, I will always be there to light your way.”
CHAPTER 61
When the sand settled, the night framed two horses beneath the moon. Seif dismounted first, and Altair knew he’d learned of Zafira when he saw pity in his pale gaze. Pity never brought the dead back. It was an insult, plain and simple, one Nasir noted with the barest of growls in the back of his throat.
The second rider dismounted, a safi as tall and thin as her late brother, giving reason to why Seif hadn’t joined him and Nasir in their escape.
“Leila,” Altair greeted. Her abaya was far too scandalous for a funeral. The angled neck plunged almost to her stomach, her pale skin contrasting against the dark, glittering fabric. It was a sight he would have appreciated, had circumstances been different. Had her soft umber eyes, which matched Benyamin’s exactly, not been a sight too painful for this moment.
She nodded in return. Tears stained her cheeks. Blood dripped from her dress—her mother’s blood. He’d seen the Alder calipha on the floor, an eternal lifeline cut short by hatred. A death as heinous as her son’s.
“Head for Demenhur,” Seif instructed. “Neither Sultan’s Keep nor Sarasin is safe. I’ve directed the Pelusians to do the same. Lana rides with them.”
Altair pushed away from the wall and strode to them, leaving Haytham’s son by the gate. He didn’t know who Lana was. “I’ll be making a few stops along the way. The gossamer web needs to know the truth of what happened in the palace. We can—” He stopped at Seif’s chargin. “You’re leaving.”
“Aya was my charge,” Seif replied hoarsely.
Of course.
“And now she’s dead,” Altair finished numbly, fighting the rage that threatened to spill. “Died making the Lion what he is.”
“Why?”
The loathing behind that one word was so great, so unlike Nasir that both Altair and Seif turned to him fully in disbelief. He knew what the prince was thinking behind the flint of his eyes: It was Aya’s fault that Zafira was gone. But if they started down that path, blaming one thing upon the next, there would be no end, no future.