After the girls settled on their purchases—Ruth chose the gray dress, Irene went with an asparagus-colored twin set, and Harriet decided on a coffee-with-cream pillbox hat—they gathered back in their chairs wearing their original outfits. Shopping bags and garment carriers lined the wall behind them.
“What did you learn today, girls?” Lillian asked.
“Buy your girdle one size too small,” Harriet said, making everyone laugh whether she intended to or not.
“I was thinking more what you learned about yourselves,” Lillian said.
From Saks? This wasn’t an esteemed university, or even a second-rate college. Ruth hadn’t considered she’d learn anything about herself at a department store.
And yet, she had. She’d learned that the compliments she’d received while wearing the gray dress had instilled confidence for her upcoming job search—and she was dying to say so. She wondered if she could transfer the confidence the girls were giving her about her looks to everything else she was trying to accomplish—especially passing the bar exam.
“I tried outfits I never would have chosen myself, and I liked them,” Irene said. “I learned to take chances. With wardrobe, that is.”
“That’s a great lesson,” Lillian said. “Ruth?”
Chapter 16
RUTH
The minute Ruth walked in the front door, proudly carrying her new clothes in their festively wrapped bags, she was greeted by a toddler. Asher’s niece Judy ran to her and wrapped her pudgy little arms around her calf. Ruth was surprised not only by the unexpected guests, but by the delightful rush that ran through her at Judy’s welcome.
Even Shirley chuckled at her granddaughter’s enthusiasm, though Abigail quickly removed the little mischief-maker so Ruth’s packages didn’t get soiled.
“Looks like someone had a successful day,” Abigail said, eyeing the bags. “Can we see?”
Abigail had been friendly to Ruth all along, welcoming her into the family, not holding the elopement against her. Welcoming this sisterly gesture, Ruth unwrapped the gray dress, holding it up for Shirley and Abigail.
Shirley took a step back, assessing the color. “It picks up the gray in your eyes.”
She seemed pleased with Ruth’s choice. As if she might be a stylish Appelbaum woman yet.
“Pretty dress,” Abigail said. “Lipstick?”
Tucked in the Saks bag was a shiny new tube, which Ruth produced and opened, displaying a creamy, deep pink shade that set off the dress and her brunette hair.
The women nodded their approval as baby Judy said, “Yipstick!” and threw her arms around Ruth’s leg again.
What was happening? Ruth had grown up secure in a male household, without mother or sisters, and this new family still felt strange. Yet there was a level of comfort seeping into her, being around these women, these females who were now her kin. At least in name. The same feeling she got with her new friends.
Ruth picked up Judy. The child felt wiggly and tender and made Ruth’s heart swell. She hadn’t experienced that with Irene’s Heidi. Was it different with a child in your own family?
She nuzzled her nose against Judy’s, and the child giggled.
The women were still admiring Ruth’s dress when the door opened. Leon and Asher sauntered in and greeted the family. When Asher tried to take his niece, she wouldn’t let go of Auntie Ruth. Even Shirley raised an eyebrow at that one.
It felt good, Ruth had to admit, to be a part of this clan. Even if she had her own ideas of how she fit into the scheme of things.
After dinner, when the guests were gone and the kitchen cleaned, Ruth went to their bedroom, slid her pumps off, and removed her nylon stockings.
Asher ambled into the room. He shut the door and peeled off his shirt.
“Is that a frown? It must be that you missed your husband, because it looks to me like you had a pretty nice day.”
She had new outfits hanging in the closet and sample cologne spritzes lingering on her décolleté.
Today, she had thought less about the bar exam and potential interviews than she had in weeks. A sense of disloyalty and disappointment in herself crept in.
As if caring about her clothes held the same weight as fighting for laws that helped protect abused women and children.
“What’s wrong?” Asher asked.
“Nothing.”
Today she had behaved like a housewife, concerned only with the world that swirled around her in that dressing room. That had to stop. She needed to pass the bar and use the legal system to fight for the rights of women and children.
The day of fun distractions had ended.
Ruth pulled out her review book, slammed the drawer, and leaned back.
“Why are you grumpy?” Asher asked. “You don’t usually slam drawers.”
“I’m just thinking about everything that’s going on.”
Asher wrapped his arms around her. “I thought you had a good time shopping. And I thought we had a nice visit with my sister and Judy.” He wasn’t wrong. “You’re so good with the baby. She really likes you.”
Asher’s hug suddenly felt like a vise.
Ruth wiggled away. “What is that supposed to mean?”
“It’s not supposed to mean anything. I thought you would be glad baby Judy likes you.”
“I am.” Ruth looked at her hands. “But you know I don’t want to have a baby now.”
Asher flinched. “Where did that come from? We agreed we don’t want a baby yet. All I said was you’re good with her, which you are.”
Ruth laid her head on her husband’s broad shoulder. “I’m sorry. I do like the baby.” She turned away, afraid if she looked at Asher, she’d spill what was really bothering her. She bent her head. “I had so much fun today that I forgot I’m not just a housewife like the other girls.”
He laughed. “You’ve never been like other girls.” He hugged her again, and this time it felt warm and supportive.
“This is harder than I thought it would be,” she whispered.
“Marriage?”
“Life.” Ruth gazed at this burly, kind man to whom she was bound by law and love. “I want to be a good housewife; I do. But I’ll just wither and die if I have to read another issue of McCall’s. Why can’t I read the newspaper and make dinner?”
“I just want you to like this. All of this,” Asher said.
Ruth grasped Asher’s hands and stared at him. “I love being your wife. And I do want to be a good one. I also want to contribute to society, and I don’t mean by hosting a buffet for the Sisterhood of Wives. I want us to have children one day—and I want to make sure, if it’s a girl, that she has opportunities. Not just because she has an amazing father who will permit it, but because that’s what’s right and there are laws to protect her. I want to make sure everyone’s daughter, and mother, and sister has opportunities and is protected no matter what. And their children too.”
Asher seemed to hold his breath for a very long time, trying to make sense of this strange mood his wife was in after having such a happy day.
It bothered Ruth that she had to explain herself again.
When he exhaled, he looked slightly sadder. “I’d be lying if I didn’t say that sometimes I wished I was enough for you. But then you wouldn’t be the girl I fell in love with. The girl at the head of her class, studying with a group of Barnard girls on the grass in the quad, spouting some historic fact, waving her arms. You were something else then, and you’re something else now.” He kissed her again. “My something else.”