“But that would mean that the human mates of the Fae become…”
“Fae? At the root of it, yes. They become immortal and they share in their mate’s status and power. They become equal,” he answered. “It is why it is so insulting when a human believes they will be nothing more than a pet to their mate. We give as much as we take, as it should be.”
“Is this why Caldris said it was unusual for a Fae to take another Fae as a mate? How would that work with a mate bond?”
“The same way,” Holt answered. “It is rare because the cleaving of souls was intended to create balance. We believe that a fracture only results in two Fae souls when those souls are destined to bring about change, something that aligns with the designs of the witches. As you can imagine, if the two Fae complete the bond and share their power with one another without restriction, it could change a Fae from a regular Sidhe to almost God-like in his abilities.”
“What happens when one of the Gods mates with another Fae? Would the Sidhe become a God? Would they become Primordials?” I asked, running my fingers over the book in front of me as my curiosity threatened to devour me.
If there was anything that drove me to desire more, to seek out answers, it was the wonder that hid within all magic. I desired to unravel it and understand how it worked at its core. “That’s never happened,” Holt said with a shrug. “Many of the Gods have not yet found their mate, despite centuries of searching, and have somehow clung to their sanity by the grace of the witches and whatever they have planned. But of the Gods who have found their mate, only one pair mated with another Fae and accepted the bond in full. They did not become Primordials, despite both of them being Gods in their own right.”
“Primordials are born, not made,” I said, mulling over the thought.
Holt stood once again, staring down at me intently. “Get some sleep. The book will be there tomorrow, and I hope it helps you to understand the instincts driving your mate to behave more brutishly than you would prefer. The Fae are half-feral as it is, Estrella. Deny a male his mate, and you risk awakening all the instincts that Caldris would sooner protect you from. That’s why he left you. Not for his benefit, or because of his rage, but because if he didn’t, he may find he did something he regretted and couldn’t take back.” He stepped away, leaving me to my thoughts as I stared down at the book.
All around me, the camp settled in for the night. The Wild Hunt didn’t need sleep and kept an eye on me as I sat beside the fire. I knew that I needed to rest, and that my body was still recovering from the draining pull of Caldris consuming too much magic.
But the book called to me.
I rubbed Fenrir’s belly and turned the page.
My body jostled as something shifted me closer to the fire, settling behind me. I groaned, rolling forward until my ribs slid over the top of the book. Gentle hands pulled it out from underneath me, setting it to the side as heat covered my back and slid beneath the blanket with me.
“You left me,” I said, stating the obvious as my sleepy state fell away.
Caldris nuzzled into the back of my neck, pulling me tighter into his chest. “I didn’t think you would care. What’s wrong, min asteren? Did you miss me?” he asked, his voice teasing as if he could brush away the neglect I’d felt with him gone.
The absolute bone-chilling depression I’d felt the moment he’d walked out on me, wondering if he would never return. If I’d gone too far, even when I didn’t intend to, and lost the one male who would love me beyond everything.
I shifted forward out of his grasp, sitting up and trying to ignore the prying eyes of the Wild Hunt as they watched. The rest of the Fae Marked slept peacefully in their tents, the moon and stars lighting the night sky above as I turned away from the fire and skewered my mate with a glare.
“You are not about to come back from Gods-know-where and act like nothing ever happened,” I said, flinching back when he sat up and reached for me.
“Little One,” he said, the smile dropping off his face.
“You could have been killed. You could have been caught by the Mist Guard and tortured for all I knew, and I’d just be stuck here surrounded by fucking dead people!” I yelled, stepping off the blanket. Shades lingered in the distance, observing the Wild Hunt with interest and probably waiting for them to do something far more entertaining than sit around a fire or socialize amongst themselves at camp. The book sprawled open on the blanket in front of where I’d lain, and Caldris’s eyes fell to it before he raised his stare back to me.
“It would appear you’ve been making good use of your time while you’re stuck here,” he said, picking up the book as his eyes skimmed over the page I’d been reading when I fell asleep. “It seems Holt has been inserting himself where he does not belong as usual.”
“Just because you’re determined to keep me in the dark doesn’t mean everyone shares that sentiment. Did you stop to consider that maybe if you told me the truth of what was coming and what might be expected of me, I could make a better choice for my future?” I asked, reaching forward and snatching the book from his grasp. I’d only made a small dent in my reading before my exhaustion claimed me and my eyes drifted closed, only to be awakened by the return of my mate, who thought he could leave me without him for an entire day.
“Am I supposed to believe that you would relish knowing I’m inside your head? That there is no part of you or your history that would be safe from me? You can only tolerate my touch when you convince yourself you hate me,” he said with a scoff, his anger from that morning showing on his face.
“Cal, perhaps…” Holt said, stepping up beside us.
“I’ll deal with you later, Huntsman,” Caldris said, turning to glare at his only friend with eyes so black I swore I would never see the sun shine again when he turned his dark stare back to me. “I think you’ve done enough.”
“He protected me when you abandoned me,” I snapped, ignoring the way Holt hung his head in his hands.
“Don’t stand up for me. You’ll only make it worse. He isn’t capable of being rational right now, Beasty,” Holt argued, raising his hands and backing away.
Caldris growled, the irrational rumble in his chest grating on my nerves as I dropped my hands to my sides. “I didn’t want you to touch me this morning, because you terrify me,” I said, my voice coming out soft.
He turned his gaze to me, his attention so fixated that Holt managed to slink back into the darkness and evade his notice. My throat burned with the threat of tears, brought with the knowledge that all around us, the Wild Hunt heard me confess my greatest weakness.
They heard the emotion in my voice, the way I was barely capable of withholding the tears gathering in my eyes as I said, “I didn’t want you to touch me because I know it is more than just sex. Because I can feel you working your way inside of me all over again.”
“My star…” he said, reaching for me as I gathered up the book off the blanket and stood. I turned my gaze away from him, looking over to the tent and the privacy it offered. Feeling on the verge of breaking, I ignored the way he vaulted to his feet to follow me.