A soft puff of warm air left his nose, and he raised his other hand, cupping my throat with it.
My little heart sped up at that. What in the hell was he doing? Why was he touching me like this?
He wasn’t going to kill me…
Or maybe he was?
“Why?”
“Why am I leaving?”
He nodded.
What did I have to lose at this point anyway? I wasn’t trying to be mean, but sometimes the truth wasn’t pretty. It wasn’t like he held back from me either to soften my feelings. “I would rather sleep on the floor and take my chances on my own than feel like a burden,” I told him slowly, softly, carefully. I didn’t want to cry, and if I went too fast… “You have enough to worry about. The whole world needs you. You saved me from that place, you took care of me when I needed it the most. You carried me when anybody else would have left me to die.” I swallowed. “Thank you. Really, thank you. I’ve spent the last three decades in my own little world: I can figure it out. You don’t have to worry about me… not that you would, but you know what I mean.”
That cool hand left my face, and he stood up suddenly. His chest rose and fell once before he looked down. His Adam’s apple bobbed. Those perfect lips pressed together.
I stayed where I was.
“You’re sleeping on the floor because of me?”
I suddenly felt tired and petty. I shouldn’t have said anything. I should have kept my mouth closed. I should have pretended like everything was fine until I could sneak out of here. I was so damn dumb. Because maybe he was a grump, but he was no stranger to responsibility. Somewhere deep down in that crabby heart with teeth, he didn’t let people down. He didn’t go back on his word. There was a lot of kindness in him.
And I was guilt-tripping him.
“Gracie,” he grumbled deeply.
“You don’t want me here, and I’m not going to stay where I’m not wanted.”
His face went cloudy. “I never said I didn’t want you here.”
Why did that make my chest hurt? “Yeah, you did.”
“No, I didn’t.”
I scowled, my hand forming a fist. “I thought I was stubborn but you…”
A small growl formed inside that unreal chest. His hand went back to my throat. His pinkie finger grazed the soft skin between my neck and collarbone. He tilted my face at the same time he lowered his, hovering there, staring right into my eyes.
He dropped his voice, the hint of a growl there as he clenched out, “You stubborn little butthole.”
I gasped. “Hey. You’re the butthole.” Rude.
“No, you are.”
“No—” What was I doing? I was over this. I didn’t want to talk about it anymore. I definitely didn’t want to bicker with him over it.
He had his own things going on, and I understood it. If I carried the weight that he did on his back, I’d be a mush of bones and guts. I would’ve crumbled instantly. The last thing he needed was another human body’s worth of weight to carry.
Whatever I felt now would pass.
Alexander’s dark eyebrows rose though, and his face dipped even closer. So close if I would have leaned forward a couple of inches, his mouth would have brushed the tip of my nose. He was literally right there.
And if he had been anyone else, if we’d had a different friendship/relationship, I would have thought something I had no business thinking of. I could have hoped that was the case. That would’ve been a dream straight out of one of my books. I wasn’t blind. I wasn’t immune to the power of his face and that incredible body. He was the most handsome, beautiful man I had ever seen and would ever see.
But this was my life, and sure we existed in a world where a person like him existed, and sure, I had some secret DNA in my body…
But none of that meant shit.
And I was tapped out in the miracles I was willing to believe in.
But his next words surprised me more than just about anything else would have. “You’re not leaving, Gracie.”
My snort hurt, but it was totally worth it to see his expression darken and his face inch a little bit closer.
He didn’t let me stop him. “You said we were friends.”
It was so petty. So damn petty, but I muttered it anyway. “I changed my mind. We don’t need to be friends. You weren’t that crazy about it in the first place.”
Oh, I felt the fucking ice in his gaze. “I changed my mind.”
Oh boy.
“We made an agreement,” he said in that super bossy voice, deciding to approach this in a different direction. “I said I was going to be there for you. That’s what we agreed on.”
I swear… I squawked right before his hand moved and his thumb settled over my lips. Was this son of a bitch for real? Was he telling me he wouldn’t pay for my cell phone one day and now insisting he wanted to be there for me?
“You’re not leaving.” He kept going in that steady, rich voice. “We made a deal, and you don’t back out on a deal, Cookie. Not with me.”
He was fighting dirty calling me that, and we both knew it. But I wasn’t even going to poke at it. I had to focus and not let Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde get to me. “I’m not backing out on the deal. I’m releasing you from it,” I said from under his finger, feeling myself getting riled up. It was his honor making him say all this, I knew it, he knew it.
He took his sweet time shaking his head. “No. I’m not being released from anything because you forgot what I said I would do—”
“I didn’t forget anything,” I said, my words muffled under his finger.
“Shh.”
I was going to “shh” his ass.
“Listen, Gracie.”
I growled.
His nod irritated the hell out of me. Then he busted out the smoothest, most patient tone he had ever used, on me at least, as he lifted his finger from my mouth. “You’re going to live here.”
I didn’t think I’d ever bitten anyone, but I was seriously considering it now.
“I’m going to protect you, because there might be a chance that there are people now who would want to get to me through you, and you know who those people are. You think word won’t get out?” I could feel his breath, all nice and cool on my face. “I’m going to be here for you for the rest of your life. That’s what I said I would do, and that’s what I’m going to do.”
I grabbed his wrist and tried to tug it away. He let me go but slipped his fingers through my hair right above my nape instead.
I froze, surprised. Shocked more like it. And that’s probably why I could barely choke out the words, “What are you doing?” Shushing me was one thing, but this?
I was pretty sure my nipples got even harder, the traitors.
He rubbed my hair between his fingers, I could feel it. Even his breaths were soft on my cheek and nose. His fingertips suddenly grazed my scalp, and I tensed at the unexpected affection.
No. It wasn’t affection. He didn’t even like me.
My nipples were out of control. They needed a time-out. Maybe they needed to get grounded.
It took me two tries to clear my throat and ask weakly, “I’m not kidding. What are you doing?” Did I have to sound like a damn frog?