Who was going to replace him? How many more Atraxians like him were there? By “one of the faces” did he mean the Trinity?
“I’m tired of helping people who don’t deserve it, and I know it isn’t up to me to decide who that is. One life is just as important as another. Everyone is someone’s son or daughter.” He shook his head. “For every thousand people we save, we’re blamed for the deaths of another ten thousand.” Those purple eyes flicked toward me. “Nothing I do will ever be enough, so is there a point?”
I had to try and keep my shock to a minimum and focus on what he was saying. “I don’t blame you for feeling that way,” I told him, thinking as fast as I could. “That’s a lot to live with, and I don’t think I could deal with it either. The scrutiny. The pressure. I don’t even like counting change in line at the grocery store.”
Did that get me part of a smile?
“But the inspectors and everyone who looked into that accident said there was nothing that could have been done. You said it. You were already saving other people. You got there as fast as you could. Those people are hurt inside and just want someone to blame, and they’re stupid for putting it on you instead of the guy who is behind bars for actually starting it.” I wrinkled the plastic bag in my hand. “You already know they’re dumb and misguided. Anyone with any common sense does.”
Alex watched me.
“But it wouldn’t hurt to think about it. About your decision. I get it. It’s like you said, doing the right thing isn’t easy, and people who think it is haven’t been in that position before. Maybe it isn’t their fault either. Some people have all the luck.”
It was his turn to be suspicious from the sudden face he made. “Why are you so nice to me now when you wouldn’t look me in the eye a few minutes ago?”
I gave him a side-look. “You get on my nerves, don’t get me wrong, but in a way… I don’t know. I feel kind of a kinship to you. We both didn’t ask for certain parts of our lives, and we’re just doing our best.” I shrugged. “Some battles we have to fight by ourselves, but maybe not all of them, even if it’s just a little, itty-bitty thing someone can help with. Something little is still something.”
I could tell he was thinking about what I’d said.
“Last question. Who is Alana?”
“My sister.”
She had a name. Oh shit. I was going to need to give that some time to sink in.
Leaning back against the side of the bed, I ate another Cheeto and let him take one too. “Now that we’ve got that settled, can I go back to sleep? I slept like shit last night, and I still don’t feel great. The floor sucks.”
His answer was to stand and hold out the hand he hadn’t eaten Cheetos with. I took it and let him pull me up. I rolled up the bag, set it on the dresser, then pulled the comforter and top sheet back and turned to him.
But he wasn’t there.
He was already on the other side of the bed.
Taking off his pants.
When he caught me, he raised an eyebrow and stepped out of them. He was wearing boxer briefs; I didn’t bother trying to be discreet about checking him out. He had great thighs. Great everything. I was pretty sure I’d memorized his eight-pack.
“You’re still sick, and I want to make sure you actually sleep in the bed,” he explained as he slid between the sheets.
It was my turn to raise my eyebrow at him.
He sighed deeply as he settled into the bed, pulling the sheets up to his chest.
Then I got in too. I reached over to turn off the lamp and sighed as I rolled onto my back. The mattress was at least a thousand times better than the floor, that was for sure.
Reaching across the bed, my fingers found his forearm and I patted it. “If you’re too scared to sleep by yourself, it’s okay. I’m not one to judge. I’m scared to sleep by myself too. I kept thinking I was going to get dragged under the bed by an evil spirit in the middle of the night. Just so you know though, the only thing I’ll protect you from are flying roaches. We lived in Texas for a while, and I’ve killed a ton of them. If the Bogeyman comes in, you’re on your own.”
Part of me expected him to laugh, but instead, I felt a brush at the top of my hand. It only lasted about a second, but the touch sent a shot straight up through my forearm and into my chest and… other places. “I bet you would,” he said, his voice soft. “But I can do the protecting from now on, Cookie Monster. Bogeyman or not.”
We would see about that, I thought as I drifted off to sleep.
CHAPTER
TWENTY-THREE
It was over breakfast the next day, after waking up with my fingers inches from Alex’s forearm and trying to sneak out of bed without waking him and failing at it, that he looked at me while holding a piece of bacon and asked, “What do you need?”
I was in the middle of eating my own slice when I started choking and had to take a second before I swallowed it down.
What do you need? What did he mean, what did I need? A lot of things. And maybe it said enough about where my mind was that I would first think about sex.
Could you imagine?
Just last night I’d wanted to punch him in the throat, but now… well, now I still wanted to do it. Not as hard though. It wasn’t like it would actually hurt him.
A snicker from the stove where Selene was busy frying up breakfast sausages had me glancing toward her. The other woman had tongs in her hand as she stood at an angle, facing the table. She’d already been in the kitchen by the time I’d made it downstairs.
“What do you mean? With what?” I asked him as innocently as I could.
He kind of got squinty. “I meant with your life. What do you need? You said you were waiting for your cell phone.”
Oh, that. I’d thought about it the day before when I’d hid in the bedroom after Agatha’s visit. I had made a vague plan for the future that involved a lot of illegal things I would need to atone for in the future.
But now, I had somewhere to be. A place I hoped could buy me some much-needed time to get my life sorted. I finished eating the rest of my bacon, ignoring the too-watchful purple eyes across the table while I thought about it. Then I said, “Well, I need to figure out what to do about the ‘fire’ that burned the house down. I don’t know if I’m going to be in trouble with the police since I kind of went missing.”
“I’ve been thinking about that.” It was Selene who spoke up.
We both looked at her.
“Get Legal in on it. They’ll know what to do,” she said.
Legal?
Even Alex nodded like that was a good idea.
“What does that mean?”
“The family,” Selene answered, “has a legal department. There’s a whole team of lawyers that sort out that kind of thing.”
Their family had a legal department? How was that possible? Because of the Trinity?
“She’s right. They would be the easiest way to deal with most of your issues. They have contacts in a lot of places.”
I’d bet they fucking did. “Okay…，” I told him, wondering just… so many things. Were they run like a corporation? Did they have presidents and prime ministers on speed dial that owed them favors?