“Nothing.”
“There must be something,” she insisted. “Surely we’re not meant to merely wait this out.”
“We’re meant,” he said weakly, “to merely wait this out.”
“I can’t believe that’s true.”
He opened one eye. “Do you mean to challenge the entire medical establishment?”
She ground her teeth together and hunched over in her chair. “Are you certain you don’t need more medicine?”
He shook his head, then moaned at the exertion of it. “Not for another few hours.”
“Where is it?” she asked. If the only thing she could truly do was to locate the medication and be ready to dispense it, then by God, she would at least do that.
He moved his head slightly to the left. Francesca followed the motion toward a small table across the room, where a medicinal bottle sat atop a folded newspaper. She immediately rose and retrieved it, reading the label as she walked back to her chair. “Quinine,” she murmured. “I’ve heard of that.”
“Miracle medicine,” Michael said. “Or so they say.”
Francesca looked at him dubiously.
“Just look at me,” he said with a lopsided—and feeble—grin. “Proof positive.”
She inspected the bottle again, watching the powder shift as she tilted it. “I remain unconvinced.”
One of his shoulders attempted to move in a blithe gesture. “I’m not dead.”
“That’s not funny.”
“No, it’s the only funny thing,” he corrected. “We’ve got to take our laughter where we can. Just think, if I died, the title would go to—how does Janet always put it—that—”
“Awful Debenham side of the family,” they finished together, and Francesca couldn’t believe it, but she actually smiled.
He could always make her smile.
She reached out and took his hand. “We will get through this,” she said.
He nodded, and then he closed his eyes.
But just when she thought he was asleep, he whispered, “It’s better with you here.”
The next morning Michael was feeling somewhat refreshed, and if not quite his usual self, then at least a damn sight better than he’d been the night before. Francesca, he was horrified to realize, was still in the wooden chair at his bedside, her head tilted drunkenly to the side. She looked uncomfortable in every way a body could look uncomfortable, from the way she was perched in the chair to the awkward angle of her neck and the strange spiral twist of her torso.
But she was asleep. Snoring, even, which he found rather endearing. He’d never pictured her snoring, and sad to say, he had imagined her asleep more times than he cared to count.
He supposed it had been too much to hope that he could hide his illness from her; she was far too perceptive and certainly far too nosy. And even though he would have preferred that she didn’t worry over him, the truth was, he’d been comforted by her presence the night before. He shouldn’t have been, or at least he shouldn’t have allowed himself to be, but he just couldn’t help it.
He heard her stir and rolled to his side to get a better look. He had never seen her wake up, he realized. He wasn’t certain why he found that so strange; it wasn’t as if he’d been privy to many of her private moments before. Maybe it was because in all of his daydreams, in all of his fantasies, he’d never quite pictured this—the low rumbling from deep in her throat as she shifted position, the small sigh of sound when she yawned, or even the delicate ballet of her eyelids as they fluttered open.
She was beautiful.
He’d known that, of course, had known that for years, but never before had he felt it quite so profoundly, quite so deeply in his bones.
It wasn’t her hair, that rich, lush wave of chestnut that he was rarely so privileged as to see down. And it wasn’t even her eyes, so radiantly blue that men had been moved to write poetry—much, Michael recalled, to John’s everlasting amusement. It wasn’t even in the shape of her face or the structure of her bones; if that were the case, he’d have been obsessed with the loveliness of all the Bridgerton girls; such peas in a pod they were, at least on the outside.
It was something in the way she moved.
Something in the way she breathed.
Something in the way she merely was.
And he didn’t think he was ever going to get over it.
“Michael,” she murmured, rubbing the sleep from her eyes.
“Good morning,” he said, hoping she’d mistake the roughness in his voice for exhaustion.
“You look better.”
“I feel better.”
She swallowed and paused before she said, “You’re used to this.”
He nodded. “I wouldn’t go so far as to say that I don’t mind the illness, but yes, I’m used to it. I know what to do.”
“How long will this continue?”
“It’s hard to say. I’ll get fevers every other day until I just…stop. A week in total, maybe two. Three if I’m fiendishly unlucky.”
“And then what?”
He shrugged. “Then I wait and hope it never happens again.”
“It can do that?” She sat up straight. “Just never come back?”
“It’s a strange, fickle disease.”
Her eyes narrowed. “Don’t say it’s like a woman.”
“Hadn’t even occurred to me until you brought it up.”
Her lips tightened slightly, then relaxed as she asked, “How long has it been since your last…” She blinked. “What do you call them?”
He shrugged. “I call them attacks. Certainly feels like one. And it’s been six months.”
“Well, that’s good!” She caught her lower lip between her teeth. “Isn’t it?”
“Considering it had only been three before that, yes, I think so.”
“How often has this happened?”
“This is the third time. All in all, it’s not too bad compared with what I’ve seen.”
“Am I meant to take solace in that?”
“I do,” he said bluntly. “Model of Christian virtue that I am.”
She reached out abruptly and touched his forehead. “You’re much cooler,” she remarked.
“Yes, I will be. It’s a remarkably consistent disease. Well, at least when you’re in the midst of it. It would be nice if I knew when I might expect an onset.”
“And you’ll really have another fever in a day’s time? Just like that?”
“Just like that,” he confirmed.
She seemed to consider that for a few moments, then said, “You won’t be able to hide this from your family, of course.”
He actually tried to sit up. “For God’s sake, Francesca, don’t tell my mother and—”
“They’re expected any day now,” she cut in. “When I left Scotland, they said they would be only a week behind me, and knowing Janet, that really means only three days. Do you truly expect them not to notice that you’re rather conveniently—”
“Inconveniently,” he cut in acerbically.
“Whichever,” she said sharply. “Do you really think they won’t notice that you’re sick as death every other day? For heaven’s sake, Michael, do credit them with a bit of intelligence.”