Nick paused in the act of swiping his credit card and glanced at his mom. Then he looked at the cashier, who stared back at him expectantly.
“Oh, uh, okay.” Nick proceeded to struggle through an elevator pitch that he’d definitely need to improve at a later date. But when he was finished, the cashier simply nodded again.
“Cool,” she said. “I’ll buy it.”
Teresa was smiling softly as they loaded the groceries into Nick’s rental car. He didn’t know if his mom would ever flat-out say that she was proud of him. That wasn’t exactly her way. But her smile let Nick know how she felt.
They dropped off her groceries, then Nick drove Teresa to the nursing home for her evening shift. She thanked Nick for the ride and opened her door. Then she seemed to rethink her decision and closed the door just as quickly.
“I met your dad when I had no one,” she said, turning to him. “He was the first person who really cared about me. When I found out I was pregnant with you, my priority was keeping my family together. I didn’t want you to feel the way I’d felt as a child. I wanted you to grow up with both of your parents. That’s why I always did everything I could to bring your father back home whenever he left. I wanted you to have stability. It took me a long time to realize that my behavior was the opposite of stable.”
Nick leaned back in his seat, his hands at ten and two on the steering wheel. He was shocked that his mother, who’d always been so stoic, was sharing these things with him.
“Given the way that your father and I were, it makes sense that you’d want to stay away,” she continued. “I wasn’t there for you when I should have been, and I’m sorry. But people can change. I’m trying to, at least.”
There was a part of Nick that was hesitant to trust Teresa’s earnestness. She could be saying this now only because Nick had helped her so much or because Albert wasn’t there to keep her attention. Trusting Teresa didn’t come naturally to him.
But he thought about what Lily would do. He knew that she’d give Teresa the chance to prove herself.
“Okay,” he said.
“You’re not up there in New York alone, are you?” she asked. “Do you have someone?”
His knee-jerk reaction to keep Lily separate from his parents flared up. But he didn’t want to hide his past from his present anymore.
“I do,” he said. “Her name’s Lily.”
Teresa smiled a little, tilting her head. “Tell me about her.”
And so he did.
* * *
? ? ?
Later, at the hospital, Nick was waiting to speak with Albert’s doctor about next steps for his recovery and at-home care. Albert had been in the hospital for almost a week and a half, and the surgery a few days ago for his broken leg had been successful. He was recuperating now and would be discharged soon.
While Albert slept, Nick sat in a chair by the window with his notebook propped open in his lap. He was trying to write, but his mind was on Lily.
“I don’t think I’ve ever seen you without a notebook in your hand.”
Nick glanced up, and Albert was awake, looking at him. His voice was groggy, and his movements were sluggish as he slowly sat upright.
“You the one paying for this hospital bill?” he asked. He attempted a lopsided grin.
Nick cleared his throat and closed his notebook. “I can.”
Over the past couple days when Nick had visited Albert, he’d been asleep or so high on painkillers, he’d barely registered that Nick was even there. Now they stared at each other, assessing. It had been years since they’d spoken directly, receiving updates on each other’s lives only through Teresa. The last time they spoke they’d been in this same hospital after Teresa had fractured her shoulder. They’d been arguing, shouting.
Nick had spent so many years in constant anxiety, anticipating Albert’s behavior, wondering if he was going to pop up at his school or his job to ask for money or to make him do something that he didn’t want to. As a kid, Nick had both feared the possibility of Albert’s presence and craved it, because on his rare good days, Albert had been larger than life. Now he looked so small and fragile in his hospital bed, and Nick wondered why he’d ever thought to feel so afraid.
“Why you looking at me like that?” Albert asked. His gaze suddenly turned hard.
Nick shook his head. “I’m not looking at you any kind of way.”
“Yes, you are. You think you better than me or something?”
“No,” Nick said. Then he paused. “I just think you need help, Dad.”