Yet another reason why Lily needed to find a new job.
She averted her eyes from the screen and marched outside toward the subway.
She might never know the truth of whom she had been emailing with for the better part of a year, but whoever it was had been right about an agent trying to resell Elves in a big way. The same website was still up and running, so the person emailing her had to have known N.R. Strickland in some capacity. Maybe she had been emailing with his assistant, or the graphics designer who made the website. Or maybe she’d imagined the entire thing in a yearlong fever dream. Either way, she wanted it all behind her.
But she was still so angry. Angry at Strick—or whoever they were—for lying to her for months. Angry at herself for revealing so much about her life to a complete stranger. For being so lonely and vulnerable that she hadn’t even thought twice about doing so. For being swept away by his imaginary date ideas and charm. God. How pathetic. How embarrassing.
She jostled her way onto the crowded subway car and managed to find a seat. As the Q train took her from Midtown to Union Square, Lily tried not to fall into old thinking patterns. Like how she used to spend so much time last year imagining her fake life with Strick. She’d pictured him to be average height and brown-skinned. Cute and approachable. For some reason, her imaginary version of Strick wore circular tortoiseshell glasses. He didn’t care that Lily was awkward sometimes and he was happy to fill the silence with stories about his travels. He laughed at her jokes when she managed to make them. He was okay with spending a Friday night inside, reading beside her on the couch. And during the nights when he couldn’t sleep, they’d hold hands and walk through the city. He was perfect and wonderful with a smooth British accent.
He also wasn’t real.
As she got off the train and walked through Union Square park past the chess players and skateboarders, she did not think about that hypothetical Christmas date with Strick where they walked through this same park. She did not think about how the Christmas lights would reflect in his glasses as he leaned in to kiss her. Nope, she was not thinking about that at all.
In fact, she wasn’t thinking about it so hard, she didn’t even notice that Fine as Hell Neighbor was walking right toward her until he was literally feet away.
“Hey,” he said, pulling open the door to their apartment building. Today, he wore a black T-shirt and black denim shorts. He looked effortlessly sexy. He stepped back to let Lily go through first and smiled.
She felt it again, that weird sensation of familiarity.
Don’t just stare at him! Say something!
“Um,” Lily mumbled.
No, not that!
“Thank you,” she said.
Better, much better.
“No problem.”
He walked a couple feet behind her through the lobby. She purposely slowed her walk so that they’d fall into step together. She took a deep breath and forced herself to look at him.
“I’m Lily, by the way,” she said.
His eyebrows furrowed for a second, but his expression quickly cleared.
“Nick.” He held out his hand and Lily fumbled with her bag and manuscript before clumsily offering her hand too. “Nice to meet you.”
His hand was large and a little rough as it covered hers. Her whole body felt electrified at that simple touch. When he let go, Lily discreetly rubbed her sweaty palm against her thigh with a wince. He probably thought she was a wet-handed monster.
“Nice to meet you too.”
They waited for the elevator and Lily’s mind went blank per usual as she stumbled for something to say next. Then she remembered their common ground.
“I like The Fifth Season too,” she blurted.
Nick raised an eyebrow, still smiling politely, but clearly not following her train of thought.
“By, um, N. K. Jemisin, I mean,” she continued. “I saw you holding it once. I assumed you’d read it . . .”
Oh God. Maybe she’d misread the situation. He could have been gifting the book to someone else. Or maybe he’d found the copy on the hallway floor and had been on his way to donate it. What if she’d somehow dropped her copy and he’d accidentally donated it?
“Oh yeah, I did,” Nick said. “I read it in a day.”
Lily’s eyeballs popped. “In a day? It’s over five hundred pages long!”
“I’m a fast reader.” He shrugged, sporting a slightly sheepish smile, as if being a fast reader was something to be ashamed about. “I sit in the park and read for hours.”
Dear Lord. Be still her heart.