“You’ll do it,” Nick said. “I believe in you.”
He said this with such confident ease, as if he already knew what she was capable of. Like he saw something in her that she was struggling to see in herself. Lily was so thrown, she simply gazed at him as he scooped his hands into the bag of chips.
Girl, stop! Not with this obsessive behavior again!
Clearing her throat, she asked, “So do you think you’ll go back to journalism? I remember you said you were in between things.”
She noticed the way he stilled then, his hand hovering above his mouth, filled with chips. “I’m working on stuff here and there. Still trying to figure it all out, honestly.”
He started fiddling with the bag of chips, rolling and unrolling the top.
It was a vague answer, but she understood him not wanting to go too in depth about his work. Edith had some authors who couldn’t discuss a book until they’d completed an entire draft. She imagined it might be the same for journalists.
“Well, just putting it out there that you could share your writing with me,” she said. “I do edit nonfiction. I mean, if you ever want feedback.”
He quickly shook his head. “Nah. Not a chance. My stuff is trash. You’d never look at me the same.”
Lily rolled her eyes, but she smirked. “I doubt it’s trash.”
“It is. I promise you. It’s not even regular trash. Or junkyard trash. It’s the kind that you can’t reuse so it has no business being in the junkyard in the first place. If you read it, you’d avoid me in the hallways.”
“I’d never avoid you. Who else would talk to me about early-2000s fantasy novels and music icons from North Carolina?”
“Good point. We share a wealth of random knowledge.”
Lily laughed and was suddenly struck with a strange feeling that they’d done this before, which they most definitely hadn’t. It was that deceiving sense of familiarity again, flaring up and nagging at her. She was comfortable enough to tell him things she didn’t usually tell other people she’d known for only a couple weeks. Why?
When she still hadn’t responded, Nick glanced over at her. He started to speak but stopped. She didn’t know how she was looking at him, but something in her expression must have given him pause.
An Earth, Wind & Fire song was blasting in the living room. Lily felt the bass vibrating through the floor as she and Nick stared at each other. Nick’s chest rose and fell as he breathed deeply. He began to lean closer, and she felt deliciously light-headed at the scent of his cologne. Was he going to kiss her again? This time would he pull her close, gently and carefully, before delivering soft kisses along her neck until he reached her mouth? Or would he be insistent and urgent, scooping her into his lap and grabbing either side of her face as he covered her mouth with his own? Lily squeezed her thighs together as she pictured Nick’s large hands palming her butt, him biting her bottom lip.
He was giving her that look, the one that made her feel like he was cataloging her features, storing them away in his memory for safekeeping. Was it obvious that she was fantasizing about him as he sat right in front of her? He licked his lips. He had to know. How could he not?
“Lily . . .” Nick said quietly. That was it. Just her name. She leaned closer too, dying to know what he’d say next.
Then something crashed on the floor in the living room and everything went black.
“Oh shit, the disco ball!” Caleb yelled. “Party’s over, you heathens!”
Someone turned off the music and turned on the lights. Lily and Nick jerked away from each other. Nick stood and ran a hand over his face, then stuffed both hands in his pockets. Lily looked everywhere but at him. What just happened? She wasn’t imagining the moment they’d just had, was she?
Nick cleared his throat and she finally turned to him. He scratched the back of his neck again, a slightly panicked look in his eyes. “Are you ready to go? Should we go?”
“Yeah, sure.” She stood too, feeling slightly off-kilter.
“Okay, I’ll grab your coat.” He started to move, then paused. “Wait, what am I talking about? It’s July. You didn’t wear a coat.”
She forced a smile. “No coat.”
“Right. Let me, uh, go see if Caleb and Marcus need help cleaning up before we leave.”
Lily nodded, and Nick walked out of the kitchen. She stayed motionless for a moment to get her bearings. Her pulse had ramped into overdrive and she needed to bring herself back down to earth. No more getting physically closer to Nick. She obviously couldn’t be trusted in that regard. He didn’t want to date anyone, and she needed a date to the wedding. And more important, she wasn’t going to chase after someone who didn’t want to be involved with her. She just didn’t have the room in her heart to deal with another letdown after what had happened with Strick.