I studied him. The blood on his face was now dry and crackling. Yet he was still handsome, even under all that.
“You look quite the sight, sir,” I said.
“I look quite the sight,” he said, nodding.
“Do you know what all those are for?” I asked. I gestured to my face. “As in—what each thing they did to you means?”
“Some,” he said. “But most, ah—absolutely not. I don’t even know all the cults that just blessed me. It’s all a bit mad.”
“They said you’re firing the cannon. Is that true?”
“That is a little like assigning the death of a titan to one Legionnaire. I am part of the team that will be firing the cannon. It is monstrously complicated to do. But yes.”
“Then I wish you the emperor’s blessing, and all the luck of all the gods.”
“And I thank you,” he said, bowing, “but I admit, I am about as tired of hearing that as you’re likely tired of being congratulated on your success.”
I said nothing.
“Are you enjoying yourself?” he asked.
I thought about it. “No,” I said.
“No?” he said. “I thought I saw about two dozen officers walk up to shake your hand. And three were commanders, to my eye.”
“You must have been watching me closely then, sir.”
He smirked and let the comment hang. Then he said, “Why aren’t you enjoying yourself?”
Again, I considered what to say. “They all shook my hand,” I said finally. “Like we’d won. But we didn’t win. It all just fizzled as we got close. And many dirty folk who wrought so much death still go free. And…and everyone seems to know. Old Uhad walked up and chatted with me about it. Like it was dinner conversation. And I’m supposed to keep doing my duty. As if it wasn’t there, atop all I do.”
He watched me closely, his face sympathetic. “In the Legion they tell us to ask—do the walls still stand? Does the Empire persist? And if I can say yes to that, then I should feel satisfied with the day, and call it victory. We have to, I think. Otherwise, it’ll grind you down, Dinios.”
“All I feel,” I said, “is alone.”
The last few officers lingered at the gates of the courtyard, speaking in loud, drunken tones.
“You don’t have to feel alone,” said Strovi.
I looked at him. The moment stretched on. He tried to smile again, yet there was a desperation to it. I remembered then that whatever trials vexed me, Strovi’s were far greater. I felt suddenly ashamed, and hated the sight of such worry in his face and wished I could wipe it away like I might the oils and paints upon his brow and cheeks.
“There’s a bathing basin in my chamber,” I said.
He blinked at me, puzzled.
“I could get all that off for you,” I said. “I’d just be repaying a favor. I mean, you did it for me, once, in the mill. Sir.”
He blinked again, this time in surprise. “Oh,” he said.
Again, the moment stretched on. I felt mortified, suddenly convinced I’d overstepped. If the ground had cracked open before me I’d have gladly jumped into the chasm to hide from the shame.
Then, after a moment, Strovi said, “Are…are you sure?”
Relieved, I nodded, laughing faintly.
“Well…” He glanced around the courtyard and grinned. “Then lead on. And hurry, before someone else stops you to shake your ha—”
Then the drunken voices at the courtyard entrance went silent, replaced by the sound of the tramp of many boots.
Together we turned and saw a half-dozen Legion officers pouring in, their steel caps glinting as they looked about. I glanced at Strovi, thinking they were surely here for him.
“Ohh, what’s this?” said Strovi. “What’s happened now?”
One Legionnaire cupped a hand to his mouth and called, “Signum Dinios Kol! Is Signum Kol present?”
I sighed deeply. “Shit,” I said.
Strovi shut his eyes and sighed as well. “Ah…yes. Shit. Shit indeed.”
“Some other time?” I said.
He gestured at the dark skies. “If the fates will, certainly.”
I quietly cursed this day and this evening, then raised my hand and called, “I’m Kol.”
The Legionnaires trooped over to us. “You’re needed at the Apoth tower, sir,” the lead one said breathlessly. “Right away. Your immunis is already there waiting for you.”
“Ana’s out of her rooms?” I said. “What’s happened?”