“Fine, that’s fair.” When he speaks, some of the muddy water gets into his mouth, and he grimaces and spits it out. “Just get me out of here, and we can talk about this. I’ll do whatever you want me to do.”
“No,” I say quietly. “That’s not going to happen.”
“Eve!” The panic in his face has intensified. He starts struggling against his restraints. “You realize I’m going to drown in here, right? Please stop messing around! Whatever you want, I’ll give it to you. I’ll quit teaching, leave town. Whatever you want, okay?”
“Don’t worry,” I tell him. “I’m not going to let you drown.”
For a moment, his shoulders relax and he stops his struggle with the duct tape. “Good. Thank you. I know you wouldn’t.”
I pick up the shovel lying on the ground beside me. “I’m going to bury you first.”
With those words, I scoop up a shovelful of dirt, and I throw it on top of him.
“Eve!” he screams. “Jesus Christ, what is wrong with you? Have you lost your mind?”
I scoop up more dirt and throw it into the hole.
“Eve!” His face is bright red. “Eve, sweetheart, I’m so sorry for everything! I love you! You have to know that! You can’t do this to me!”
And another scoop of dirt goes into the hole.
“Eve!” he gasps. “Don’t do this to me! Eve! Eve!”
Nate is thrashing now in the grave, trying to get free. But he isn’t going to. I tied him up much too tightly. I’m about to scoop in more dirt when Jay grabs my arm. He tugs me away, out of the earshot of my husband.
“Eve,” he says. “You’re going to kill him.”
I lift my chin. “I know.”
Jay glances over at the grave, where my husband is screaming his lungs out, even though nobody can hear him but us. “He’s right. It won’t solve your problems to kill him.”
“You’d be surprised.”
His brows bunch together. “Are you sure you want to do this?”
“I’ve never been so sure of anything in my life.”
Jay stares at me for a moment, then he picks up his own shovel. He walks back with me to the grave. And when I scoop up some dirt and throw it in the hole, he does the same.
“Eve!” Nate screams. “For the love of God, Eve, don’t do this! You can’t do this!”
I can and I will. Two more scoops of dirt go into the hole.
“You’ll go to jail. You know that, right? You’re going to spend the rest of your life rotting in jail, you crazy bitch!”
Two more scoops of dirt. One of them hits him in the face, and he starts to sob.
“Please, Eve.” His left eye is obscured by mud as he stares up at me. “Please don’t do this, Evie. I’m begging you. Please…”
Nate once said to me that he thinks death is like being on the precipice of an abyss, or some pretentious garbage like that. He was terrified of death, more than anything else in the world. I don’t know if I believe in an afterlife, but if I do, I am certain that my husband will spend the rest of it burning in hell.
He alternates between begging us to stop and screaming threats until the mud completely covers his face. Shortly after that, he goes blessedly silent. We keep shoveling in dirt until the hole is completely filled. And as I put the finishing touches on my husband’s grave in the woods, I recite to myself the poem he once wrote for me many years ago, back when I was fifteen years old and he was my English teacher fresh out of college who swore to me I was his soulmate:
Life nearly passed me by
Then she
Young and alive
With smooth hands
And pink cheeks
Showed me myself
Took away my breath
With cherry-red lips
Gave me life once again
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Epilogue
ADDIE
SIX MONTHS LATER
WHEN I GET to the school parking lot, Hudson is leaning against his car, talking to some of his football buddies, even though the season is over. I watched every single game, and Hudson killed it. He deserves the title of star quarterback. He’s going to get a scholarship to a great college—they’re all going to be fighting over him.
When Hudson sees me, he raises a hand in greeting. “Addie!” he calls out, as if I could possibly miss him.
I jog the rest of the way over, a dopey smile plastered on my face. I’m smiling a lot more lately. Ever since I got my best friend back, the world seems a lot brighter. I’m still not Miss Popularity, but I don’t care. Hudson is all I ever needed.