And then another terrible thought occurs to me.
If Nathaniel did kill his wife, I am the only other person who knows exactly what happened tonight. He is now counting on a teenage girl not to blab to the police. And we drove out here together in his car, and I texted my mother half an hour ago that I was about to go to sleep and all was well. Nobody knows I’m here with him.
In many ways, killing me right now would be the smart thing for him to do.
“Nate,” I whisper. “Please…”
His eyes look like black holes. “Please what?”
I imagine his fingers closing around his wife’s neck, cutting off her air. “Please don’t…”
My knees wobble, and I’m scared they might give way. I’m scared to breathe. Actually, I’m even more scared I might pee in my pants. But then just when I can’t stand it another millisecond, Nate shakes his head and steps into a slice of moonlight, which makes his eyes look normal again.
“Stop being ridiculous, Addie,” he says. “You know I didn’t kill her. You did.”
I swallow. “Oh. Right.”
“Jesus, stop letting your imagination run wild.”
“Sorry,” I mumble.
As my thudding heart slowly returns to a normal pace, I try to tell myself he’s right. I’m definitely imagining things. Nathaniel wouldn’t strangle his wife to death. He wouldn’t.
And if he did—if those finger marks belonged to him—he totally had a good reason. If he did it, it was to protect me. To protect us. I trust him.
I think I do, at least.
He stares down at the dirt, as if contemplating his next move. I don’t want to lie down in this grave—I really, really don’t. Finally, he lifts one of his shoulders. “Okay. I’m sure the hole is big enough.”
Oh, thank God.
“Hey, listen,” he says. “I just remembered that I never grabbed her purse from the trunk. It would probably be better if we threw that in here with her. We can power down her phone.”
“Okay.”
He glances at his watch. “Let me go grab it. I’ll be right back.”
“I’ll go with you.”
Nathaniel gives me a look like I’m stupid. “Addie, you have to keep digging. We’ve got to get this done. I told you—I’ll be right back.”
I don’t want to be left here alone in this stupid pumpkin graveyard. But it’s clear from Nathaniel’s expression that he is not going to let me tag along with him. And he does have a point. I need to keep digging.
“Hurry back,” I say.
“I promise I will.” He gives me a long look. “Remember, whatever else happens: deny everything.”
With those words of wisdom, he climbs out of the hole. He retrieves his coat from where he abandoned it in the dirt, and he slides it back on over his shoulders. I watch him walk away until the sound of his boots crunching on the leaves vanishes into the wind.
OceanofPDF.com
Chapter Sixty-One
ADDIE
AN HOUR. It’s been an hour.
I have added an extra foot of depth to our makeshift grave, but Nathaniel has not returned. There is no universe in which it would take him an entire hour to walk back to his car and then back to the pumpkin patch again.
So where is he?
“Nathaniel?” I call out. I don’t want to start screaming his name, but I need to find him. First of all, he’s my ride home. And second of all, where the hell is he? It was no more than a fifteen-minute walk back to the car.
Is it possible that he got back in the car and simply left?
No, it’s not possible. Nathaniel wouldn’t do that to me. He wouldn’t just abandon me.
I climb out of the hole, the knee of my jeans squishing into a rotten pumpkin. The hole might be big enough, but I’m not certain. I assumed Nathaniel would tell me.
“Nathaniel!” I call out again, my voice echoing through the woods.
No answer.
I want to try to look for him, but I’m so turned around, I’m not even sure what direction to go in. If I leave this site, I’m not certain I’ll ever find it again.
Eve Bennett’s body is still wrapped in that navy-blue sheet. If Nathaniel isn’t here, I have to put her in there. After all, that’s why we’re doing this.
I crouch down beside her body. I don’t want to touch her. I know it’s stupid. You can’t catch dead. When I left my father lying at the foot of the stairs, I didn’t want to touch him either. It was Hudson who checked to see if he was still breathing.