“What about Dax?”
That’s the question that’s burning a hole in my stomach so bad that I can’t even look at the box of doughnuts. “I don’t know what’s going to happen with him. Our relationship is different back home. There’s a strong possibility he’s dating a veterinarian’s assistant.”
“Do you think he wants more?”
Another question that I can’t answer.
I think back to the last time I saw Dax in my old life. The whole event is still hazy in my head, but the one thing that’s clear is the feeling I had. That catch in my chest that came with the idea that maybe, just maybe, Dax and I might be finally acknowledging that we were something more than friends.
I’m pretty sure I told him I loved him.
I’m also pretty sure he told me sex would change everything.
It’s hard to separate out the feelings and the facts.
What I do know is that we kissed.
Then he left.
Although I don’t want to admit it, isn’t that my answer?
“I just don’t think he’s looking to change things between us.”
“And yet you still want to go back?”
I nod, tears spilling down my cheeks. “I love him too much to stay.”
Her arm comes around my shoulder, and she pulls me into a hug as my cute little tears morph into a full-blown ugly cry.
“It’s gonna be okay, Gems. I have a feeling it’s all gonna work out.”
“You can’t know that.”
She releases me but tilts my face so I have nowhere to look but her eyes. “You’re right. I can’t. I do not possess any sort of psychic ability. You are the only one in the family to inherit the weird paranormal shit. Well, I have suspicions about Aunt Livi. She’s been way too calm over the last few weeks. But let’s park that for a moment. There is one thing I know well, and that’s you. I’ve known you for twenty-eight years and loved you for most of them. You’re smart and resourceful, and when you trust in yourself and what you want, you make it happen. Now, I can’t promise you’ll end up with Dax. But I’ve watched you find real love over these last few weeks, and I don’t think you’ll settle for any less than that. You’re done with kissing Stuarts. And I hope it works out for you. This universe has thrown some fucked-up shit your way lately. In my opinion, it owes you a solid.”
I dive back into the comfort of another Kiersten hug. “I love you, Kierst.”
She pats the back of my head. “I love you too. Please pass this karma on to me in your other life.”
“I will.”
“And since we’re still in this life, please pass me another doughnut.”
Chapter 28
Tonight is the night. Time is up. It’s the end of the road. We’re in the bottom of the ninth. Elvis is putting on his blue suedes and preparing to leave the building.
I have a plan. Aunt Livi is away for the weekend at a book fair. Kiersten has assured me that Livi’s fridge is stocked with chicken, there’s a white candle on the counter, and pink yarn is ready and waiting. I’ll have to invent on the spot a reason why Dax needs to bind my hands, but he hasn’t balked at any of the other sex stuff I’ve suggested thus far in our relationship, so I’m confident I can make it happen.
But now comes the hard part. The part when I have to say goodbye to everything I’ve loved in this life, starting with my second-hardest farewell.
“You are beautiful and perfect, and fuck, you smell like a dream.”
My store doesn’t answer because it’s a store, but a weird sense of calm washes over me. “This isn’t goodbye,” I whisper to a bottle of sea salt grapefruit body scrub, “this is until we meet again, and we will, I promise.”
I take one last deep inhale, lock the door behind me, and head home to get ready for the party.
I never thought I’d ever get nostalgic about my creepy basement. But as I walk around my tiny apartment one last time, an uncomfortable ball forms in the back of my throat. Goodbye, tiny kitchen. Farewell, living-room-slash-dining-room-slash-bedroom.
I pull it together when it comes time to use the bathroom for the last time, that is, until I lay eyes on my eight-legged arachnid friend, dangling in the corner of my shower.
“Frank, you’ve been the best roommate I’ve ever had. I’m grateful we set aside our differences and coordinated our shower schedules. I hope you have a great life.”
I’m very aware that things have gotten a bit ridiculous. When my eyes start to brim with tears, I take it as a sign that I need to rip off the proverbial Band-Aid and head to the party.