“You have got to be shitting me.”
It’s a lot of money. Money I don’t have. The kind of money I only think about when I go to buy milk at the corner store and see the weekly Lotto 6/49 numbers at the cashier counter.
Why the hell did she ever think I’d be able to come up with this type of cash?
I read the paper again, giving my brain time to process the entire plan. Priya wants to open three new spas over the next seven years. That means three more Wilde Beauties, each with its own lease. I could probably come up with the money for one if I ate nothing but ramen and learned to make my own coffee. But three! That’s an astronomical amount of money.
Priya returns. She brings me a cool glass of cucumber-and-mint-infused water as she dives back into some proposed next steps. I’m fairly certain I only process half of it.
“Take all the time you need to think this over, Gemma,” she says, handing me a full binder of information. “I’ll be in touch next week to see where you’re at.”
Somehow I move my body up from my seat, out of her office, and back to the front lobby. It feels like I’ve just been in an accident. I’m in shock. It’s as if my head has become detached from my body, and the two are operating separately from each other. It’s a small miracle that I can open the front door and step outside.
Dax sits at the bottom of the steps, eyes closed, face turned up to the sun. I don’t think I make a noise, but his eyes open, and he turns toward where I’m still lingering by the door.
“Hey, how’d it go?” he asks.
I don’t answer. But the warmth in his eyes wills my feet down the steps, where I melt down next to him.
“You look a little out of it there, Gems.” He brushes the hair from my neck, then his fingers make massaging circles into the muscles I only realize now are so tense they feel like boulders.
“Just give me a sec. My entire life is flashing before my eyes. I’m hoping it gets to the part where I see your giant penis for the first time, so at least the whole experience will have a silver lining.”
Dax laughs. “Meeting go that well?”
I draw three long, cleansing breaths before opening my eyes and looking at him. “It started off so great. Priya is so smart. I could see her vision perfectly and how well Wilde Beauty would fit into her space. I get why she’s excited about the idea. But then we started talking about the money. And then, all of a sudden, I was envisioning all of these terrible scenarios. One of which was me standing out on the street with Frank in a little glass jar and me wearing nothing but a barrel with these straps on the shoulders, which is stupid, I know, because why would the bank try to repossess my ratty old Abercrombie sweatshirt? They’d for sure let me keep my clothes, right?”
Dax’s arm comes behind my back. He sucks me into that little nook under his armpit that always has this magical ability to make me feel safe. I stay there for what feels like hours as the adrenaline in my bloodstream slowly starts to dissipate.
“I think I’m okay now,” I whisper, and he releases me.
“I brought you these.” He reaches to the step below and produces a to-go cup that I assume is coffee and a brown paper bag with grease spots seeping through. I open it and find a frosted vanilla doughnut covered in coconut flakes.
“It might not be a Nana’s doughnut, but Google said they’re pretty good.”
“Thank you,” I say, my mouth already half-full of baked deliciousness.
“I’ve learned Gemma Wilde isn’t her best self when her blood sugar is low.” He laughs, but he’s definitely not wrong.
“You ready to tell me more or do you need to finish your coffee first?”
I hold up a finger as I guzzle half of the oat latte. Each sip makes me feel that much better.
“It was a really good meeting, right up until the end.” I attempt to explain it all again. “I knew it would be a lot of money, but seeing the numbers on paper really triggered a reaction. I think I could get the loan. But if things didn’t work out, I’d be completely screwed, and I’d have nothing, and that thought is totally terrifying.”
Dax doesn’t respond right away. He lifts my coffee to my lips and waits until I finish the entire thing. “You’re right. It’s terrifying. Working your ass off for something and seeing it not work out kills you a little inside. But do you know what happens next?”
I shake my head, and little coconut flakes fall into my lap.
Dax brushes the remaining ones from my lips with his thumb. “You get up the next morning, and you start working on a new plan. And yes, the world sucks for a while until you figure the next thing out, but you will figure it out, Gemma. You’re a smart woman.” His thumb moves upward on my face and wipes a single tear I didn’t realize had fallen.