“If anything could spark a change in Jacks, I think it could be his feelings for you,” said LaLa eventually. “But you still need to be careful. Because even his feelings are dangerous.”
“I know.”
“Do you?” LaLa looked at her seriously, her vivid eyes narrowed with concern.
There were three rules about Fates that Evangeline had been taught as a child. The most important of those rules was to never ever fall in love with a Fate.
Evangeline knew this rule, but she hadn’t thought about it for a while, and she wasn’t sure she’d properly understood it before.
But now it was making a new kind of sense. Earlier, when Evangeline had regained her memories but once again lost Jacks, she’d started to fear that maybe he was right and that they weren’t meant to be.
If they were truly meant for each other, shouldn’t it have been easier? Shouldn’t there have been less bloodshed and heartbreak and people trying to tear them apart? Shouldn’t love have won already?
But maybe the reason for the warning about falling in love with Fates wasn’t because loving a Fate could never work, but because it was so much harder. Nearly impossible.
All LaLa wanted was love, yet she was the one who kept leaving her grooms at the altar. Even now, after finally being reunited with her dragon shifter, LaLa didn’t seem to be sure that she wanted to be with him anymore.
Evangeline had once heard that Fates were not capable of love in the same way as humans. She’d taken it to mean they couldn’t feel the emotion. But she wondered if this also meant that Fates didn’t believe in love in the same way. Maybe they believed love with humans was doomed, and then acted in ways that brought that doom about.
“I’m not giving up on Jacks,” Evangeline said.
LaLa briefly pursed her lips. “That’s a very human thing to say.”
“I can’t tell if that’s a compliment or an insult.”
“I think it’s a bit of both.” LaLa gave her another half hearted smile. “I know you like to do the right thing, but the right thing doesn’t always win with our kind. I think that was part of the reason Jacks became a Fate. He’d always tried to do the right thing as a human, but it didn’t seem to matter, and the people he loved the most kept dying.”
LaLa paused to frown. “I want to be supportive. I really do love lost causes and terrible ideas. But I fear that if you try to save Jacks, you will die, too. I know you have your memories back, but just in case you need a reminder, Jacks is a supernatural being who will kill you if you ever kiss him.”
“Or,” Evangeline offered, “I could kiss Jacks, and he could finally see that he is not going to kill me.”
“No, no, no!” LaLa said furiously. “This is the world’s worst plan.”
“But what if it’s not? I know what the stories say about Jacks’s kiss being fatal to all except for his one true love—and I know he’s supposedly already kissed that one girl. But I also know the stories here lie and twist the truth, so that could be a lie. I am Jacks’s true love. I believe it with the same confidence that I believe that water fills the oceans and morning follows the night. I believe it with all my heart and soul. And there has to be some sort of magic in that.”
“I don’t think that’s how magic works.” LaLa looked at her sadly. “Believing something doesn’t make it true.”
“But what if the reason I believe this is because it is true? I know the stories all say otherwise, but my heart keeps telling me that Jacks’s story isn’t finished.”
LaLa continued to frown as she toyed with one of the buttons of her coat. “His story might not be over yet, but that doesn’t mean it’s going to end happily. I’ve known Jacks forever. He is excellent at getting what he wants. But I don’t think Jacks wants a happily ever after. If he wanted that, he could have it. But there’s a reason he doesn’t.”
“Well then, it’s a good thing he has me.”
LaLa looked as if she wanted to argue.
“I know I seem naive,” Evangeline pressed on. “I know my faith in love might appear foolish. I also know it might not be enough. But I’m not doing this because I believe I’ll win. I’m actually a little afraid I’m going to lose. I no longer think love is a guarantee of victory or of happily ever after. But I think it’s a reason to fight for those things. I know my attempt to save Jacks could end in a fiery explosion, but I’d rather go up in flames with him than watch while he burns.”
At this, LaLa finally smiled. “This is perhaps the worst declaration of love I’ve ever heard, but I do believe your passion deserves a toast.” She picked up two goblets of wine from the table and handed one to Evangeline. “To foolish hearts and fire! May you and Jacks only ever burn with passion and desire.”
Chapter 34
Evangeline
After toasting, Evangeline and LaLa drank a little more wine than they probably should have.
Evangeline didn’t usually drink, but despite all the bold words she had said to LaLa, Evangeline was quite terrified that she might tell Jacks that she loved him, and then he still might leave her.
She had been turned to stone, poisoned, shot with arrows, flayed by a magical curse, and nearly killed over half a dozen times. But all those things didn’t scare her as much as the idea of Jacks deciding that he didn’t want to love her back.
Evangeline knew that LaLa was right, Jacks was excellent at getting what he wanted. When Jacks made up his mind, there was no changing it. The only thing that could make Jacks stay was Jacks.
“Having second thoughts?” asked LaLa.
“No,” Evangeline said. “In fact, I have an escape plan.”
Earlier, as LaLa had toyed with the buttons of her coat, an idea had come to Evangeline that didn’t involve swords or fire or anything related to fighting.
“That could work.” LaLa tapped her chin thoughtfully upon hearing Evangeline’s proposed plan. “You could leave right before the changing of your guard, when these guards are tired. I could escape right after the new guards arrive. They’ll have no idea that I hadn’t been properly let in. And they’ll be too dazzled by my beauty to question it.”
Evangeline’s head was spinning a bit now. She’d definitely had too much wine. It was all a bit of a blur as she put on LaLa’s clothes and LaLa raided Evangeline’s trunks until she found a shimmering off-the-shoulder gown that definitely looked dazzling.
After that, LaLa took pains to tuck Evangeline’s hair under a cap. Then she darkened the roots with some of the table wine, just enough to change her appearance at a glance.
“If the guards look too long, they’ll recognize you,” warned LaLa. “So try to be quick—but not suspicious quick.”
“I don’t think I could be suspicious quick right now if I wanted to,” said Evangeline. But she also couldn’t dally much longer. The guards would be changing soon. If she wanted to leave, this was her window.
“I’ll be close behind you,” LaLa said. “And don’t forget this.” She handed Evangeline a map that she’d drawn of Merrywood Forest—it was mostly just a bunch of triangles for trees with a line cutting through them that led to a circle labeled the glowing spring. The plan was for them to reunite there, and then together they would search for Jacks.