“Of course.”
I smiled. “Why didn’t you tell me you could shift into a wolf?”
Thick lashes lowered, shielding his gaze. “I didn’t know if it would…disturb you.”
“Why would you think that?”
He shrugged one shoulder and cleared his throat. When his lashes lifted, the vulnerability in his expression struck me. “Most would be at least unsettled by another’s ability to change into a beast.”
“Some would probably be a little freaked out by it, but I’m not most people.”
“No,” he murmured. “You are not.”
“And a wolf is not a beast. A dakkai? Yes. That’s a beast to me.” I traced the line of his collarbone. “A wolf is beautiful.” My gaze met his. “You are beautiful in that form.”
“Thank you.”
I tapped my fingers on his skin. “I find all your forms beautiful. This one. The wolf. When you go full Primal.”
“Full Primal?”
I nodded, dragging my lower lip between my teeth. “When your skin resembles shadowstone, and you do that smoky, shadow thing.”
Eather intensified, churning wildly in his eyes. “I think I know exactly which part of the full Primal form you find so…beautiful.”
My cheeks flushed as my mind immediately flashed to the night Ash had been drawn to me as I pleasured myself. Those smoky tendrils of shadow energy he controlled were definitely beautiful. And wicked. And highly arousing. My stomach clenched in the most delicious way, just remembering that night.
Gods, I really couldn’t think of that right now, even if I was still so damn relieved and thrilled that I could. That I could feel desire. But other things needed to be handled. Important things that did not involve those scandalous wisps of eather or any of our body parts.
I squared my shoulders. “We probably need to get going.”
“Yeah.” He tipped his head back. “But you’ll need clothing to do so.”
Glancing around the cavern, I raised a brow. “I think we’re out of luck when it comes to that.”
“I’ll retrieve some for you,” he said, reminding me that he was so much younger than the other Primals and couldn’t manifest clothing like Attes could. “It’ll take a few minutes, if that. Enjoy a little more time here.”
That meant he would shadowstep. He was going to leave. My stomach pitched, and gods, I couldn’t stop the burst of panic. “I can put the gown back on.”
“I don’t ever want to see you in that again.” The eather whipped across his eyes. “And it has nothing to do with the blood all over it. That is the only part of the gown I like.”
“Because it’s Kolis’s blood?” I guessed.
He nodded.
“Savage,” I murmured, my fingers pressing into his chest. “What if something happens to you? What if you don’t come back, and I’m stuck here? Don’t get me wrong, it’s beautiful, but I don’t think I can eat lilacs or—”
“Nothing will happen to me. Nor will you need to eat the lilacs—and please don’t attempt that.” A hint of amusement crept into his tone. “Nothing will happen. You are safe here, Sera. I promise.”
I knew I was. No one even knew about this cavern. “It’s not me I’m worried about.”
“You don’t need to worry about me, liessa.” He brushed the backs of his knuckles across my cheek. “It is unlikely Kolis has even begun to recover.”
Heart thumping, I nodded.
“It’s okay to be afraid.” He touched my lower lip. “But I would not leave you if I thought, for even one second, it was unwise.”
“I’m not afraid,” I lied yet again, and once more he knew it, because I was scared. Of not seeing him again. Of something going wrong. Of being alone. Of the gods only knew what else.
But I also never wanted to see the gown again. I did need clothing—preferably something that wasn’t see-through. And we also didn’t have time for me to have a breakdown.
“Okay,” I said, but Ash hesitated, his eyes searching mine. “I’m okay.” I pushed out of his lap, letting myself drift back into the water. “Go.”
“Only a few minutes,” he promised as he rose, rivulets running down his soaked leather pants.
The weight of the water caused them to hang low on his hips, revealing the indents on either side. I bit my lip, reminding myself that while he looked indecently erotic, he had to be so uncomfortable.
“Make sure you get something dry to wear for yourself.”
One side of his lips kicked up. There was a flicker of white mist, and then Ash was gone.
Breathe in.
I looked around the dimly lit cavern. Hold. Other than the water, it was quiet. Breathe out. Exactly how far underground was I? Hold. Probably not the best thing to think about. Turning in the water, I nibbled on my lip as I crept forward, my heart slowing as the water gently spun around me. I stopped a few feet from the boulder Ash had pointed out. The water reached just above my chest as he’d said. I stood still, letting myself soak in the feel of the warm, frothing water. It foamed at my sides and beneath the surface, bubbles dancing wildly over my hips and legs. I looked down, realizing I had crossed my arms tightly over my chest.
Gods.
I loosened my stance as I breathed in the sweet air. Above me, I heard the faint chatter of birds, and for a few moments, I just listened to them. How long had it been since I’d heard birds? Weeks? Even longer, actually. Outside of the hawks, there was no such life in the Shadowlands.
No such life…
Clearing my mind, I searched for Sotoria’s presence. I didn’t necessarily feel her, but I knew she was still there. “I…I don’t know what you’ve been aware of,” I said quietly. “But I’m going to get you out of me. You’re not going to be trapped.”
I felt a thudding sensation then, almost like a second heartbeat. It had to be her.
“We’re going to put you in something, and then…” Then what? My lips pursed as I eyed the scattered holes of light overhead. “I don’t know exactly how all this will work, but I know that Attes will make sure you’re taken care of, and see that you find peace again.” Emotion clogged my throat. “Okay?”
I didn’t hear her, but hearing her voice was rare. There was another soft, strange thud, and I took that as her acknowledging what I’d—
A sharp, pulsing ache came without warning, lancing across my face from my temples. Sucking in a gasp, I went completely still as a metallic taste filled my mouth.
Hand trembling, I parted my lips and gently prodded the roof of my mouth with a finger. I looked down. Blood dotted the skin.
I quickly lowered my hand under the water as I swallowed, wincing at the metallic taste on my tongue. The pang of pain receded to its standard dull ache.
Glancing back at the bank, I surveyed the shadows before letting myself slip under the surface.
Warm, rolling water rushed over my head and erupted into whirling bubbles all around me. I did what I always did when in my lake. I stayed underwater, my thoughts emptying until there was nothing there. This time, though, I didn’t stay until my lungs started to burn. I didn’t get to that point because I felt the hum of a Primal. My heart lurched, even though I knew it had to be Ash. I pushed off the ground, breaking the surface.