“You didn’t answer my question,” Kolis reminded me. “Why did you ask about my nephew?”
“I told you. I was just—”
“Curious. That is what you said, but I have ears and eyes, so’lis. I heard your scream when I took him down. Saw the terror in your expression and eyes.” He shifted, hooking one leg over the other. “You have never screamed in terror for me.”
I blinked, my mouth opening again.
“Careful,” he murmured. Tension crept into my muscles. His smirk returned. “I have not known this version of you long, but I can already tell when you’re about to say something very unwise.”
Snapping my mouth shut, I winced at the flare of pain in my jaw. Across from me, brackets framed Kolis’s mouth. He looked away, a lock of hair falling across his cheek just as…as Ash’s hair was apt to do.
I took another drink, careful to avoid the tender skin of my lip as I quickly thought about what to say. Once again, I knew I needed to be smart when it came to speaking about Ash. My thoughts raced, thinking about what Kolis could already know. He wouldn’t believe that I felt nothing for Nyktos, but I also knew I couldn’t let him know how deep my feelings for him ran. I had no idea exactly how Kolis would respond if he learned that I was in love with his nephew, but I knew it wouldn’t be good for Ash or me.
“I’m…fond of him—”
A roll of thunder echoed from outside, drawing my gaze to the ceiling as the walls of the chamber shook. Okay, maybe that was a bad way to start.
“Speak,” he demanded, his eyes aglow with eather as the air in the cage became thick and heavy. “Or are you unable to do so because you seek to speak a lie?”
Anger bubbled up like the fruity water in my glass, but displaying that would get me nowhere. I lowered my gaze. “No, it’s just that you scared me.”
A moment passed, and the oppressive energy seemed to lift from the space around us. “That was not my intention.”
Words crept up my throat. I knew what to do. Be understanding. Smiling would also be good. I should apologize. Above all else, I needed to reassure him that he’d done nothing wrong.
But the words that made it to the tip of my tongue didn’t make it past my lips. I couldn’t even manage a smile.
Damn it, this was easier said than done.
“As you were saying?” Kolis persisted.
“I was saying that I have a fondness for him. He’s been kind to me,” I added quickly. “And he kept me safe.”
Kolis’s flesh started to glow from within. A heartbeat passed, and then the empty flute shattered in his hand, turning to nothing and causing me to jump.
Good gods, this Primal needed to get a grip.
“I do not want to see him harmed because of that,” I forged on. “But he…he never wanted me.”
“Never wanted you?” he queried softly. “I’ve never known Nyktos to be possessive of anyone or anything. Until you.”
“It’s because of the embers,” I said, knowing I was taking a huge risk. A major one. “And what his father did.”
“Do tell.”
I took another sip of my water, willing my heart to slow. “Nyktos didn’t know what his father did, how Eythos placed the embers in my bloodline. He didn’t even know that his father had taken an ember of life from him.”
Kolis’s unwavering stare latched on to mine. “I would prefer it if you didn’t lie.”
“I’m not,” I said, frustration seeping into my tone because that was the truth. “All he knew was that his father made a deal with a mortal King, agreeing to save his kingdom in exchange for a bride from his bloodline. He didn’t know why. And he was never told.”
Kolis said nothing.
After a moment, I decided that the lack of response meant it was okay to continue. “But he was drawn to me—to the ember,” I amended quickly. “The part of him that is in me. It connects us, and I suppose it can make one feel a…a certain way. But he doesn’t want me. He never did.” What felt like a gaping wound opened in my chest. “What he feels for me is based on duty and honor.”
The Primal sighed. “Has he fucked you?”
I inhaled sharply, my muscles coiling with tension. What he asked was none of his business, but I knew better than to say that or lie. Still, speaking the truth wasn’t any smarter. There was no good way to answer that question.
“Yes.” I forced a casual shrug. “We are attracted to each other, but he’s not the only person I’ve been attracted to—” The clap of thunder came again, much louder this time. “Or that I’ve been with. It’s not like he loves me.”
“See,” Kolis drawled, the churning eather slowing in his flesh. “I’m not so sure about that. You do not kill for another unless love is involved.”
I frowned. “People kill for every reason and no reason—”
“Mortals kill for every reason and no reason,” he corrected. “Not Primals.”
“Really?” I couldn’t keep the dryness from my tone.
That strange smile of his appeared. “Every life I’ve ever taken, I did so because of love.”
“And that is the only thing love has ever inspired in you?” I asked before I could stop myself. “Death?”
Deep grooves appeared between his brows. A moment passed. “Yes.”
“I…” I fell silent. Was he serious? I thought he was. Gods, that was so damn messed up and sad—tragic, actually. I felt an unsteady sensation in my chest because it made me think of what I’d done for my mother. I loathed the woman, yet I loved her, and all I ever did for her was kill. I imagined if that were my only experience with love, I would think the same.
Damn.
It struck me then that until I met Ash, my views on love were less demented than Kolis’s, but they hadn’t been that much different.
Glancing over at him, I sighed. “Then I’m sorry.”
Something like surprise flickered across his face, smoothing out the creases between his brows. “You have never apologized to me.”
I stilled, half-expecting to hear Sotoria’s voice, but she remained quiet.
“So, why would you do so now?” he asked.
“I…I don’t know much about love, or anything really,” I said, and that was also the damn truth. “But love should inspire one to indulge in more than just violence and death.”
He watched me in silence for several moments. “You’re right.”
I was?
I was.
Swallowing the rest of the fruity water, I sort of wished it was liquor—hard whiskey.
“But,” he said, causing my pulse to speed up even more, “I know that love inspires great acts of reckless violence, much like the kind my nephew engaged in.”
“I know what you’re getting at.” I bent, placing the flute on the tile beside my feet. “But Nyktos cannot love me.”
“What are you saying? That you’re unlovable?” He lifted a brow. “Based solely on your mouth and disagreeable temper, I wouldn’t argue against that assessment.”
My eyes narrowed. “Well, that was kind of rude.”