Something I’d rather not acknowledge flashed in Kolis’s stare. “Deal.”
I nodded, relieved.
“You’re no longer needed,” Kolis said to Kyn. “Rhain’s transport will be handled by another.”
“As you wish, Your Majesty.” Kyn bowed. As he straightened, he looked at me with a blade-thin smile and a look…
A look that said exactly what he knew would happen.
Even though he was unconscious, I couldn’t look at Rhain. So, I busied myself with pouring a glass of water as Kolis called for Elias to send for Callum. They took Rhain from the chamber in silence. I didn’t know how long he’d be out, but I hoped it was long enough for him to be taken from…well, wherever I was in Dalos.
Kolis and I were alone.
He watched me. “Anything?”
I took a long drink and then faced him, but I wasn’t me. I wasn’t truly here anymore. So, it didn’t matter when I nodded.
Kolis positively glowed. “Then, tonight, we will share the same bed.”
Shortly after what I could only assume was suppertime, the Chosen once more prepared a bath for me. I didn’t think about anything as I bathed, likely on Kolis’s orders. Nor did I think about anything when I saw the slinky, ankle-length, gold nightgown on the bed.
The bed.
I hadn’t slept in it yet.
I sat on the divan and waited, hollow and blank, until Kolis returned. He was alone, dressed in those loose linen pants with damp hair. It appeared he, too, had bathed.
Kolis crossed the chamber and entered the cage, finally speaking. “If you are who you claim, you are far bolder than you were before.”
“How so?” I asked, even though I had a good idea what he meant.
“You never spoke your mind or shared your opinion, at least not at first,” he explained.
Sotoria’s presence stirred as a little surprise flickered through me. “I imagine a lot of that has to do with the times being different.”
“You imagine?” His head tilted. “But you don’t know. Because you cannot remember.”
I shook my head.
Kolis didn’t say anything for a long moment. “Is what I requested of you a surprise?”
Was it? No. Not in the way he likely meant.
“Will you not be bold now and speak your mind?” he asked.
I could be far bolder than his imagination could conjure because this wasn’t me. I looked up at him. “You offered me to Kyn, so your request was a bit surprising.”
“I offered you to him only if you are not who you say you are,” he replied. “If that is not the case, then it should be of no concern to you.”
He really thought that made a difference? Whether or not I was Sotoria, I was still a person—I stopped myself. He did think that made a difference, and it…it didn’t matter.
Several more moments passed. “What you said earlier…” His chin lifted. “It was wise advice. Releasing one of Nyktos’s men does show that I’m reasonable and fair.”
A laugh bubbled up in my throat, but I proved that I was wise by not letting it break free.
“And that I am…how did you put it? Worthy of loyalty.” Eather sluiced across his features. “You will be happy to learn that I’ve been advised Rhain has made it back to the Shadowlands, no more harmed than when he left.”
The only thing I allowed myself to feel then was relief. “Thank you.”
“I hope I do not regret this if what you’ve said ends up being a fabrication,” he said. And he would when that happened. I couldn’t regret it, though. Rhain lived. “And that my benevolence is remembered,” he continued.
“It will be,” I lied smoothly. I was nothing but lies now. This wasn’t me anymore. I wasn’t really here. Nothing I said or did mattered.
Kolis was quiet and still for a moment, then he extended an arm, gesturing to the bed. “The divan will not suit us.”
I rose on steady legs, passed him, and sat on the bed, feeling the soft mattress.
He watched me like a hawk. “Lie down.”
This isn’t me. I reclined. I’m not here. Easing onto my side, I stared ahead. None of this matters.
Kolis remained standing. Seconds ticked by. I closed my eyes, not wanting to catch any hints of what he was thinking. Time continued to pass. I didn’t hear him move. I only felt the bed dip, and the heat of his presence.
I squeezed my eyes closed until I saw stars bursting behind my lids.
His chest touched my back.
This isn’t me.
His arm went around my waist. A shudder went through him.
I’m not here.
His presence, the stale lilac scent, and the feel of him, tainted my skin and stained my bones.
None of this matters.
I watched Callum from where I sat at my little table. He was stretched out on the couch, his feet resting on an arm as he caught the dagger he repeatedly tossed into the air.
With his eyes closed.
I was reluctantly impressed…and also reminded of Bele doing the same as the seamstress fitted me for my coronation gown. That felt like a lifetime ago. Yawning, I toyed with the edge of a napkin.
“Did you not get much sleep last night?” Callum asked.
“Tons,” I lied.
Kolis and I had shared the bed.
And that was all we’d done.
Well, all I had done. Kolis had slept, and he’d done so peacefully. I, on the other hand, had only slept for about an hour. And only after Kolis left in what I assumed was the morning. I’d pretended to be asleep. Having spent the entire night tense with my eyes wide open, my body caved to exhaustion the moment he left the cage.
It was hours later, and I still couldn’t believe nothing had happened last night. When Kolis made his request, he had meant it in the most literal sense.
Share a bed.
I shook my head slightly. Perhaps he wasn’t attracted to me.
I wished that were the case.
Unfortunately, I knew better. I’d seen how he looked at me the day before.
My focus shifted to the plate of barely touched sliced meats and fruits in front of me. Kolis hadn’t even held me all that tightly throughout the night. Not like Ash. Not even like he had when he hadn’t intended to—
I didn’t want to think about Ash and sharing a bed with Kolis. My palms dampened, and I wiped them on the napkin. I didn’t want those two things to ever occupy my mind simultaneously. Because despite nothing occurring last night, I still felt…gross.
Gods, I didn’t want to think about that either. I focused on Callum. He was still entertaining himself with the dagger. I had more important things to dwell on. Like whether Rhain had been able to communicate anything to Aios.
I reached up, touching the delicate silver chain encircling my neck. When the Chosen woke me as they entered the chamber, I’d discovered that Kolis had left something for me on the pillow his head had rested upon.
Aios’s necklace.
I hoped I had a chance to return it to her.
I would.
I truly didn’t believe Rhain had been attempting to find me. He was loyal and brave enough to risk his life for Ash. Not for me.
“You’re quiet today,” Callum commented.
“I forgot you were even here,” I lied. It was impossible not to know he was there as he snatched the dagger out of the air just before the blade was about to sink into his chest.