I did, but that was beside the point.
“I do not fault you for believing such,” he added. “That is why you must know.”
“You could just tell me how they’re Ascended.” My heart lurched because I knew what he was going to do: create life by nearly ending it. Because this wasn’t the same as what Eythos did. “You don’t have to go to any trouble.”
“It’s no trouble.”
Pressure clamped down on my chest as my head swung back to the three. My thoughts raced. I had a plan to free Ash: earn Kolis’s favor and trust. With my failed escape attempt and literally everything else that’d happened, I was doing a really shitty job at that. I needed to be careful and not incite Kolis’s displeasure, which I kept doing.
“This really isn’t necessary.” I tried again, hands spasming at my sides as I held myself back. The clap of Iason’s and Dyses’ boots against the stone, and the silent steps of the Chosen, were now like thunder. Dyses looked somewhat bored, but the draken…
Iason stared straight ahead, almost as if he saw no one. Once more I thought of how many draken in Dalos had been forced into bonding with Kolis. Was Iason one of those who, unlike Nektas’s cousin, would’ve chosen not to serve Kolis if given a choice?
“But it is.” Kolis turned to the Chosen. “Come,” he coaxed, beckoning warmly.
Breathe in. My body went rigid. The Chosen crossed the remaining distance, gloved hands clasped before their waist. Hold.
“Unveil yourself,” Kolis instructed.
Breathe out.
The Chosen lifted the veil, gradually revealing the fine features of a young man who couldn’t be much older than me. Hold.
“Jove,” Kolis spoke. A cowardly part of me didn’t want to learn his name. “How are you?”
“I am fine, Your Majesty.” Jove smiled, and gods, it reminded me of my smiles whenever my mother sent me to deliver her messages: practiced but empty. Just as I had been.
Breathe in.
“Today, you will be blessed,” Kolis said, cupping the man’s cheek. “Given new life.”
Jove bowed his head. “It is an honor.”
No. No it wasn’t. Because I heard his voice tremble. I saw the increasing thinness of his smile and the wideness of his deep brown eyes.
He was afraid.
I stopped with the breathing exercises and stepped forward. “Kolis.”
The false King’s head cut in my direction. “Yes?”
“You don’t have to do this,” I repeated as the embers thrummed in my chest. “I…I thought when you said you wanted to walk, it was to spend time with me. Alone.”
“We will.” Kolis stared at me for so long, I thought maybe he’d changed his mind. “But there are things I must see to. This is one of them.”
Jove stood completely still, his hands clenched tightly as dread flooded my heart.
“This is an honor,” Kolis said, and I didn’t know if he was talking to me or the Chosen. “Life can still be created, even if imperfect. And it must be. For without it, the very fabric of the realms would rip apart.”
I blinked. “W-what?”
“Close your eyes, my son.” Kolis fully shifted his attention to Jove.
The Chosen obeyed without hesitation. Kolis tilted the man’s head back, exposing the length of his neck.
He was going to bite him.
My hand went to my throat as the memory of the pain burned through me. I couldn’t stand here and allow this.
Instinct took over, and I was suddenly moving toward Kolis and the Chosen before I was even fully conscious of what I was doing. Crossing the space, the essence built inside me as I reached out—
I gasped as Kolis’s other hand snaked out, capturing my wrist. “I understand,” he said softly, his flat, cold stare locking with mine. “You’ve always had a kind heart, so’lis.”
I shuddered.
And then she shuddered.
“Even now, under this sharp, rough, and often abrasive exterior, your heart is soft,” he continued, my skin crawling from his touch. “You are a good person. I admire that. I always have.”
Kolis was wrong. I didn’t have a soft or kind heart. Nor was I a particularly good person. If I were, I wouldn’t have been able to do all the things I’d done how I’d done them. I couldn’t just stand by and watch this. There was a difference.
“You need to understand why this is important. What is and has always been at risk,” Kolis said. “He is either recreated in the image of the gods, or he gives life to another who will be. That is up to you.”
It took no leap of logic to know that giving life to another meant death for Jove.
“But make no mistake,” Kolis said, drawing me to his side with just the curl of his arm. I swallowed hard, but it did nothing to ease the rising bile of the contact with him and the knowledge of what was to come. “Balance must be maintained.”
There he was again, going on about his obsession with balance.
“That is more important than anyone in this space, including you.” He held my stare. “Even me. Because without balance, there is nothing.”
What he said made little sense. I inhaled a mere wisp of air. “Can you…can you make it not hurt?”
The eather stilled in his eyes, and his skin thinned. Coldness drenched me.
Saying nothing, he let go of my wrist and thrust me away from him. I stumbled but caught myself as he turned his head back to Jove. A heartbeat passed, and then Kolis’s lips peeled back. I saw a flash of his fangs, and then he struck, piercing the flesh of Jove’s throat.
My body jerked at the exact moment Jove’s did. I tipped forward as the Chosen went rigid, his eyes and mouth opening wide. A tremor started in my legs. I knew what kind of excruciating agony he was likely enduring. Frantically, I swiveled around, scouring my surroundings for a weapon. My gaze landed on the swords of those who remained as the embers flared to life, reminding me that—
A moan swiftly yanked my attention back to Kolis and the Chosen. The sound… My gaze went to where the Primal fed deeply from Jove. The Chosen’s lips were now only parted, his features slack and slightly flushed. I hadn’t heard a moan of pain.
It was one of pleasure.
Breathing raggedly, I pressed my hand to my stomach. A spasm jolted Jove as he exhaled another heated groan. Kolis wasn’t causing pain.
I watched, caught between surprise and agitation, as the Chosen gradually grew limp in the false King’s arms. I had known Kolis was capable of feeding without pain, but I also knew he was not kind. He’d shown that over and over.
But the Chosen wasn’t in pain. Ecstasy soaked his features. Still, this… I swallowed down the bitterness of bile. This didn’t feel right. I took a step back, somehow even more disturbed by what I witnessed now than I would have been if Jove had been screaming.
I’d asked Kolis not to cause pain.
He’d done this for me, but all I could think about was what I’d thought when I first saw Orval and Malka and what I had been led to believe with the god from Keella’s Court and Jacinta. All I could think about was how the last thing I’d wanted to feel when Kolis bit me was pleasure.
Oh, gods.
I’d asked Kolis to do this, and I knew this wasn’t okay, even if my intentions had been in the right place. I just didn’t know how wrong it was. In this case, did the means justify the end? I couldn’t answer that.