What the fuck was I doing?
Going to her house??
I’d been serious about trying to help her, mostly because Bailey seemed so wide-eyed and trusting that she was going to be shattered when reality reared its ugly head. I knew we weren’t going to be able to stop it, because life, but at least if we fought, she wouldn’t feel helpless.
I fucking hated feeling helpless.
Because helplessness was a little like waterboarding （I said a little）。 Someone else has all the control while you feel like you can’t breathe and like it’s never going to stop.
Logically you know it will—eventually that bucket is going to be empty, right?—but that doesn’t help the panic when the dousing is constant.
God, I’m so fucked-up.
But helping her was one thing.
Going to her house to help her?
Terrible idea.
CHAPTER FIFTEEN Bailey
“Does my hair look okay?” Charlie asked.
I stopped digging for my keys and looked at Charlie, who was giving me a goofy smile and patting his head like he cared. I shook my head and muttered, “You’re stunning.”
“Why, thank you.”
When I got the door unlocked, I took a deep breath before walking inside. No one was in the kitchen, but I could hear my mother’s voice in the living room.
“Be a dick,” Charlie muttered, his voice deep in my ear, and it made me shiver. Which made him say, “I felt that.”
I turned and looked at him, blinking fast at the sexy grin lining his face. He had one of those half smiles that suggested he knew a lot about all the things I knew only a little about. He said, “What? I didn’t mean anything by it. I was just stating the fact that I felt you get a chill.”
I swallowed and hated that my cheeks were insta-hot. “Okay.”
“From my mouth’s closeness,” he teased, and I would’ve gotten irritated if his words weren’t followed by the laid-back chuckle that I’d heard him use all day at work with Theo.
Casual. Harmless.
“Bay?” my mom yelled. “You home?”
“Yeah,” I said, grabbing Charlie’s sleeve and pulling him into the living room with me. He grunted quietly in response to my bossiness, and I said, “Sorry I’m late.”
But when we got fully into the room, I let go of his arm and crossed mine tightly over my chest, hating what I saw. My mom was leaning on Scott on the couch, her feet tucked underneath her like she’d never been more comfortable in her life. He was wearing flannel pajama pants, a baggy T-shirt, and those motherloving white crew socks that made me irrationally angry.
God, what if I’m too late to stop this from becoming our new normal?
“Oh.” My mom looked surprised at the sight of Charlie. “Hey there, person I don’t know.”
“Yeah,” I said, tucking my hair behind my ears. “This is Charlie—we work together.”
“Hi, Charlie,” my mom said, and when I glanced over at him—
Holy crap.
Charlie gave her the world’s most charming smile. It wasn’t the hitched-up-on-one-side, lazy grin that I’d seen so far, but a full-on smile that belonged on an ad for whitening toothpaste. Squinty eyes, pronounced dimples; he looked nice, for God’s sake.
I stared at him, fairly certain my mouth was hanging open as he grinned and said, “Hi—it’s really nice to meet you.”
My mom’s smile stretched all the way up to the top of her head—she was positively glowing as she looked at Charlie. Scott stood and held out a hand. “Hey, Charlie. I’m Scott.”
Charlie’s charming grin melted down into his sarcastic smirk as he shook Scott’s hand. “Nice to meet you. You’re Bay’s dad?”
I bit down on my lip; he was such a shit.
“No,” Scott said, looking mildly uncomfortable. “I’m a friend of her mom’s.”
“Friend, huh?” Charlie said, letting his eyes roam down over Scott’s pajama pants and stockinged feet. “Okay.”
“Let’s get a soda,” I said, practically pulling Charlie into the kitchen. As soon as we rounded the corner and were out of their line of sight, I looked at him with wide eyes.
And then he grinned. He grinned like he was victorious, and I dissolved into giggles that sounded ridiculously high-pitched as I tried to make them quiet.
“You are the worst,” I said, trying to talk and laugh quietly.
“Did you see his face?” Charlie asked, still smiling. “I think he wanted to hit me.”
“Shhhshh—listen.”
My mom was talking quietly, and we both craned our necks to hear.
“Oh, he didn’t mean anything by it,” my mom said in a placating tone, which made Charlie throw an elbow into my ribs.
“Oh yes, I did,” he whispered, sounding crazy-proud of himself.
“Oh yes, he did,” Scott murmured, sounding petulant. “Trust me, I know teenage boys.”
I rolled my eyes and so did Charlie.
“Can you just be nice to Bay’s friend?” my mom asked. “No big deal, just nice.”
My mouth dropped wide open at my mom’s snarky tone, and Charlie raised his hands in the air like he’d just won the match. Oh my God—could his plan actually work?
“I have to go now,” Charlie said, looking down at me with a half smile, “but you’re welcome for the awesomeness.”
“Noooo,” I begged, grabbing his arm and shaking it. “You’re doing the Lord’s work here.”
“Seriously—my mom will freak if I’m late.”
“Fine.” I let go of his arm. “But can we do this more often? Like, will you come hang over here and just be awful?”
“Sounds like a party,” he said, his dark eyes traveling over my face before he stepped around me. “I’ve got to go home and study,” he said, leaning to see into the living room as he called out to my mom, “but it was really nice meeting you.”
“You too, Charlie,” my mom said, but Scott didn’t say a word.
Charlie left, and when I went into the living room, they both looked at me questioningly.
“So Charlie is a coworker, huh?” My mom gave me a funny little smile, like she wanted to pump me for info but knew it was too soon after Zack for her to push romance. She glanced at Scott before saying, “He’s really cute.”
I pictured his face, and yeah—he was really cute.
Really cute and really just so irritating.
“We’re just friends.”
“Thank God,” Scott muttered, and when we both looked at him, he said, “What? I just thought he seemed like a little smart-ass. Which is great for a friend, not so great for a boyfriend.”
“Wow,” my mom said, giving him a confused look with her eyebrows furrowed and her lips pursed.
“What?” Scott asked, his eyes moving from her to me and back again.
“Nothing,” she said, giving her head a shake. “I just did not expect you to be the one in this apartment with hard-and-fast boyfriend rules.”
He set his hand on her knee, made a goofy face, and said, “I am an enigma, don’t you know that?”
“I guess I forgot,” she said, smiling and dragging a hand through her hair. “You know… that you’re an enigma.”