“Well, I’m happy for you anyway.” I threw an arm around her shoulder. “Everyone’s paired up, huh? Just in time for Christmas.”
My sister leaned her head on my shoulder. I knew her curiosity still ran rampant, the questions ping-ponging through her head so loud I could hear them. I wanted her to pry a little more. Which was bewildering, given that until that moment I’d wanted exactly the opposite.
Maybe it was knowing that everyone I cared about had it all figured out and I was still stuck in a limbo, waiting for something to happen. Mateo and Tally, Adriana and Malia, Mom and Charlie. Even if they didn’t have it figured out, they still had each other.
I was far from settled, and I definitely didn’t have my shit together. But I did have one thing that was quickly becoming the best part of my tangled, inexplicable chaos.
“Are you gonna tell me her name now?” Addy asked expectantly.
The corner of my mouth twitched upward. “Ophelia.”
26
The door to Frankie’s bedroom clicked shut, just in time for me to casually throw myself on the bed and answer the video call coming in before it turned to voicemail.
I made myself at home amongst the pillows, answering it with my brightest smile as a pixelated image of my mother filled the screen. She was sitting in the sun room, dusk not quite reaching that side of the country yet, whereas I was shrouded in night and lamplight.
“Are you in a man’s bed?”
So perceptive.
“Hello to you too, Mother.”
“Hi honey,” she backtracked, her lips twisting into a grin. “I feel like I haven’t seen your face in months. It’s lonely here without you.”
“Is it?” I blushed, tugging at a loose strand of my ponytail. It was comforting to hear her say that.
“Like a piece is missing,” she told me. “We have to figure something different out next year, something better for all of us.”
“Has it been hell getting everything ready for Christmas?” I picked absentmindedly at the dark thread of Frankie’s comforter.
“You know Gavin, doesn’t want to wait another minute for the gifts. But Laila’s still on the Santa train, so it’s been a nightmare keeping him out of the basement storage for the last week.”
“You should have left everything at my place.” I laughed. “That’s what Dad does.”
“Smart man. Why didn’t I think of that?”
“I’m sure it was Amy who thought of it, but she would never ask me herself.”
“She’s a shy one.” My mom giggled. “Anyway, tell me what’s happening in Florida. It’s been snowing for a week here.”
“Natalia is practically engaged, can you believe it?”
“Naturally.” She shrugged. “A good guy?”
“Yeah, he’s pretty great. Perfect for her. They’re so in love it’s disgusting.” I said. “We’re at his house now, and I’m hiding out in his roommate's bedroom.”
My mom's eyebrows danced provocatively. “Nice of him to let you get so comfortable.”
“You’re prying without prying.”
“I just think it’s nice. You’re practically snuggling with his pillows. Must be an accommodating host.”
“Maybe he is.” I stuck my tongue out.
“Fine, I won’t pry.”
I bit my lip, but it was useless pretending I didn’t want to talk about Frankie. The praise was nearly dripping off my tongue. “He’s ex-military.” I covered my mouth. “A pilot.”
Her face lit up and she got closer to the camera, trying to inhale the details through the screen. “Handsome?”
“Irritatingly.”
“Caring?”
“Emotionally and physically.”
She gasped. “Don’t fall in love in Florida, Ophelia. I need my daughter back.”
“That’s ridiculous.” I hid my face in the pillow and inhaled the subject of discussion’s galvanizing scent. “We’re just having fun. God knows I need a break from husband hunting.”
“Make him crazy then,” she said. “Throw out the sails, have a tête-à-tête. Everyone deserves a torrid love affair at least once and there’s no aphrodisiac like a ticking clock.”
“Mom!” My body vibrated with laughter. “If Josh could hear you now,” I teased. “His wife, the harlot.”
She shifted the camera and I caught a glimpse of my stepfather sitting on the leather recliner to her side reading a book. His attention hardly waned from the page, but he wore an amused smirk.
“Hi, Josh,” I chirped.
“Hiya, Phee.” He looked over the rim of his glasses resting on his nose and into the camera briefly. “Missing you here.”
“I miss everyone, too.” My heart warmed inside my chest and I sank further into the mattress, my phone outstretched above me. I missed them in a different way than I did a week ago, though. I missed them like you miss a lifelong friend. One that you know will always be there waiting for you no matter how much time goes by. You miss them, you love them, you want to see them—but if something else gets in the way, that’s okay too.
Not how I knew I’d be missing Frankie. He was a slow growing addiction that scared me as much as it made me feel on top of the world. Even if I didn’t want to, my body would still be seeking out that fix of him. Wishing we existed in the same place at the same time.
“Another week or so and I’ll be back. It’ll go quick,” I said reassuringly.
“We’ll be counting down the minutes,” Mom promised. “I’ll call you on Christmas, honey. Go enjoy your night, I don’t want to keep you.”
I sat up in bed and blew a kiss toward my phone. “I love you, talk soon.”
“Love you,” she repeated.
The call cut out and I threw myself back into the mattress, a delighted, weightless groan following. I was maybe the easiest woman to make happy, or just thrived on mutual emotion, but a conversation as short and simple as that with my mother was like a mood elixir.
I caught a sideways glimpse of myself in the standing mirror and was amazed at the satisfaction in my expression. Things were so fucking good, I couldn’t believe the person looking back at me was the same woman in the throes of self-deprecation two weeks before.
My confidence materialized into something brash as I lay there, heels digging into the soft give of Frankie’s sheets. Alone in the quiet, dark, sensual atmosphere of everything that was him, without consequence.
I tapped my fingernails against my bottom lip and unlocked my phone again.
Ophelia: Hi
A few seconds later three dots appeared on the screen.
Frankie <3: Hi, Trouble
Ophelia: How’s Miami?
Frankie <3: You’ll get an earful tomorrow
I stood and paced a slow circle around the wood floor in his bedroom.
Ophelia: That bad?
Frankie <3: Mom’s got a new boyfriend
Ophelia: Fuck
Ophelia: Are you okay?
Frankie <3: I’ve been lying in the grass outside for two hours. Addy abandoned me for her girlfriend after beer number three
Ophelia: Are you drunk?
Frankie <3: And so, so horny