We split into two cars for the drive south, Sam and the soon-to-be Durans in one car and Frankie and I with the company of Tyler in another. Echo was a talker, filling every spare second of quiet with a story or a joke. I got an earful about Frankie in Delta, his aversion to the bugs in the jungle, creative ways he found to make freeze-dried meals more palatable, the little battery-powered sound machine he kept in his sleeping bag that was the butt of many jokes.
Tyler’s booming laugh was so infectious that by the time we arrived in the Magic City the muscles in my cheeks were tired and aching. He slung not only his bag but mine and Frankie’s over his shoulder like a bundle of groceries and smooth-talked us all into a luxury suite at the top of the tower.
“That upgrade will go straight to his head,” Frankie said.
“He’s got what they call je ne sais quoi.” I shrugged.
“Or a venereal disease that sounds close to it.”
I elbowed Frankie between the ribs, digging the sharp bone in as deep as I could to get a rise out of him. He only pulled me closer, hooking his arm around my shoulders until my nose was level with his armpit and I got a full musky inhale of sandalwood and sweat. I’d grown so fond of the way he smelled: fresh out of the shower, after sex, in the middle of the day as I shoved my face into his shirt.
The lobby was massive with golden vaulted ceilings, chandeliers hanging like spiderwebs, avant-garde indoor fountains, and lush potted Zanzibar. Music echoed against the walls from somewhere deeper in the hotel, and the sound of Natalia’s heels striking tile stood out against the hum of a hundred conversations.
Frankie’s lips connected with the top of my head and he twirled a strand of my hair around his finger. He was so naturally and physically affectionate, something I realized was never notable with other men I dated, and I was going to crave that type of intimacy when it was gone.
“I missed you last night,” I said. We fell behind our group, watching the bob of Tyler’s close-cropped head weave in and out of the busy main level. “Nat isn’t much of a big spoon.”
“You could have texted me,” Frankie acknowledged. “I would have, but I didn’t want to pressure you too much. Things are weird right now.”
Weird was putting it in a more quirky, less honest, and painful way. Fortunately there was nothing a good few drinks couldn’t dull the sharp stab of. Even so, ignoring something so blatantly apparent was immature and burdensome and it was much better to be in agreement.
“It’ll be hard enough to say goodbye,” I told him honestly.
“I know.” His mouth twisted. “I know what you’re doing and I get it. I’m glad you’re setting that boundary, because I’m not physically strong enough to deny myself any part of you, especially the soft, tight little nooks I squeeze so nicely into.”
A delightful pang of heat melted through me as his hand slid down to rest on my hip as we walked. “Let’s just have fun tonight, okay? We’re both on the same page. That's what matters.”
“Right,” he agreed. “So let me eat you out before we leave later.”
“No!” I elbowed him again, his grip tightening as I tried to wiggle away. Frankie’s full lips curved up on one side, that flirty, mischievous smirk giving me just enough pause to consider how my body reacted so sweetly to his advances. “Maybe.”
“As friends,” he added, patting my ass.
I was never as strong as I pretended to be.
I sat in between Natalia’s legs on the floor, staring at my reflection in the wall mirror as she dropped my hair in thick, ringlet curls down my back. My blood pressure spiked every time she laid the burning hot iron on the white down comforter on the bed beside her.
Our hotel suite was magnificent. Floor-to-ceiling windows in the shared living room looked out across the city, bright and neon lights like pinholes in a dark tapestry, traffic twisting and winding on the streets below. We could make out the tiny dots of people in parallel windows moving about, TV screens, and Christmas trees still lit up inside residential complexes.
Everyone separated into their own spaces to get ready for the night out and Nat and I called dibs on the biggest room with the deep cradle bathtub and double vanity, as if we’d be spending any time in it beyond getting dressed and sleeping. Frankie clearly expected that he and I would bunk together and stood in the open doorway with his arms crossed expectantly while Nat and I discussed our outfit choices. Until he gave up and sulked away.
I stretched my legs out in front of me, assessing the red polish on my toenails that had begun to chip away since our trip to the spa a few weeks ago. So strange to think how different things were. Frankie and I barely knew each other then; I was certain I had him figured out and I couldn’t have been more wrong. I never would have guessed I’d be mourning the loss of the man I met on that plane, especially not while he was still very much available to me. But there I was getting emotional about needing a new pedicure.
“I can’t believe tomorrow is my last full day,” I said. Nat’s eyebrows were scrunched in concentration as she twirled a brown strand of hair around the silver barrel.
“Don’t remind me.” She frowned. “Let’s never go that long without seeing each other again.”
“Never,” I swore. “I’m going back to Colorado with a list of dates to take off for the wedding and I already switched on the price alerts for flights to Florida.”
“I’m proud of you.” She stopped curling and we regarded each other in the mirror. “For stepping out of your comfort zone to come down here and spend the holidays with us. I know it wasn’t easy putting yourself before your family. If you’re half as great a sister as you are a friend I know they’re missing you profusely right now.”
“My dad called this morning and insisted on picking me up from the airport, and that man insists upon nothing, so that was all I needed to know,” I told her. “I miss them, too. But I’m not ready to go yet.”
She sighed. “I know. As much as I wish it were me you’re sad to leave, I can take a back seat to Frankie because he made this whole thing worth your while. I just wish he’d take his head out of his ass and make a decision about the job already.”
“I am sad about leaving you.” My eyes rolled. “And I will miss Frankie, but I’ll also miss Mateo, and fuck, I’ll probably miss the other two if I’m being honest. I’m just going to miss the feeling of togetherness as a whole. That’s what I’ve been lacking for so long.”
“You’re the queen of deflection.” She paused. “If playing him down is your lame way of cushioning the fact that you’re leaving the only guy you’ve ever had feelings like this for—just say that.”
I squinted at her scrutinizing reflection, my left eye twitching faintly. “Don’t make me.”
“If he knew there was a chance, Phee…”
“He does! He does know that,” I explained. “But it’s selfish of me to hope he might leave his family here and follow me to Colorado when we’ve only known each other for three weeks. This is the honeymoon phase of a relationship where everything is new and all we want to do is have sex and get fat together. What if I realize eventually that I hate the way he folds towels or he goes bald and I can’t stop imagining myself sleeping with Howie Mandel? What the fuck then, Nat?”