I drove to the bail bonds office and Morelli called just as I parked.
“I’m on a lunch break,” he said. “I just heard about your apartment. How bad is it? Are you okay?”
“I’m fine. There’s smoke and water damage throughout. The bedroom and part of the living room are gone. No structural damage, so I should be able to get back in soon.”
“Do you know who did it?”
“I have ideas.”
“Are you working with the police?”
“Not yet. It just happened. How’s the trial going?”
“My part is done. I fly back to Jersey tomorrow night. Where are you staying? How’s Bob?”
“Bob is great. I’m looking for a place to stay.”
“You can stay with me tomorrow night. I already told my brother he has to vacate.”
“I’m going to lose you any second,” I said. “I’m out of phone battery.”
This was a big fib. I wasn’t out of phone battery. I was at a loss for words. I didn’t know how to explain my days with Ranger. Were we sleeping together? Yes. Were we intimate? No. Even I couldn’t believe that one.
I disconnected from Morelli and went into the office. Lula was sitting in Connie’s chair behind her desk.
“Connie’s downtown springing Scargucci,” Lula said. “She said to tell you the restoration people are going to start your apartment today. And I’ve been temporarily promoted to acting office manager.”
“Does it come with a raise?”
“No, but I’ve given myself an expense account. It’s a shame I’m tied to this desk because with my new expense account I could go to the mall and get a dress for my big date tonight. My wardrobe is limited since everything disappeared in the fire.”
“I talked to Morelli just now. He’s coming home tomorrow.”
“Is that good or bad?” Lula asked.
“It’s good. Bob will be back home, and I can move in with Morelli until my apartment is put together.”
“What about you-know-who?”
“Ranger?”
“You just gonna kick him to the curb?”
“It’s not like that,” I said. “Ranger has no expectations. He has a life that he allows me to share from time to time, but we both understand that we have no committed future together. His life path doesn’t include marriage.”
“Okay, what about Morelli? Is he gonna marry you? He’s got a pool table in his dining room.”
“Yeah, I’m not holding my breath for that marriage proposal either.”
“How about you? Do you want to get married?” Lula asked me.
“I don’t know. I was married once, and it was a disaster. Sometimes I think that I would like the security and comfort of a long-term relationship, but then I look at Rex and I think maybe he’s enough. I don’t have to share a bathroom with him.”
“I hear you,” Lula said. “If I got married it would be for health insurance. I’m not marrying anyone who doesn’t have a group plan.” Lula looked beyond me to the front door. “Hello, here’s a cutie. He looks a little hungover but I’m pretty sure he’s wearing a Rolex and Gucci loafers.”
He was in his forties, thinning dark blond hair, white starched shirt with the top three buttons open. Tan linen blazer. Tan slacks that fit just right. Reasonable weight that had gone a little soft.
“Hello, ladies,” he said, “I’m looking for Stephanie Plum.”
“I’m Stephanie Plum,” I said.
“And I’m the temporary acting office manager,” Lula said.
“I’m Frankie Plover,” he said. “I’d like to have a private conversation with Ms. Plum,” he said to Lula.
“You’ll have to take it outside,” Lula said. “I got a sworn responsibility to take care of the phones here. And by the way, are those real Gucci loafers?”
“That isn’t going to work for me,” Frankie said. “I need a little privacy.”
“I don’t get to see a lot of Gucci loafers that are on people’s feet,” Lula said. “Mostly I only see them in the store. Are they comfortable?”
“You’ve been very annoying,” Frankie said to me. “You’ve caused my father a lot of anxiety.”
“Holy cats,” Lula said. “I just got it. Your daddy owns Plover’s.”
“When do you sleep?” he asked me. “Are you a vampire? Do you haunt at night? You were supposed to be in bed when I sent you that present. How about if you walk outside with me and we go for a ride. I have a nice car. I have a Maserati. You ever ride in a Maserati?”
“Does your daddy know you’re here?” I asked him.
“He’s working at the store,” Frankie said. “He does all the tedious stuff, and I get to do the security-related operations. I try to put a creative spin on them.”
“Like car bombs and shooting bottle rockets out of can cannons?”
“I like things that go boom.”
“Did Geara send you here?” I asked him.
“Nobody sends me anywhere,” he said. “I don’t take orders. I give them.”
“That’s not what I hear,” I said. “I hear that you’re Geara’s stooge.”
I heard Lula ease Connie’s bottom drawer open, getting ready to go for the gun, just in case.
“That’s not nice,” Frankie said. “You should have better manners. Especially since I offered to treat you to a ride in my Maserati.”
“Why do you want to take me for a ride?”
“I thought we could talk about things. I’m a businessperson and you’re a businessperson. We might have some things in common.”
“We can talk here,” I said.
Frankie cut his eyes to Lula. “In front of chubs?”
Lula leaned forward a little. “Excuse me? Were you referring to me? Did you use that word in a derogatory fashion?”
“You’re fat,” Frankie said. “Own it.”
“I’ll own your ass after I stick my foot up it,” Lula said.
“That’s just great,” Frankie said. “A fat girl with an attitude.”
“I’m not no fat girl,” Lula said. “I’m Lula.”
Frankie gave a bark of laughter. “You’re Lula? You’re the one who lives in the pink and purple house on Micklin Street?”
“What of it?” Lula said.
“I told my moron assistant to get me the address of Vinnie’s bounty hunter and she gave me yours. I didn’t find out she gave me the wrong address until the following morning. Pretty funny, right?”
Lula’s eyes almost popped out of her head, and I thought her hair might spontaneously burst into flames.
“You punk-ass piece of duck doody,” she said. “Son of a gun. Son of a bitch. Son of a peach basket.”
“I can see this isn’t going down in a friendly fashion, so I’m just going to off both of you,” Frankie said.
He reached under his blazer and pulled a gun. Lula bent down and came up with Connie’s gun. The front door opened and a large, hairy man holding two black plastic garbage bags walked in.