I lounged on my sister’s bed, a bowl of candied almonds tucked beside me, as I watched the seamstresses fit Briar into her wedding dress. Briar’s room took up an entire wing of the palace. As her personal guard, I had been appointed a room within the wing, connected through an internal door to her bedchamber.
Sumptuous jewel-toned fabrics decorated my sister’s suite. The wealth of Damrienn was clear from the silver-framed mirrors to the gem-studded jewelry box on the mantel. It was decadent and, compared to what I had lived with my entire life, ostentatious. I reminded myself again, though, that with these fanciful riches also came an army of Silver Wolves, who would help reclaim our kingdom.
With only a moment to splash water on our faces, a team of dressmakers had arrived at Briar’s door. It had been a long journey to Highwick and, though I’d slept, I’d hoped we’d get some rest. It hadn’t dawned on me the wedding would be the moment we arrived. And now the evening was nearing, and the ceremony would take place at exactly midnight—the time of our birth. Symbolically it made sense. And the more I thought about it, politically, too. A good warrior should be prepared for an ambush, and I had totally missed this one.
Not that it mattered all that much—it was inevitable, so better to get it over with. Instead of dwelling on it, I thought about what midnight would bring. I loved that Briar and I had different birthdays even though we were only born minutes apart. Today Briar was twenty years old and tomorrow I would be, too. We each had a full day to be celebrated by Vellia as children, and I realized this was going to be my first birthday without her. The faery’s absence hit me anew.
“Ouch.” Briar frowned down at the seamstress prodding her with needles.
The seamstress merely rolled her eyes, not the least bit apologetic.
“Stay still,” I called, chuckling at her squirming.
“I am,” Briar growled, eyeing me in the full-length mirror. “Shouldn’t you be getting fitted, too?”
“They left a very fine silver jacket hanging in my wardrobe.” I shrugged. “And a ceremonial sash to match the other guards.”
“I think you look better in gold.” Briar always had a better sense for clothes. I was happy to let her pick my attire often and let her mold the image of myself.
“I’ll wear what they tell me.” My voice fell into a murmur. “Since I’m a guard of Damrienn now . . .”
My sister paused, watching my reflection. “Could you give us a moment?” she asked the two women pinning the hem of her dress.
They rolled their eyes but nodded as if used to being dismissed by royalty.
“Just don’t sit down,” the one with pins in her mouth muttered. “We’ll be back.”
“Ten minutes,” the other said and shut the door behind them.
Briar hiked up her flowing lace skirts and stepped off her pedestal. She looked like a painting of the Moon Goddess, billowing white and silver skirts that cinched in at her narrowed waist, long lace sleeves, V-shaped neckline, and silver buttons down her back. Once the crown waiting for her was on her head, she’d be the perfect picture of a queen.
“You look gorgeous, Briar,” I said, stuffing another almond into my cheek, trying to let the act of chewing relieve how tightly I clenched my jaw. “I wish our parents were here to see it.”
Briar sighed. “I wish they were here, too.” She walked around the bed and put her hand on my forearm. “I’m sorry the King didn’t announce who you were straight away. Maybe he’s waiting until after the ceremony?” Her worried thoughts mirrored my own. “Once I’m married to Grae, it will solidify his claim to Olmdere . . . he’ll probably share the news then.”
“We’ll see.”
Briar smiled. “You’ll be a princess and a knight, Calla. You’ll be formidable. While I’m holding high teas and birthing pups, you’ll be galloping off into battle.”
Birthing pups. I shoved the bowl of almonds away, suddenly sick to my stomach. The roles of man and woman were so rigid, so constraining, completely controlling who we could be and what we would do with our lives. Everyone around me seemed so willing to play these parts, even Briar. Some even seemed like they wanted them. And while any mandatory role wouldn’t be one I’d choose for myself, the desires of an individual meant nothing in a pack. There was no point even considering them.
I glanced at my bedroom door, wondering when the siring of pups would commence. Gods, would Grae come here? Would I hear them together? My soul left my body imagining those sounds. My cheeks heated, my skin prickling as I swallowed back the panic. I scanned the room for wine, intending to get rip-roaring drunk at the wedding feast. There were only so many things my soul could take, and this moment had been one I’d been trying to reconcile for the last seven years.