I wouldn’t apologize. “I had to go.”
“Why?” Grae snapped, pulling away.
My hand dropped back to my side. Here it was—the argument I’d been bracing for since we got back in the wagon.
“What do you mean why?” I grabbed the blanket and wrapped it around my bare back, uncaring as the fibers stuck onto the salve. “You know why.”
“I know the reason, but not the rationale. What exactly is your plan beyond killing Sawyn?” Grae corked the vial and threw it back toward his bag. “What is your plan to kill Sawyn? She has an army of Rooks. Even if you do manage to kill her, do you really think they’ll just let you take her throne?”
“You think that’s what I’m doing here?”
“Isn’t it?”
“My sister is dead!” My chest cracked open and that festering pain flowed out in my poisoned words. “She’s gone, Grae. Never to wake again. Not unless I do what I’m doing. The only chance at saving her is in Olmdere.” I flung my hand toward the wall and the mountains beyond. “All I care about right now is finding Maez and breaking Briar’s curse. I can’t live knowing she’s still on that tomb. Sawyn, Olmdere, the throne, you—everything else can wait.”
Grae swallowed, steadying his breath. He seemed relieved by my answer, though he flinched a bit at the “you” part.
“My father didn’t want me to help my cousin, his niece,” he murmured. “In fact, I’m certain he has his soldiers out looking for us right now with orders to bring us home. I tried to convince Sadie and Hector not to follow me, but they wanted to rescue Maez as badly as I did.”
My eyes slid across his face. His eye was no longer swollen like it had been in his father’s office. He’d probably shifted to heal it.
“What will he do when he finds you?”
Grae’s fists tightened. “Whatever punishment he doles out, it’ll be ten times worse for them.”
The Wolf in me snarled, fighting the sudden urge to tear my teeth into King Nero’s throat. He could kill Sadie and Hector for disobeying him, or take an eye or hand like those Wolves in his palace. Part of me knew he had to, to preserve his place at the head of the pack. Part of me needed him to, to preserve what it meant to be a Wolf. Questioning one rule would break me open to questioning them all, and I was terrified what I might discover if I followed that line of inquiry too far. As much as I hated the idea of the king’s punishments, it was also ingrained in me, and it was very hard to shake.
“Is that why you’re not in the Damrienn uniform? You’re hiding from his scouts, fleeing his soldiers to save Maez?” I asked, eyeing his unadorned leathers again.
Grae nodded. “We have the same goals, little fox.”
“Only because I took action,” I snapped. “Tell me, would you be here right now venturing to Olmdere to save your cousin if I hadn’t left first?”
Grae didn’t answer and my lip curled. Maybe he would’ve . . . eventually. But we both knew my decision was what forced his hand. Would he have let me live my days, dying a little more inside with each passing season, until only the shell of a person remained? I’d hoped not, but I wasn’t certain, and that seed of a doubt spoke volumes about how much I trusted Grae right now.
I ran my hand across my collarbone. That protection stone would’ve come in handy over the past few days. Better that Grae have it though, one less way we were tied together. It was his grandmother’s necklace after all. It was meant to be his . . . A sudden thought made my eyes snap up.
“Why didn’t Briar’s protection stone work against the sleeping curse?” My brow furrowed, remembering how it seemed as if Sawyn wanted to crush my windpipe but couldn’t quite do it. “Why did Sawyn’s magic work on Briar and not on me?”
“I gave her that ruby necklace for its beauty,” Grae said, rubbing the back of his neck. “Only your necklace had a protection stone.”
My heart thundered. “And you gave it to me? Not your betrothed?” Grae didn’t answer. “What about yours and Briar’s future?”
His eyes softened. “You still think its hers and mine?”
No. I didn’t. The Moon Goddess had made that much very clear. But Grae hadn’t known we were fated mates when he gave me that necklace years ago, which meant . . . I’d always been important to him, even when I was just a little fox in the woods. He could only protect one of us, and he’d chosen me. The thought made my chest heavy.