“Thank you for taking pity on me.” Grae chuckled, his warm breath in my hair.
“I did it for myself,” I muttered, thinking of Navin’s story again. “It seems Marriels only ever consider themselves.”
Part of me wished I had never known about the horrors of Olmdere, but it also fed the fire deep in my belly. I knew with even more certainty I couldn’t turn back. My people had suffered in ways I hadn’t ever known. But now that I knew, I wouldn’t turn a blind eye to it. I had wanted to defeat Sawyn to avenge my parents, to fulfill our own legacy. Those goals felt hollow and selfish now. I hadn’t considered how much my people might need me—people my ancestors had vowed to protect. Sticky black shame filled me. It tarred my bones.
“I’m sorry for what has happened to Olmdere,” Grae murmured, placing his hand on my cheek, careful to avoid my cuts. He tipped my head back, making me look into his eyes. A knot tightened in my throat as my eyes welled, letting him see my shame. “I know you care, Calla. You wouldn’t be this upset if you didn’t, but what Navin said is not your fault.” I shook my head, trying to look away, but he held my face as a tear fell down my cheek and he swept it away with his thumb. “What happened to your kingdom is not your fault. None of this is your fault, little fox.”
The dam broke as tears came spilling down my cheeks. Grae dropped his hand to pull me into him again. Tears stained his shirt as I sobbed. He ran a soothing hand down my back as it all rushed out of me. I felt rudderless in a fierce and unrelenting storm, thinking of all the things I should have done. All the ways I could have prepared.
I should’ve protected my sister. I should’ve helped my kingdom sooner. I should’ve demanded more of this world, and listened harder when it was demanding more of me.
My parents were gone, my sister cursed, my kingdom in ruin, and I was the last Marriel who could save it. But it wasn’t just Briar’s life that hung in the balance. An entire population had suffered devastating losses. It was too much. Before, my destiny had just been daydreams, and now, it was real and raw and vicious.
I fisted my hands in Grae’s tunic as I wrung out my grief, clinging to him with desperation—the anchor in my storm.
“I’ve got you,” he whispered, arms tightening around me. That tenderness broke me further. “I’m here.”
I allowed myself to fall apart in his arms, knowing he would hang on to me. I purged that sorrow from me, that festering pain that threatened to swallow me whole, some of it building within me my whole life. My sobs slowly morphed into sniffles, riding over the sharp cliff of pain and tumbling down into exhaustion. The tension in my body eased and finally I could take a deep breath.
With each slower breath, I saw the road ahead with new clarity. I’d defeat Sawyn and spend the rest of my life making it up to them. No more people would risk their lives fleeing my kingdom. I’d give them something I’d never truly felt myself—home.
“How long have you two been together?”
I lifted my eyes to meet Malou’s assessing silver gaze. Grae bristled beside me, sitting a little straighter at the question. The back of the wagon was packed with the twins and Navin on one bench and all four of us Wolves across from them.
“It depends when you’re counting from,” Grae said. “Some might say we’ve been together our whole lives.”
Mina smiled dreamily. “That’s so romantic.”
I coughed, trying to cover my laugh. She seemed more besotted with my mate than I did at that moment. My eyes scanned down her satin half-shirt, a sheer top over it revealing the peeks of skin on her shoulders and belly. It tucked into a pink pleated skirt, the fabric billowing at her feet. The garment was designed for hot Rikeshi summers, not the brisk air of Taigos, but she didn’t seem to mind, her long thick hair wrapping around her back like a shawl.
I’d always wondered how people knew what to wear. The colors and patterns Mina wore now suited her perfectly—everything from the way she styled her hair to the golden rings on her fingers to the hue of her painted lips. I wished I could feel that way—so steady in my appearance. My clothes never looked right on my body, the shade of the fabric, the cut—it was always just off, as if my clothing was as confused about what I was trying to be as the rest of my soul.
“Where’s your ring?” Malou nodded to my hand and I folded my arms.
“Lost,” Grae and I both started at once.
Sadie and Hector snickered, and Grae gave them a look like a tutor scolding children.