“Yes. I think she would too. Perhaps I’m only imagining it.”
They strode farther down the field, and just the movement of walking after sitting crunched at her desk most of the day lifted Iris’s demeanor. There was nothing but the sound of grass whispering against their legs, and a few starlings trilling overhead. No matter how long she lived here, she didn’t think she would ever get used to how quiet it was.
“Do you think it’s possible to fall in love with a stranger?” Iris asked.
“Like love at first sight?”
“Not exactly. More like loving someone you’ve never met. Someone whose name you don’t even know but who you have a connection with.”
Attie was quiet for a beat. “I’m not sure. Maybe? But only because I’m a romantic at heart.” And she cast a wry smile Iris’s way. “Why do you ask? Has a stranger caught your eye at the infirmary?”
“No. It’s just something I’m currently thinking about.”
Attie glanced up to the sky, as if the answers hid above them, high up in the clouds. The words she said next lingered with Iris for hours afterward.
“These days, I think anything is possible, Iris.”
Things I know about you:
You slouch sometimes.
You have your father’s chin.
Your hair is perfect, somewhere between rogue and knight errant.
You have a nan, who is full of myths.
You’re Del’s older brother.
You live in Oath.
You’re 19 （I think? I added up your age from a previous letter）。
Your writing is impeccable and often makes me laugh.
Things I don’t know about you:
Your name.
Iris folded the paper and sent it over the portal that night. She waited, expecting him to reply swiftly, as he was prone to do. But when the minutes continued to stretch long and quiet, her stomach began to ache and she paced her room, full of worry. She had thought they were ready to exchange names at last. But perhaps she had somehow misinterpreted their communication.
An hour later, he replied.
Iris snatched the paper off the floor and read:
Then you already know all the important facets of me. I don’t feel as if my name is worthy to note, but you can call me Carver. That’s what Del used to call me, and I miss it some days.
—C.
Carver. Iris let his name wash through her before she whispered it into the shadows of her bedroom.
“Carver.”
A name that was hard and unforgiving, cutting the air with its sound. A name she never would have thought belonged to him.
She typed:
Hi, Carver. I’m Iris.
He sent a message back:
“Little flower.” I see it now. The name suits you.
P.S. Hi, Iris.
Iris chuckled, uncertain what to make of him. Gods, she wanted to know what he looked like. She wanted to know the cadence of his voice. What sort of facial expressions did he make when he typed his postscripts?
Dear Carver （I confess, it’s so nice to finally be able to address my letters to you!）， Most people instantly think of an eyeball when they learn my name. It bothered me so greatly when I was younger in school. Some boys relentlessly teased me, so that’s why Forest nicknamed me “Little Flower.”
Even then, I disliked my name, and asked my mother （whose name was Aster, by the way） why she didn’t name me something fashionable, like Alexandra or Victoria.
“The women in our family have always been named after flowers,” Mum said. “Be proud of your name.”
Alas, I’m still striving to be.
—Iris
He replied:
Dear Iris,
I have to say that an eyeball is the furthest image from my mind. Even the fierce flower that inspired your mother to name you wasn’t the first thing I thought of. Rather: iris: transitive verb: to make iridescent.
Let us make our names exactly what we want them to be.
—C.
Dear Commanding Officer of the E Brigade,
My name is Iris Winnow, and I am currently seeking the whereabouts of my brother, Private Forest M. Winnow. I was informed by the Brigadier-General’s second assistant that my brother was sorted into Second E Battalion, Fifth Landover Company, under Captain Rena G. Griss.
I haven’t heard from Forest since the day he enlisted nearly six months ago, and I am concerned about his well-being. If you could provide me with an update on the Fifth Landover Company, or an address that I may write to, I would be deeply grateful.
Sincerely,
Iris Winnow
War correspondent for the Inkridden Tribune Stationed at Avalon Bluff, Western Borough, Cambria
{23}
Champagne & Blood
Roman had told Iris his middle name, and he winced every time he thought about it. He thought about it as he rode the lift to the Gazette. He thought about it as he prepared his tea at the sideboard, wishing it were coffee. He thought about it when he sat at his desk and turned his dictionaries paper side out, as she had often done to irk him.
He was thinking about her far too much, and he knew this was going to doom him.
But the truth was he was anxious. Because whenever he saw her again, he would have to tell her he was Carver. He worried she would feel like he had been lying to her, although he had only ever granted her truth, even if it had been in roundabout ways.
I want her to know it’s me, he thought, staring at his typewriter. He wanted her to know today, and yet it would be foolish to impart such a load by letter. No, it needed to be done in person. Face-to-face, where he could explain himself.
“You look hard at work,” said a familiar voice.
Roman stiffened, turning to look up at the last person he expected to see in the Gazette. He set down his teacup and rose. “Father.”
Mr. Kitt’s eyes roamed the office. It took Roman a moment to realize his father was looking for her. For Iris.
“She’s not here,” Roman said in a cold voice.
Mr. Kitt’s gaze returned to his. “Oh? And where is she?”
“I don’t know. I haven’t seen her since I was promoted.”
An awkward silence came between them. Roman could feel Sarah’s glance as she passed by, granting Mr. Kitt a wide berth. A few of the editors had also halted, watching through swirls of cigarette smoke.
Roman cleared his throat. “Why are you—”
“I made lunch reservations for you and Miss Little,” Mr. Kitt said tersely. “Today. One o’clock sharp at Monahan’s. You’ll be marrying her in three weeks, and your mother thought it would be nice if the two of you spent some time together.”
Roman forced himself to swallow a retort. This was the last thing he wanted to do today. But he nodded, even as he felt the life drain from him. “Yes. Thank you, Father.”
Mr. Kitt gave Roman an appraising glance, as if he were surprised that Roman had given in so easily.
“Good, son. I’ll see you tonight for supper.”
Roman watched his father leave.
He sank back to his chair and stared at the blank page in his typewriter. The dictionaries he had turned paper side out. He forced his fingers to rest on the keys but he couldn’t write a word. All he could hear was Iris’s voice, as if she were reading her letter aloud to him.
You remove a piece of armor for them; you let the light stream in, even if it makes you wince. Perhaps that is how you learn to be soft yet strong, even in fear and uncertainty. One person, one piece of steel.