But Stevie never did any of that.
Which was fine. This was Stevie’s show; Iris was just here for support.
Still, by the time they’d all showered and dressed for dinner, Iris was grumpy. Too much sun and alcohol, most likely, and she was ravenous. That cheese hadn’t lasted long, and she was definitely the kind of person her friends tended to avoid when she was hungry—or feed immediately.
She sat down at the expansive driftwood table and thanked all the gods that there was a bread basket already present. Candles were set out along the sideboard, and a modern, branch-shaped chandelier glowed above them. She tore a hunk out of the warm brown bread as Vanessa emerged from the kitchen with a giant dish of lasagna, followed by Adri and a bowl filled with leafy green salad.
“We went simple tonight,” Vanessa said. “Hope that’s okay.”
“It’s perfect,” Iris said, accepting a glass of red wine from Ren.
“So, Iris,” Adri said once they all had full plates and were cutting into their food. “What do you do when you’re not taking the community theater world by storm?”
Iris smiled. “I’m a romance author. And I have a line of digital planners I sell through an Etsy shop called Paper Wishes.”
“A renaissance woman,” Vanessa said. “Would we know any of your books?”
“Stevie loves romance,” Adri said, her eyes on Stevie.
“I know,” Iris said, and shit, she just could not resist taking Stevie’s free hand, then leaning over to kiss her cheek. Stevie laughed softly, meeting Iris’s eyes briefly before taking her hand back.
“And no, Vanessa, you probably wouldn’t know my books yet,” Iris said, ripping another piece of bread in half.
“Not very popular?” Adri asked.
“Babe,” Vanessa said.
“What?”
“Subtle as always, A,” Ren said.
Stevie cleared her throat but said nothing.
“I haven’t published yet,” Iris said, keeping her eyes on Adri. “My first book comes out in October.”
“Oh, that’s exciting,” Van said. “Congrats.”
Iris tipped her glass at her. “I hope you’ll all come to the launch party in Bright Falls.”
Adri’s gaze flicked to Stevie then back to Iris. “If you still want us to by then, I’m sure we will.”
Silence spilled over the table, her insinuation like a finger snuffing out a flame. Iris was trying to figure out how to play this—Adri was her director after all, and this passive aggression seemed to be the way she was planning to interact with Iris. She’d just decided that a change of subject was the best course of action when Adri went on.
“Stevie’s special, you know,” Adri said.
“Adri,” Stevie said.
“What? You are. You’re a gifted actor, Stevie, but you’re sensitive. I just want to make sure Iris here knows that.”
“I can tell her just how sensitive I am myself.”
“Can you?”
“Adri, what are you doing?” Vanessa asked. Her brows were furrowed, eyes glistening in the dim light.
Adri sighed and let her fork clatter to her plate. “I’m looking out for our friend. Is that a crime?”
“Stevie can look after herself,” Ren said.
“Except Stevie struggles with that, Ren,” Adri said. “Always has. You know she does. And I’m sorry, I’m happy Stevie has found someone, and Iris, you seem amazing, truly, but you’re not exactly a gentle person. At least from what I’ve seen. I’m just looking out for her. Stevie is—”
“Stevie is right fucking here.”
Stevie’s voice cut through Adri’s soliloquy. She stared at Adri, but not with vitriol like Iris expected—like Iris sort of wanted, if she was being honest—but with wonder.
“Excuse me,” Stevie said, then got up from the table and disappeared out the back door toward the beach.
Iris picked up her wine and took a sip, glaring at Adri as she did so. Fuck the fact that Adri was essentially her boss for the play. It was too late to replace her as Beatrice anyway.
“Well,” Ren said. “Dessert anyone?”
Vanessa tossed her napkin on her plate and rose, then walked off down the hall without another word to anyone.
“Jesus, Adri,” Ren said.
“Oh, fuck off, Ren,” Adri said. “You have no idea what it’s like to be with someone for six years. All that care and concern doesn’t just go away, okay?”
“Sure as hell seemed like it all went away when you started fucking Van two months after the breakup.”
Adri pursed her mouth, a muscle jumping in her jaw. Finally, she stood up too, and left out the back door just like Stevie.
Iris sat there, her pulse galloping against her ribs more than she’d like to admit. She wasn’t one to back away from conflict, but this . . . she wasn’t sure what role she played here among this group of people who had known one another for a decade. She didn’t know if she should go after Stevie or give her time to cool off. Because the truth was, she didn’t really know Stevie at all.
Ren scrubbed a hand over their face, then lifted their glass in a toast. “Welcome to the fam, Iris.”
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
WHILE IN PORTLAND, Stevie always forgot how much she loved the ocean. The vastness of it. She spent her days fighting huge emotions and thoughts, constantly working to keep herself from spilling over. But here, in front of the Pacific at twilight, with nothing around except water and rocks and sky, she remembered just how small she was, how insignificant in the scheme of the universe.
It was a good reminder, healthy perspective and all that, particularly as she sat in the sand, tears on a free-for-all down her cheeks. She’d barely set them loose, her chest opening up in relief, when she caught a shadow to her right. Wiping at her face, she glanced over, expecting to see a redhead walking toward her, but instead saw her ex.
Her heart did something funny in her chest—a leap, a flutter, she wasn’t sure—and she had no idea what it meant. She turned back to the ocean, focused on all that power, that mystery.
Adri, of course, was undeterred by Stevie’s silence. She settled next to her, and Stevie was momentarily overwhelmed by familiarity—Adri’s rosewater scent, the familiar way a sigh slipped from her throat.
The way she pressed her shoulder into Stevie’s. That touch was like a fingerprint—she’d know Adri blindfolded.
“I’m sorry,” Adri said.
“Are you?” Stevie asked, still not looking at her. Ocean. Water. Waves.
“Yeah. I am.”
“For what exactly?”
Adri didn’t answer for a while, but it was a fair question. She wrapped her arms around her knees, leaned forward a little, and the wind whipped her hair into the sky, the fading light turning the color a dark green.
“For being an ass to Iris?” Adri finally said.
“Is that a question? Because you were definitely an ass to Iris. Have been, actually, since the audition.”
Adri nodded. “Yeah. I’m sorry for being an ass to Iris.”
“Okay. That’s a start.”
Adri sighed and shook her head. “Look, I guess I wasn’t exactly prepared for this.”